A while back, I was at Barnes & Noble in search of a self-help book my therapist had recommended to me, which B&N didn’t have in stock. But while in the store, I meandered over to the Music section and found Dee Snider’s autobiography, Shut Up And Give Me The Mic-A Twisted Memoir. I’ve long been a fan of Twisted Sister, and I thought ‘what the hey?’, so I dropped and gave Barnes & Noble 20 and snagged the book. Little did I realize it was not only a fun read about an ‘80s icon, but a bit of a self-help book in its own right. SPOILER ALERT: I quote quite a bit from the book in blue, so if you’re planning to read it yourself, beware…
“My father fought my pursuing a career in music more than ever. After what he had witnessed [a disastrous local band gig when Snider was a teen], why wouldn’t he? He couldn’t have been more disappointed in the path his oldest son was taking. Once I had given up playing baseball completely [his father’s chosen profession for him] and started growing my hair out (after an ugly forced-haircut incident in the beginning of tenth grade), my dad pretty much gave up on me. He barely talked to or even acknowledged me for years…In fairness to my dad, he was raised during the Great Depression, a time when dreams were shattered, not achieved. He was raised to believe that the only way to get anything in life is by fighting and clawing every inch of the way, and that dreams didn’t come true.” This was beginning to sound eerily familiar to me…
Dee (then known as Danny, his given name) and his sister gave a living room “performance” of the Human Beinz’ “Nobody But Me” for their parents that they practiced really hard for, and his old man immediately mocked it: “What kind of stupid song is that?” He went on to tell his friends about his “idiot son” and his asinine “No-No” song. Dee continues: “Years later, my dad tried to take credit for my success, suggesting that his being so hard on me as a boy is what drove me on. ‘It’s like that Johnny Cash song “A Boy Named Sue,”' he proclaimed. 'If I wasn’t so tough on you, you never would have made it.’ To this stupidity I responded, ‘How do you know I wouldn’t be happier as a well-adjusted accountant?’ Dick.” Ironically, my old man’s chosen profession for me was accounting. Dee’s old man and my old man should’ve gotten together and compared notes.
On alcohol and drug use:
“Why don’t I party? Ah, the million-dollar question. Well, I don’t drink because I had a bad experience when I was fourteen. I got so smashed I couldn’t get off the floor and swore that if the good Lord above me ever let me walk again, I would never touch demon alcohol…As for drugs, I’ve always known I have an obsessive personality, and if I started doing drugs, I wouldn’t be able to control myself. Besides, I never really had a problem ‘letting myself go’…Am I anti-drugs-and-alcohol? Not really. I’m just anti-asshole. If you can party and remain who you are or become a looser, more fun version of who you are, God bless you. But if when you party, you become some shape-shifting obnoxious asshole who doesn’t know when to quit…you, I can live without.”
“The unfortunate thing is, society has created an environment where people don’t feel comfortable letting themselves go unless they’re high or have a few in them. How many times have you been somewhere and asked someone (or been asked by someone) to do something such as dance or sing and heard (or said), ‘Just let me have a couple of drinks.’ Why? Because society dictates that it’s okay to get crazy, silly or act foolish if you’re high. It gives you an excuse to embarrass yourself. ‘Oh, I was soooo wasted.’ If I climb on top of a bar, pull out my dick, and piss on the floor and I’m drunk, they put me in a cab and send me home. If I do the same thing and I’m sober, they say I’m crazy and I get my ass kicked, arrested, or both. That double standard creates a dangerous environment…If you want people to stop getting drunk and high (especially kids), you need to change the way society perceives it. Stop making it an acceptable excuse for poor behavior. Stop portraying it as cool. And stop viewing outgoing behavior when you’re not high as weird. Then you’ll see some changes.” I like Snider’s attitude, here. I drink (sometimes to excess, yes), but I don’t think I become an asshole when I do—I’m more of a funny drunk, if anything.
