Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Ask NOT what your blogger can do for you...

...ask what YOU can do for your blogger! :-)~

THE BATTLE RAGES ON
Leave it to the anti-abortionists to use a college graduation ceremony as a political football during Pres. Obama’s guest appearance at Notre Dame over the weekend.  What should’ve been a time of celebration and hope for the future gets dragged through the mud instead by a bunch of opportunistic religious zealots.  What does abortion have to do with a commencement ceremony anyway?  I find it pretty strange that even the President isn’t welcome to speak somewhere in his own country.

I’m unabashedly pro-choice myself, and a big reason why is these clowns who hide behind their Bibles and go around making warped claims like “Obama is killing children,” as this bozo I saw on TV Monday did.  Obama isn’t killing anyone!  And if the anti-abortion camp would bother to listen to Obama’s stance, they’d hear that he’s not crazy about it either, and wants to limit it as much as possible without banning it altogether.  Although I understand where the Pro-Lifers are coming from to a certain extent, I put many of them in the same boat as Rev. Fred Phelps and his merry band of Neolithic dipshits because many of them are so strident and unreasonable in their beliefs and go around demonizing everyone who voices an opposing view to the point where I don’t know how to deal with them.  The late brother Carlin was so right when he said, “Have you ever noticed that most of the people who are against abortion are people you wouldn’t wanna fuck in the first place?...There’s such balance in nature!”

Being as I have no desire to have children myself, I’m probably the wrong person to pose this question, but just how many of you self-righteous Pro-Lifers out there would be willing to adopt (or already have adopted) unwanted children?  A pretty low percentage, I bet.  Conversely, how many of you are in favor of the death penalty?  A whole boatload, I bet!  I’d also be willing to bet that not everyone in that student body at ND is Pro-Life, either.  And just like the conflict in the Middle East, abortion is an argument that will never go away…

OHHHH-BAMA!
President O. got the last laugh over the Notre Dame thing, when he remarked to the university president that this weekend’s hoop-de-doo “paled in comparison to what to do about the football team…That’s an issue we may not resolve within my four years.”  Being the renowned Fighting Irish despiser that I am, it makes me almost wanna kiss the man!  Almost…

BY GEORGE, HE’S GOT IT!
Although some were offended, I personally loved former Royal George Brett’s profanity-laced tirade on local news Monday when he went off about recent criticism of current Royals skipper Trey Hillman.  Perhaps GB should’ve used a tad more tact, given the situation (and evidently he was quite sober at the time), but I totally agree with his message that Hillman gets unfairly ripped at every turn for his handling of the Royals, never mind that they’re three games over .500 and one game out of first place in May—something that’s rarely happened here since the Bush I administration!  Yes, Hillman gets burned on his aggressive moves now and then, and doesn’t always handle pitching changes efficiently (mostly involving Kyle Farnsworth), but I’m pleased with his work overall—it’s a damn sight better than the Tony Muser/Tony Pena/Buddy Bell era.

sThe local media hacks Brett mentioned by name—Roger Twibell, Jack Harry and Kevin Keitzman—are all a bunch of self-serving opportunistic grandstanders merely out to stir the pot and generate ratings for themselves.  Twibell’s biggest claim to fame around here is calling Chiefs preseason games on TV (big whoop!) and his morning radio show wallows in its own ratings feces.  Keitzman is an arrogant phony on sports talk radio too, and Jack Harry (not to be confused with jive actress Jack√©e Harry, who is just about as equally-irrelevant) is way past his prime as a TV sports anchor, and the older he gets, the more pompous he gets.  And the rest of the K.C. area sports yak realm is filled with a bunch of junior Bulldog Briscoes who think they can manage a Major League ballclub any ol’ day.  Like the late Bon Scott of AC/DC used to sing, “I tell ya, folks, it’s harder than it looks…”

FAREWELL, GREAT KORNHOLIO!
ESPN did what I’d been suggesting for months now by removing Tony Kornheiser from the “Monday Night Football” broadcast team, replacing him with former Tampa and Oakland head coach Jon Gruden.  They spin-doctored Kornheiser’s dismissal enough to make it sound like it all stems from his fear of flying, but I think we all know better—he got sacked because he sucked!  I don’t know why ABC/ESPN keeps trying to re-create the ‘70s by hiring some pseudo-Howard Cosell personality for the broadcast booth—it just doesn’t work.  The Cosell/Meredith/Gifford team was lightning in a bottle and not something that can (or should) be duplicated, certainly not in this modern era.  Gruden is an unknown commodity here, but I have no doubt ol’ Chuckie will still be a major upgrade on MNF next season, and now Kornheiser can go back to making an ass out of himself five days a week on "PTI".  Try and do better the next time, eh Tony?

