THE JOYS OF HOME OWNERSHIP
As per usual when it comes to home improvement projects at my humble abode, I ran into a snag while attempting to redo my bathroom. After removing the sheet rock along the exterior wall, I was pleased the find there was indeed insulation behind it, unlike my bedroom that I just finished doing. However, after removing the insulation, I was quite displeased by the slap-dash job done by whoever it was that remodeled my house way back when long before I owned the place. Those two horizontal gaps you see between the wood in this pic expose the aluminum siding on the outside of the house, subsequently allowing rainwater to get into the wood, causing that black shit you see, which is mold—it's a wonder I haven't gotten sick on this crap! Some of that exposed wood is nothing more than a sponge now, too. The good news here is it's a relatively inexpensive fix, similar to what my friend Phil and I did to the back door area of my house last year, albeit rather time-consuming.A BIG PET PEEVE OF MINE...
...is people who abuse handicapped parking spaces, and I'm now on a bit of a crusade at my workplace. There's this insipid woman who works for another company in our little office complex who thinks nothing of parking her car all day long in one of our handicapped spots. While it's true the woman has an official handicapped tag hanging from her mirror, there ain't a damn thing wrong with her, unless having a fat ass is now considered a handicap (in which case, ALL parking spaces might as well have wheelchairs painted in them). This woman certainly has no problem negotiating the two flights of stairs to enter her building, so yesterday I took it upon myself to type up this little note and affix it to her windshield:
"Wow, for someone who's handicapped, you sure get around pretty good! Just so you'll know, at 10:15 this morning, ALL of the handicapped spots in both parking lots here were full, so the next person who came along who truly needed one was pretty much screwed, huh?...Hope you can live with yourself—just because you have a handicapped tag doesn't mean you have to use it!"
What's all the more appalling is this be-yatch works in the medical field, so she should know better! While I'm on the subject, another pet peeve of mine are these lazy-ass people who press the handicapped-assist button to open the doors in office buildings, like they're just too weak to open the door on their own power...
YOU FELL FOR THAT (LITERALLY)?
Some yokel in Knoxville, TN claims he was so consumed by the spirit of God that he fell and hit his head while worshiping, so in typical red-blooded American conservative Christian style, the guy is suing the Lakewind Church for, oh, about 2.5 million semolians for his medical bills and "suffering". Lawyers for the church claim that his fellow worshipers saw the man on the floor laughing after he fell. In a way, I kinda hope the fucker wins—hell, I'd gladly go fall on my ass in a church for that kind of money in a heartbeat! Praise the Lord and pass the loot...
SPEAKING OF RELIGIOUS PHONIES...
Not that I needed any further proof of what a cheese-dick he is, there was our favorite race-baiter, the Rev. Jesse Jackson this week saying that he wanted to "cut his nuts off", in reference to Barack Obama and the way he supposedly "talks down to black people." Funny, but I thought "men of the cloth" weren't supposed to talk like that...
DUMB QUESTION, BUT...
...what the hell was the film School of Rock doing on Cartoon Network the other night? Don't get me wrong, it's a funny flick, but what's it got to do with cartoons?!? I find it rather pathetic how the cable networks can't seem to remain true to themselves by airing stuff that's out of their milieu. TV Land is now obsessed with reality crap like "She's Got The Look" and "High School Reunion", The Learning Channel doesn't have a damn thing to do with learning ("World's Wildest Police Chases"?!?), BET airs a bunch of greedy white TV evangelists all the time, History Channel airs that ponderous "Ice Road Truckers" crap, ESPN is almost nothing but poker now and I don't think MTV has shown a music video since "The Macarena" came out. Can we get back to the days when cable channels lived up to their names?
SPEAKING OF CARTOONS...
I made this little observation while watching "Family Guy" the other day—why is it humanoid cartoon characters always have three fingers and a thumb instead of four fingers and a thumb? Why the digit deficit in animated humans?
STEVE MINGORI, 1944-2008
I read in the paper yesterday that former Royals pitcher Steve Mingori passed away on Thursday at age 64. I remember how his was one of the first baseball cards I ever got out of a pack when I was about seven. He pitched for Cleveland at the time, but he was a K.C. native, starring at Rockhurst High, and was traded to his hometown team just in time to be a part of the Royals' glory years in the '70s. Rest in piece, Mingo...
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #88
"Tomorrow And Tonight"—KISS (1977) "Take it in the cellar, let me see your fella--I'm gonna teach ya somethin' new..." This never was one of my favorite Kiss songs, but I always thought the line went "Let me be your fella." Let me see your fella?!? Fella?!? What the hell kind of Rock lyric is that? Then again, Paul Stanley has often been accused of pitching for both teams...
YUMPIN' YIMINY!
Former tennis player-turned-nun Andrea Jaeger recently admitted to "throwing" a championship match at Wimbeldon to Martina Navratilova back in the '80s. Seems that Sister Jaeger felt that she may have disrupted Martina's preparation for the match the night before, and couldn't have lived with herself if she'd won, so she aided and abetted Navratilova's win. Rather honorable of her, I suppose, and hearing her name reminded me of something I read in a magazine when Jaeger was popular when someone asked what her training regimen entailed. According to the magazine, "Andrea yogs and yumps rope a lot..."
No comments:
Post a Comment