Ask any mermaid you happen to see...

...who's the best blogger—Chicken Of The Sea!

WHINER OF THE WEEK
There's a regular feature in the sports section on msnbc.com called "Whiner Of The Week", and you can just about bet the farm that this week's honoree will be Texas Rangers outfielder/head case Milton Bradley.  Seems that during one of the Rangers' games here at Kauffman Stadium this week, young Milt was busy in the clubhouse watching the local broadcast of the game he was playing in (rather than actually paying attention to the game itself, apparently), and he took offense at some remarks that Royals TV announcer Ryan Lefebvre made regarding Bradley's highly-publicized on-field fracases (fraci?), in which Lefebvre drew the comparison between Bradley and his teammate Josh Hamilton, who overcame a big-time drug problem and is currently having a career year, so why can't Bradley get his shit together?  A fair question, indeed, but that didn't stop cousin Miltie from going after (literally) Mr. Lefebvre after that game in hopes of physically attacking him.

First off, Ryan Lefebvre is hardly a malicious dude—he's about two steps away from milquetoast as a play-by-play man, in my book, and second off, Bradley's uncouth pattern of behavior pretty much speaks for itself.  Uhhh, Milt baby, might I suggest you stop acting like a horse's ass all the time?  Then maybe those mean old announcer dudes will stop picking on your whiny ass.  Talk to the hand, buddy...

TIM RUSSERT, 1950-2008
A bit of a shocker this weekend with the unexpected passing of "Meet The Press" moderator Tim Russert, who died of a heart attack yesterday.  Although I do remember Russert making regular appearances on dickhead Don Imus' show before the big ho scandal, I have to plead a little ignorance here and say I don't really know all that much about the man since I'm rarely up at that hour on Sundays to watch MTP.  He's obviously well-respected amongst his peers—even Faux News Channel has been praising his body of work today—therefore, he must have been a very important figure.

CHARLIE JONES, 1930-2008
For the second straight weekend, we've lost one of the voices from the soundtrack of my youth.  First it was Jim McKay, and now it's former ABC/NBC play-by-play man Charlie Jones, who died of a heart attack yesterday at age 77.  I practically grew up hearing Charlie's voice, as he seemingly was the announcer just about every time the Chiefs were on TV (especially when they played at Denver or San Diego).  CJ was paired with Chiefs legend Len Dawson in the late '70s on NBC's NFL broadcasts, and they worked quite well together.  He also broadcast the first Super Bowl, as well as several Olympics and served as play-by-play man for both the Cincinnati Reds and Colorado Rockies at times.  A native of Fort Smith, Arkansas, Jones had an easy-going, almost folksy on-air demeanor, and he always seemed like a very pleasant man who enjoyed his work.  Rest in peace, Charlie, you will be missed...

MOTHER NATURE'S COLORS ARE SHOWING...
Just ask the folks in Iowa—and we thought 1993 was bad around these parts.  The entire city of Cedar Rapids, IA is flooded out and Des Moines is about to follow suit.  Sadly, there's no relief in sight as more rain is in the forecast and the rivers are a-risin'.  Downstream in St. Louis, the Mississippi is approaching 1993 levels to the point where they had to close The President casino under the Gateway Arch because the access road leading to it is now impassable.  I'm just curious who Rev. Pat Robertson is going to claim has been "asking for it" in this particular case, like he did after Hurricane Katrina.  After all, there's all them sinners in a Bible-belt state like Iowa, ain't there?  Seriously, I hope all of our good neighbors to the north are able to rebound from this catastrophe ASAP.

YOU DON'T NEED A WEATHERMAN TO KNOW WHICH WAY THE WIND BLOWS...
Whilst I'm on weather, screw all these high-tech TV meteorologist wankers—it was pre-ordained that it would rain here in Kansas City on Thursday night—the band Chicago was in town!  Folks, you can set your calendar by this—it nearly always rains here when Robert Lamm and the boys are here in town and playing a concert outdoors, as they were Thursday night with the Doobie Bros. at Starlight Theater.  Perhaps Chicago should rename themselves The Rainmakers, but darn it, we already have a very successful band in this town by that name...

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #86
"Me And Bobby McGee"—JANIS JOPLIN (1971)  "I pulled my harpoon out of my dirty red bandana..."  Okay, I first heard this song when I was in 1st grade.  It confused me then, and continued to do so well into adulthood.  I thought when Janis said "harpoon", she was referring to a stabbing weapon, not a musical instrument! Harpoon/harmonica=two different things!  Oy...

PLEASE MAKE THEM STOP!
Bless their hearts for trying, but is there not anything more pathetic than PBS pledge drives?  Last night, our local PBS affiliate was airing some concert video featuring '60s/'70s groups/singers performing in the modern day, and it was just plain sad.  Examples include the drummer/lead singer from Rare Earth (doing "Get Ready") and singer Sonny Geraci of Climax (doing "Precious And Few") to an audience of mostly empty seats in whatever venue they taped this "event" in, and it was just pathetic.  I'd gladly pledge a few semolians to PBS if they'd cease airing these travesties...