ABBA DABBA-DON'T!

For those of you keeping score, that's Benny in the red jacket at the far left in the pic. Agnetha is in the white top above the first "A" in "Mamma", between Meryl Streep on her right and Anni-Frid (Frida) Lyngstad on her left, and that's Björn in the white jacket second from the right.
IT MIGHT BE...IT COULD BE...IT IS!! A GOAL?!?
It appears the NHL is going to stage this season's outdoor hockey game at venerable Wrigley Field between the Chicago Blackhawks and Detroit Red Wings. I'm a tad surprised at this, since they could easily pack in another 30,000 tuque wearers at the much larger Soldier Field II, but since the game is scheduled for New Year's Day, I guess it would be a logistical problem if the Bears make the playoffs. I still say they'd have no problem scheduling one of these special games here at Arrowhead Stadium—it's not like the Chiefs ever need the place in January...
CAN YOU SAY "HYPOCHONDRIAC"?
Every so often, we get these over-officious patients at my workplace who go to the trouble of typing out a dossier of their various ailments and complaints. I thought I'd share a little example (exactly as the woman typed it):
—SYMPTONS
—HAVING TROUBLE WALKING STRAIGHT
—SHUFFLE FEET
—GANT IS NOT THE SAME (Former Atlanta Brave Ron Gant?!?)
—CAN'T WALK WITH ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF OTHER (Alcoholism?)
—POUNDING IN MY HEAD-NO PAIN OR HEADACHES
—THOUGHTS KEEP RUSHING THROUGH MY MIND AND WON'T STOP
—HAD CATARAC SURGERY ON BOTH EYES, LAST FALL
—TROUBLE CONCENTRATION AND REMEMBERING
—MY WRITING IS GETTING WORSE (No shit!)
And then she used the mighty F-word:
—I HAVE FIBROMYLGIA...
If there's ever a word that's guaranteed to cause rolling eyes in our office it's Fibromyalgia! The scary part about all this is this woman actually drove herself to and from her appointment with us!
"WE ALL KNOW THAT CRAP IS KING..."—PART 1
Heaven's to Betsy—A-Rod is divorcing his wife! And he's been romantically-linked to Madonna! A-Rod stands to lose millions of dollars—cry me a fuckin' river, will ya? Oh, and Christie Brinkley's divorcing the dickhead she married after dumping Billy Joel! Whatever will we do?!? And of course, "Entertainment Tonight" will be sure to keep us informed of every up-to-the-minute detail—they said so right on their show last night. I feel sooo reassured now...
"WE ALL KNOW THAT CRAP IS KING..."—PART 2
ESPN's obsession with Brett Favre apparently knows no bounds, as they continually keep pushing all these Favre-coming-out-of-retirement-again rumors, in spite of the fact that the man himself has consistently denied them. I find it sad that ESPN feels the need to manufacture sports news instead of merely reporting it...
PARTS IS PARTS!
The signboard at our local Colonel Sanders chicken emporium this week was hyping something about a "10-PIECE MALE". Uhhh, I think I have more pieces than that—some longer than others!
YET ANOTHER SELLOUT...
Was very disappointed to hear Blue Öyster Cult's "Godzilla" on a TV commercial tonight. Couldn't they have at least found a better product to use such a cool song on than CarTrader.com?!?
YOU CANNOT BE SERIOUS!
The local yokel small-time daytime-only AM station that carries ESPN's "Mike & Mike In The Morning" fills in their unused advertising time by running numerous public service announcements, including an extremely implausible one featuring Paris Hilton (yes, THE Paris Hilton) encouraging all her fellow females to "Rock The Vote" simply because "Chicks rock!" I bet the little skank isn't even a registered voter...
EMBRACING FAMILY VALUES

As for "Family Guy" itself, I'd seen it a time or two over the years and liked it, but for some reason, I resisted its charms until just recently when it kept popping up on TBS and Cartoon Network, et al. The episode that finally hooked me was the one where Peter and Lois attend a Kiss concert (in full make-up) and meet up later with the band at a Denny's. My man Stewie is a total crack-up, and I love the way they skewer old TV shows like "Eight Is Enough", "One Day At A Time" and "Joanie Loves Chachi" on here. It's like "The Simpsons" on steroids, and me and the dog have two things in common: the same cool first name and a penchant for drinking...
No comments:
Post a Comment