On his positive approach to life:
“…I came up with a new, personal motivation concept: PMA, or positive mental attitude. I kid you not. I believed that if I thought and acted positively, positive things would happen for me, and my positive thoughts would become reality. I still do. I now know that’s just another form of self-fulfilling prophecy, but when I was 16, it was more my becoming aware of the power of positive thinking. From that time on (and to this day), when people asked me how I was doing, I didn’t say ‘Okay’ or even ‘Good,’ I said, “Excellent!” Even when I wasn’t, this mind-set has taken me everywhere, and when things were bad, it kept me from wallowing in self-pity and negativity and focused on the promise of what lay ahead. Besides, it beat the hell out of such mantras as ‘It’s just one of those days’, ‘it’s just my luck,’ and ‘Murphy’s Law’. To hear kids reinforcing these negative thoughts in their young, fertile mind is simply maddening to me. Thinking like that sets you up for a lifetime of accepting failure. Screw that!” PMA became a great source of amusement to his father, who was quick to throw it back in his face when something went awry. My old man would’ve done the same with me. In fact, he often did—anytime I expressed confidence or excitement about something, he’d find a way to piss all over my enthusiasm. Dick. (Hey, Dee started it!)
On his state of mind following the infamous 1985 PMRC hearings on Capitol Hill:
“I was born in the ‘50s and grew up in the ‘60s and ‘70s. I was raised believing Washington, DC was sort of like Oz; a beautiful, special place where people watched out for our better interest and did great things. Sure I had lived through Watergate and the election of a B-movie actor and Joe McCarthy/House Un-American Activities Committee rat to the highest office in the country, but I still hung on to a childish belief that some good people were still working for us. Not anymore. Sitting face-to-face with these personal-agenda-driven opportunists, they beat the last bit of hope out of me.” I find myself feeling the same damn way as I watch this current joke of an election campaign unfold…
Snider’s perspectives on other bands and musicians:
Dee was heavily influence by the almost daily TV appearances by the Monkees and especially Paul Revere & The Raiders. “I was drawn to the subtle danger of singer Mark Lindsay from Paul Revere & The Raiders (whose) songs were innuendo-filled. Hits such as ‘Hungry’ and ‘Kicks’ were barely veiled songs about sex, drugs and alcohol. Mark Lindsay’s slight rasp along with the generally ‘heavier’ tone of the band’s music are recognized precursors to what would become ‘hard-rock’…and eventually ‘heavy metal’. I am an original headbanger and I credit Paul Revere & The Raiders for starting me down that path. Thank you, boys!” Dee is slightly incorrect—“Kicks” was actually anti-drugs and alcohol—but it’s nice to see I’m not the only one who feels this way about this vastly underrated and underappreciated band. The Raiders were my first taste of real Rock ‘N’ Roll when I was three years old, and 45 years later, they still rock my world. Stomp and shout and work it on out…
“When it came to Rock bands and Rock music, no band was bigger than Led Zeppelin. [Cover] Bands went to incredible lengths to play the most accurate renditions of Zeppelin songs, and the audiences demanded it. Playing Led Zeppelin poorly was sacrilege. The funny thing is, I remember seeing Led Zep on their 1977 tour and being stunned by how “inaccurate” they were live. Sorry, boys, but if a bar band played your music the way you did that night, they would have been tarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail. Seriously.” Amen to that, Brother Dee! Now I’m not suggesting (and I don’t think Snider is either) that a band should play every song in their repertoire in concert note-for-note exactly like their records every night (like Rush used to do, for instance), but Zeppelin was one of the worst offenders in Dee’s scenario and they were a very iffy live act, at best. Some nights they were fine, I suppose, but most of the live recordings I’ve ever heard of them aren’t very good. Too many long jams and self-indulgent tangents—damn near half an hour just to play “Dazed And Confused”? Seriously? The Who were known to indulge themselves now and then too (especially during the post-Tommy era), but at least they kept it lively and didn’t lull the audience to sleep like Zeppelin did. Robert Plant would also just phone in some lyrical passages and Jimmy Page’s guitar was often woefully out of tune.
