The Simpsons Vs. Family Guy--Tale of the Tape

Having become a recent convert to TV’s “The Family Guy”, I thought it would be great fun to compare and contrast the venerable show that obviously inspired it, “The Simpsons”, so here’s how the shows stack up for me, character by character.

The Dads:  Homer Simpson vs. Peter Griffin
They’re both lovable schlubs, both dumb as a box of rocks and both have very man-child qualities to them, but I give the edge to Homer, who I find far more likeable.  Peter G. gets points for being a die-hard Kiss fan and all, but he can be very obnoxious and even rather creepy at times, so for me, Homer is da man!  Advantage:  The Simpsons

The Moms:  Marge Simpson vs. Lois Griffin
Both have voices that grate on you like Fran Drescher, and bless Marge for putting up with Homer all these years, but I’m more partial to Lois—she’s a redhead, after all, and she has better legs too…  Advantage:  Family Guy

The Sons:  Bart Simpson vs. Chris Griffin
Aye carrumba!  Gotta go with the Bart Man all the way here—he’s infinitely funnier, far craftier and is in a whole different league than Chris, who I find rather annoying at times and quite doltish.  Advantage:  The Simpsons

The Daughters:  Lisa Simpson vs. Meg GriffinHmmm, Lisa is the sax-playing brainiac and Meg has no discernible talent at all, yet I kinda like her anyway, in spite of that condom hat she always wears.  Can’t seem to choose between the two.  Advantage:  Push

The Infants:  Maggie Simpson vs. Stewie Griffin
No contest here—as cute as Maggie might be, Stewie clearly outshines his pacifier-sucking counterpart by light years.  He would surely tell you that himself…  Advantage:  Family Guy

The Dogs:  Santa’s Little Helper vs. Brian Griffin
This really isn’t a fair competition since SLH doesn’t really do much on “The Simpsons”. With such a cool name Brian wins anyway, and besides, he can drink me under the table!  Advantage:  Family Guy

The Grandfathers:  Abe Simpson vs. Carter Pewterschmidt
Gotta go with Homer’s dad here—as curmudgeonly as he is, he’s so much funnier than Lois Griffin’s ultra-snobbish father.  Advantage:  The Simpsons

The Neighbors:  Ned Flanders vs. Cleveland Brown
Their voices are so similar, it’s almost scary, by I have to go with my man Cleveland, even though he’s quite possibly the whitest black man in America this side of Al Roker.  Ned’s too big of a mamby-pamby, yes indeed-ely-doo.  Advantage:  Family Guy

The Watering Holes:  Moe’s vs. The Drunken Clam
The Clam has the great name, but you can’t get a Flaming Moe or Duff Beer there, so I give Moe’s the nod, if only just barely…  Advantage:  The Simpsons

The Mayors:  Joe Quimby vs. Adam WestQuimby does an admirable Ted Kennedy impersonation, but I have to go with the Caped Crusader, the great Adam West, who doesn’t mind poking fun at himself.  Advantage:  Family Guy

The Pompous News Anchors:  Kent Brockman vs. Tom Tucker
Both sound authoritative but have little substance—they’d be perfect fits on Faux News Channel!  Advantage:  Push

The Cops:  Chief Clancy Wiggum vs. Officer Joe Swanson
Another toss-up.  Let’s just say I respect their authoritahhh, and leave it at that!  Advantage:  Push

Final analysis:  Family Guy 5, Simpsons 4, Push 3.  Unfortunately, I couldn’t come up with a good counterpart to compare the irrepressible Glen Quagmire to, so he’s in a class all by himself.  Advantage:  Giggity!!  Still, the results are pretty even all the way through.  Just goes to prove these are both classic TV comedies.