DUHHHH! WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT?
Major League Baseball is also doing something I’ve been suggesting all along by moving up the start times of World Series games by nearly 40 minutes, starting this fall.  This way, the games won’t end at damn near Midnight, Eastern Time—or in some cases, Midnight, Central Time.  Fox Sports has also agreed to move their pre-game show up to 7:30 Eastern, instead of 8:00.  I say eliminate the damn thing altogether and start the friggin’ games at 7:30!  The World Series is something that should need no hype anyway…

GET OUT OF DENVER, BABY—GO, GO!
Seems the Denver McNuggets bassit-ball team has a conflict at their home arena, the Pepsi Center, for their playoff game on Monday with the Lakers.  Evidently, that vaunted seat of sporting integrity, the WWE, is already booked for that night, and they don’t seem to want to relinquish the venue, even though they’ve only sold 10,000 tickets—roughly half of Pepsi Center’s capacity—for the wrasslin’ event.  10,000?  I had no idea there was that much White Trash in Colorado, but I digress.  Why not move the wrestling to Red Rocks or something?  Better yet, just cancel it altogether…we'll all be better off for it.

BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID…
Out new Clinical Engineering manager at the MRI clinic I work at doesn’t seem to understand the concept of the automatic door-closer.  Every time she enters my work area, she always pushes the door herself instead of letting it close on its own.  If anything, constantly pushing on it will foul the closer up in the long run.  And she’s supposed to know the inner workings of a CT scanner?  This same woman almost recently proceeded to march into our MRI room carrying metal tools before she was stopped by the techs just in time before the metal got sucked into the magnet.  Obee-Kaybee…

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #114
“Bawitdaba”—KID ROCK (1998)  “Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy.”  They used to play this piece de caca on the P.A. at Chiefs games all time at Arrowhead, and the first time I heard it, I thought he was singing “dicky dicky dicky” instead of “diggy” x 3.  Thus, I couldn’t help but wonder what team this asshat in a hat was pitching for…

"10-4 ON THAT CHOKE-‘N’-PUKE…"
During a nostalgia discussion at work the other day, the subject of road trips, and specifically, Stuckey’s legendary Pecan Log Rolls, came up.  I never partook of said delicacy myself, mostly because I’m allergic to chocolate and peanuts, but since they always looked like big turds on those Stuckey’s highway billboard signs, I doubt if I would have tried them anyway!  Surprisingly, Stuckey’s still exists, mostly in the Southeast and lower Midwest, with a few locations scattered about Kansas and Missouri.  But, what was once a restaurant chain has basically been reduced to glorified convenience stores, many with Dairy Queens attached to them.


That discussion also reminded me of Stuckey’s main competitor back in the ‘70s, the Nickerson Farms chain that aligned itself with Skelly gasoline.  According to Wikipedia, NF was started by a disgruntled Stuckey’s manager-type who had issues with that company’s rules and regulations, which partially explains why there always seemed to be a Nickerson joint within about five or so miles of every Stuckey’s along the interstate!  I got a chuckle one night while watching an old NFL Films highlight reel featuring the AFL Denver Broncos on their own practice field—in the shadow of a Nickerson Farms store looming in the background.

Nickersons bought the farm sometime in the early ‘80s, but you can’t miss those old stores that are still standing today and littering the Interstates, like the one in the above pic, with others being reused as truck stop restaurants or serving as gi-normous fireworks stands.  As for the Indian cat depicted here, I can’t help but wonder if that’s his reaction to the Nickerson menu fare…

COMING SOON…
…to a blog near you, the companion piece to my Best Live Album countdown—the Worst Live Album countdown!  And it might surprise you that both Kiss and The Who appear on it…

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