On meeting Billy Joel and Ritchie Blackmore after a gig in the late ‘70s: “Meeting these two hugely successful musicians was eye-opening for me. Where Blackmore was weird, standoffish and unlikeable, Joel was the exact opposite. Welcoming and self-deprecating, with virtually no ego, despite his multiplatinum status, Billy did everything to show how gracious and down-to-earth a star can be. When people spoke of Ritchie, it was with disgust and loathing. With Billy, it was only with praise and admiration. After the party that night I reran the experiences I had had with both Rock luminaries. I started to wonder how I came off to people and what they said about me after I left. In my heart I knew the answer: I was way more of a Ritchie Blackmore than a Billy Joel. I vowed to make a change, promising myself I would be more like Billy. I kept that promise…but it did take me a few years to put it into full effect.” This is ironic because back in the late ‘70s, I always thought Mr. Piano Man came off as a bit aloof and his remarks in Circus magazine about Kiss (“I won’t associate myself with acts like that”) didn’t exactly endear me to him when I was 14, but over time, Billy has proven to be quite affable and not a bad dude. He even played piano on Twisted Sister’s “Be Chrool to Your Scuel” on 1985’s ill-fated Come Out And Play album. Ritchie Blackmore, on the other hand, has always come off as a moody, weird duck to me. Helluva guitar player, but all the personality of a ball peen hammer.
“While my onstage rants are pretty much spontaneous, if I hit on something that works universally, I won’t hesistate to reuse it or modify it to fit the current situation. That said, I can’t understand how bands can use the same stage patter, verbatim, every night. How can it always be appropriate or not get old?...Triumph used to turn their massive light show on the upper balcony of the audience—every night, at the same moment in the show—and say “How y’all doin’ up there!” It would always get a huge response. Except for the night the show hadn’t sold well and the balcony was closed off and empty. The janitor up there by himself, sweeping the balcony, was doing fine…Paul Stanley from Kiss is renowned for exactly replicating his onstage speeches, every show, on every tour—even after they’ve been captured on live albums…You gotta keep it fresh, kids, and react to your surroundings—not every venue and audience is the same.” I totally agree with Dee on this one. I’ll never forget the time I busted Stanley at a Kiss show in Topeka on the 1987 Crazy Nights tour when he went into his standard “I went to the doctor today to get myself checked out” bit, wherein he gets seduced by (or seduces, I forget which) a sexy nurse who gets to play with his “Love Gun”. There was just one little problem on that particular November night in Topeka—it was Thanksgiving! Except for ERs, there ain’t no doctors examining nobody nowhere on Turkey Day. Nice try, Starchild…
I love this story about a phone call Dee received one day after arriving in England for a tour: “Dee Snider? ThesesBrianJohnsonfrumAhseeDahysee. We cannahafya settinya ‘otelrum onaMundeh-nightenNewcaseh. Ahmacomin’ tuh-gitya, me boy.” In plain English, that’s “Dee Snider? This is Brian Johnson from AC/DC. We can’t have you sitting in your hotel room on a Monday night in Newcastle. I’m coming to get you, my boy.” I also remember once during an interview when it sounded like Johnson said ‘piss’ when he actually said ‘pace’. As Robin Williams once said of race driver/commentator Jackie Stewart: “…a man who speaks English, but still needs a translator.”
Loved this story too, about when Snider appeared at the Grammy Awards in 1985. Also there was Prince, who was escorted to the stage by a phalanx of security people. Dee expounds: “During the maybe 150-yard walk, the lead bodyguard was barking out orders to the celebrities and crew backstage. ‘Don’t look at him! Avert your eyes! Look away! Stop staring!’ As Prince and The Revolution passed a bunch of us (I assume they passed, none of them could be seen behind their security), the lead asshole tells Stevie Wonder to LOOK AWAY! Are you freakin’ kidding me?!” Now, I don’t know how true the Stevie Wonder part is, but if this scene really happened, it tells me all I need to know about what a pretentious and arrogant little fuck that Prince truly is if he just can’t bear for people who admire him to even gaze upon his fey little ass. Get off your high-horse, Prince-y, baby—your shit stinks just like everyone else, you overrated little troll.
Dee re-tells the story featured on the Twisted Sister VH-1 Classic “Behind The Music” segment about their show in England that devolved into an epic free-for-all with the crowd pelting the stage with anything they could fling at it, including human excrement. “Someone-a threw-a shite!” exclaimed a bewildered Scottish roadie called Big John. Dee continues: “Wow. Somebody had thrown human shit at the stage. My mind was blown. So many questions about this needed to be answered. How much do you need to hate a band to throw human shit? Whose shit was it? The thrower’s or somebody else’s? Where did they get the shit? From a Porta Potti (sic), or did they just have it on standby in case they hated a band enough to throw it? Or were they so angered by us, they dropped trou, laid a fresh one, then hurled it? Which brings me back to my first question: how much do you need to hate a band to throw human shit? It’s a conundrum.” Never let it be said that Dee Snider and Twisted Sister don’t know shit(e)…
As with yours truly, once you land on Dee Snider’s official Shit(e) List, it’s mighty difficult to extricate yourself from it. He despised Twisted Sister’s third drummer so much that he wouldn’t even mention him by name in the book, only referring to him as “Drummer #3” (eventual permanent skinsman Tony “A.J.” Pero was Drummer #6, btw). And don’t even get Dee started on a certain Swiss metal band whose name started with a K (whom Snider only refers to as “Krapus” in the book) after that band reneged on paying his wife Suzette $1,500 for designing and creating their stage outfits for a 1983 tour. I won’t mention them by name either, but It doesn’t take Mr. Spock to determine that this would be the same Scorpions wanna-be band who scored a hit with “Screaming In The Night” and followed that with a bunch of lame and unnecessary cover songs like “School’s Out” and “Ballroom Blitz”. If Dee’s story is indeed true, then Krapus really are a bunch of Krap-weasels. No wonder Beavis & Butt-head didn’t like them…
“People often ask me what I think of current trends in music, and for the past 25 years or so I’ve said the same thing: ‘Not enough middle finger.’ Since my heyday, I’ve liked a lot of contemporary heavy music. I even liked Grunge—the Hair-Metal slayer—but in the 1990s and 2000s—and even still today—there’s just too much whining and complaining about how life sucks, and not enough middle finger. Back in the day, we didn’t complain about stuff, we railed against it, and if we couldn’t do anything about it, we shook our ‘junk’ in its face. That was the youth attitude of the time, and ‘80s metal bands exemplified that fuck-you state of mind. We weren’t gonna take it!” Ain’t that the truth? All that “life sucks” attitude is why I despise so much of the music from the ‘90s and the ’00s (uh-ohs is more like it). Oh, and another thing: FUCK Kurt Cobain! There, I said it…
My own random thoughts on Dee Snider/Twisted Sister:
It’s easy to forget that Dee Snider was NOT an original member of Twisted Sister, even though he’s the person who is the most associated with the band. TS was actually formed by lead guitarist Jay Jay French almost four years before Snider joined in 1976, and the group went through numerous personnel changes (three singers, four guitar players, two bass players and seven drummers, according to French) and musical genres (including Top 40 covers and even disco, believe it or not) before evolving into the Heavy Metal outfit we know and love (well some of us do, anyhow). French (who was often confused for Ace Frehley of Kiss without makeup) is the only Sister to make the entire 40-some-odd-year Twisted odyssey, but it seems to me that this was a truly odd band dynamic to have another guy come along in midstream and essentially take over the band, run it like it was his own baby and become the focal point of it. Snider wrote all the songs himself, made all the important creative decisions and did all the “heavy lifting”, you might say, while Suzette designed all the band’s stage costumes and basically created the pseudo-transgendered Twisted Sister motif—unwittingly inventing “Hair Metal” in the process!
Meanwhile, Jay Jay tended to the business end (until the band had proper management and got a record deal, anyway) and the other members of Twisted Sister—co-lead guitarist Eddie “Fingers” Ojeda, drummer A.J. Pero and bassist Mark “The Animal” Mendoza (himself a close friend of Snider’s and best man at his wedding to Suzette) seemingly more or less just tagged along for the ride. Dee accurately points out in the book that while French and Ojeda were certainly capable musicians and definitely had the Hair Metal “look”, neither of them were terribly flashy guitarists in the Eddie Van Halen/Randy Rhoads “Guitar God” vein, thus TS couldn’t really compete with the likes of Judas Priest or Iron Maiden for long. Snider himself didn’t really develop any sort of front man sex appeal to run with contemporaries like of Whitesnake’s David Coverdale, Vince Neil of Motley Crue or even Steven Tyler of Aerosmith. Anyway, Snider’s omnipotence created some very understandable rifts and dissention within the group, so Twisted Sister’s rapid descent after peaking in 1984 with the mammoth Stay Hungry album was not only predictable, but inevitable.
Even though Dee Snider always came off a braggart and boastful in a Nugent-esque sort of way, I’ve always liked him for some reason. Off stage, he seems very down-to-earth and even a bit humble at times, and he was never quite as crazy as his on-stage persona would dictate. One thing I did always take issue with Snider on was how he would on occasion call out anyone in the crowd who wasn’t getting into the performance to his satisfaction. This became a bit of a trademark for Snider over the years, and I remember the time I saw Twisted Sister open for Iron Maiden in 1984, he targeted some guy in a white shirt in the back row of the lower deck on the side of Kemper Arena and berated him for the longest time all because he just stood there stoically with his arms folded. Dude, whatever—it’s not your place to tell someone how to party, so why waste the rest of the audience’s time badgering one indifferent person? The guy was probably there to see Maiden anyhow and I thought this was very uncool—what’s up with the schoolyard bully routine? Dee was also known to charge into the crowd and go after any knuckleheads who might have crossed him during the show—with mixed results. But, by his own admission, Snider was such an arrogant fuck at that point, there was no stopping him.
I was a bit disappointed that Snider made no mention of the “Behind The Music” segment in his book, especially something Mark “The Animal” Mendoza said about Snider after the demise of the band in which he didn’t care if Dee was alive or dead at that point, and basically “Good riddance to an asshole.” This coming from a guy who was once Dee’s best friend—pretty strong words. Obviously, they’ve patched up their differences since then, and TS reformed in 2002 and have toured off and on since then.
I find it truly amazing how, given the lifestyle he chose to pursue, Dee Snider has been married to the same woman for 30 years now, and they’ve raised four kids (successfully, evidently) as well. In a truly unorthodox love story, Snider met his future (underage at the time) bride Suzette at a band gig when she was only 15 and he became as obsessed with her as Milburn Drysdale was with Jed Clampett’s millions. She didn’t even really like him all that much at first, but he somehow wooed her and they’ve been an item since the Bicentennial, even though they’ve endured a plethora of ups and downs during that time. I guess maybe there is still such a thing as loyalty and devotion after all. And I gotta give Dee credit, she’s a real hottie (even today), as is their daughter Cheyenne, who looks just like her. As John Hiatt once sang about his own daughter Georgia Rae, “Lucky for you, child, you look like your mama…”
And I’ll be damned, but I can’t believe I never did a proper Twisted Sister blog tribute before now, so without further ado…
MY ALL-TIME (DROP AND GIVE ME) 20 TWISTED SISTER FAVORITES
20) “O, Come All Ye Faithful” (2006) I didn’t even realize until I read the book that “We’re Not Gonna Take It” sounds like the refrain from this yuletide tribute to mass orgasm. Which is why, as George Carlin once pointed out, “they called it ‘Adeste Fidelis’ to cool you out while you were in puberty.”
19) “Don’t Let Me Down” (1984) This one could’ve been a potential hit single, I think, but Atlantic Records was more anxious for the band to record their next album instead of milking more tracks off Stay Hungry.
18) “Leader Of The Pack” (1985) The Shangri-Las’ classic oldie had been a staple of Twisted Sister’s act for years before they hit the big-time. Snider decided to dig it back out for Come Out And Play, an album on which he got delusional and thought it would be cool to bring in guest musicians like Clarence Clemons of the E Street Band to play on. Love the “Big Man” (rest his soul), but saxophones do NOT belong on a Heavy Metal record. Ever! That kitsch-y stuff might work for Meat Loaf, but not Twisted Sister. Anyway, “LOTP” was rather humorous in places.
17) “Yeah Right” (1987) More or less the last word from Twisted Sister the first time ‘round, as it was the final track on the ill-fated Love Is For Suckers album, which was initially intended to be a Dee Snider solo album. At least it still had plenty of middle-finger…
16) “I Want This Night To Last Forever” (1987) Also from Suckers, this song kept going through my head during a romantic night in Las Vegas in 1999 with the only woman I every really loved. It was the first and only time I truly felt like I had the world by the balls and I didn’t want it to end…
15) “You Can’t Stop Rock ‘N’ Roll” (1983) Like most American Metal-heads, this was the first thing I’d ever heard from Twisted Sister and a portent of things to come…
14) “Hot Love” (1987) The band’s final video and the beginning of the end. At this point, they even abandoned the trademark war paint and costumes just like Motley Crue and W.A.S.P. did, and looked like mere mortals in the process. Every time I hear the line “Should I pass/should I play?” I think of the old “Password” game show.
13) “S.M.F.” (1984) Here’s a Casey Kasem long-distance dedication to Jerry Sandusky. S stands for sick. You’re on your own for the rest…
12) “Burn In Hell” (1984) This one gets better every time I hear it. Surprised it didn’t land on some ‘80s horror flick soundtrack because it would’ve fit right in.
11) “Come Out And Play” (1985) Great title and lead-off track to what was otherwise a fairly disappointing follow-up to the mega-hit Stay Hungry. The album did have a couple other hidden gems, though—read on…
10) “I Wanna Rock” (1984) The natural bookend for “We’re Not Gonna Take It”. Oh, boy is this great!
9) “The Price” (1984) “’Cause it’s the price we gotta pay/And all the games we gotta play/Makes me wonder if it’s worth it to carry on…” How many times have I pondered that line over the years…
8) “The Fire Still Burns” (1985) Not to be confused with Roger Daltrey’s “After The Fire (The Fire Still Burns)”, which came out about the same time, this was one of my favorites off Come Out And Play.
7) “Shoot ‘Em Down” (1982) From Under The Blade, Twisted Sister’s first album, which was only available in Europe for the longest time. Another middle-finger salute to anyone who offends you: “Shoot them down with a fucking gun!”
6) “We’re Not Gonna Take It” (1984) This should be the anthem for anyone who is fed up with our current political climate in America. “If that’s your best, your best won’t do…”
5) “Stay Hungry” (1984) More middle-finger. “Don’t be sidetracked or shunted/let pretenders feel your bite…”
4) “Out On The Streets” (1985) The other hidden gem from Come Out And Play, and it reflects my social life and love-life these days: “Searching for something in this human zoo/Kaleidoscope of faces/Maybe, maybe it might be you…Someone listen to my prayers/Can’t help feelin’ no one cares/No one dares…When you’re out on the streets, livin’ on your own…you can’t understand what’s goin’ on…When you’re out on the streets, your heart’s your only home.” Sad, but true…
2) “(Wake Up) The Sleeping Giant” (1987) Lead-off track from LIFS, which I felt took on a whole new meaning in the wake of 9/11. “It’s gotta stop—you know there’s too much at stake…Who the hell are they to say what we can do and how we can play? We got the numbers, we got the right, we got the strength and we’ve got the might…so wake up the sleeping giant.” Unfortunately, the giant was sleepwalking and attacked Iraq instead of those who truly deserved it…
1) “Love Is For Suckers” (1987) Brilliant title and one of my all-time favorite album covers too. “Love—is for dreamers/Love—is for believers/Love—is for looooosers/ LOOOOOOVE—is for SUCKERS!” Ironic coming from a man who’s been married and devoted to the same woman for 30 years, but viewing love as I do through the bitter prism that only three-plus decades of dead-ends, false hopes, disappointments, rejection and total indifference from the opposite sex can bring, I can’t help but agree with Dee’s lyrics sometimes. Wouldn’t you like to be a sucker, too?
[NOTE: I haven’t quite made that leap to embrace Dee’s PMA thing just yet, as you can readily tell!]
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