I'M MELTING!!!
Well, not quite, but damn near! It's hotter than a snake's ass in a wagon rut (thank you, Robin Williams) here in good ol' K.C., and it ain't gonna cool down anytime soon, evidently. Against my better judgment, I mowed my yard this morning before it got too hot, and I nearly drowned in my own perspiration. Since then I've been hanging out in my little 9' x 12' air-conditioned cocoon (my bedroom), and I'm ever so thankful to the dude (or dudette) who discovered freon! Today is also Day One of a week's vacation for me, but I'm not leaving town this time. I chose this week originally because I was planning a big trip to New York, but I pushed that back to next year, and since I already had the time off anyway, I decided to keep it. I might just do the Al Bundy-style vacation instead and spend a couple days camped out in my living room...
METHINKS I DOTH SMELLETH A RAT...
Tickets to the Elton John concert at our new Sprint Center sold out in 90 minutes on Monday. Nothing wrong with that, except that I don't seem to remember there being that high a demand for EJ tickets the last couple times he came to town. Even factoring in that it's opening night for our new arena and all, I can't help but wonder how many of those tickets got snagged up by these ticket broker outfits on the Kansas side for resale (scalping is legal in the Land of Oz) instead of by the average fan with a credit card who logged on to TicketBastard. As Col. Potter on "M*A*S*H" would say, "Beaver biscuits!!"
JOE GARAGIOLA WAS RIGHT...
...when he said "Baseball is a VERY funny game." Take for instance the story of St. Louis Cardinals player Rick Ankiel, who used to pitch for the Redbirds at one time until he struggled with his control to the point where he couldn't find home plate with a Rand McNally road atlas and a decent compass. He threw more wild pitches than strikes, so they sent him to the minors and converted him into an outfielder, and it turns out the boy can hit better than he once pitched. After feasting on Minor League pitching, the Cards called him up this week, and he proceeded to hit a 3-run homer in his first Big League game as an outfielder. He had two more dingers today, too. That's what I love most about baseball—the sheer quirkiness of it sometimes.
THE COOKIE CRUMBLED
While I'm on baseball, tonight is Cookie Rojas Bobblehead Night at Kauffman Stadium. Since the Royals have no current superstar players to promote with bobblehead dolls, they have to reach back to their distant past to find worthy players, and Rojas was the Royals' 2nd baseman near the end of his career in the early '70s before being supplanted by Frank White. Great player, but my memory of Rojas was soured forever by the time my mom took me to get his autograph at a Sears store appearance he made when I was about nine. He was sitting at a table and talking to some guy standing behind him, and when I got to the head of the line, I worked up the nerve to actually speak to him, wishing him good luck in that night's game, etc. He just went on jabbering away with that guy and didn't even acknowledge my existence while he scribbled his name (poorly) on his 8 x 10 photo. I wasn't scarred for life by this or anything, but it feels good all the same to say the following some 34 years later: Fuck you, Cookie—you're a dick!
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #46
"The Sounds Of Silence"—SIMON & GARFUNKEL (1966) "And my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light..." I thought it was "scared" instead of "stabbed". Hey, it was AM radio and I was only four the first time I heard it...
TURN OFF THE HYPE MACHINE, ALREADY!
This obsession the sports media (especially ESPN) has with soccer icon David Beckham is bordering on the absurd now. I watched the game on Thursday where Beckham actually managed to suit up for his first MLS game (mostly because nothing else was on worth watching), and you'd swear it was the Second Coming or something. Wow, he played a whole 21 minutes! And to think some idiots actually played the whole damn game—what were they thinking? Don't get me wrong—I'm a soccer fan, and would love to see the MLS succeed, but they're mortgaging their whole future on one overrated superstar, and I'm telling you they're going to regret this more than they know...
WHAT MIGHT'VE BEEN...
I watched a half-decent flick last night on DVD, the film Bobby from last year, directed by Emilio Estevez, all about the day leading up to the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy in 1968. The movie was a bit slow to develop at first, but it was surprisingly good, overall. Now, I'm hardly a fan of the Kennedys—I like them just about as much as I like those nice Clintons—but one wonders what American history would have been like if RFK had lived. Most assuredly, he would've blown Nixon's doors off in the '68 election, and probably would've been re-elected in '72, thus sparing us from having The Big Dick in the White House. Food for thought, anyway...
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Wednesday, August 8, 2007
The Day After
A MOST APPROPRIATE REACTION
Regular readers are already aware that I was in a quandary about how I would react to Barry Bonds breaking Hank Aaron's career home run record. I had narrowed my choices down to yawning, farting or scratching my balls (or any combination of the three), but I inadvertently came up with an even more ingenious response last night—I slept right through it all! And slept well, I might add. Just an observation here, but ain't it amazing how whenever Bonds hits a home run, the Giants usually lose the game?
Okey fine—Barely Bonds is now officially the home run king, but I still say Hank Aaron is the real home run king. I even had the honor of seeing him hit one of his 755 home runs in person. It was on June 11, 1976 (easy to remember--my 12th birthday) at Royals Stadium during Aaron's final season with the Milwaukee Brewers, and "The Hammer" jacked one into the left field corner seats.
JUST TELL ME WHAT TIME THE GAME STARTS, OK?
The NFL announced that my hero John Mellencamp will perform during the pre-game show at Opening Night next month in Indianapolis, along with Kelly Clarkson and Faith Hill. Yes, I know there's the Indiana connection there and all, but jeez Louise, couldn't they come up with someone better than this simple-minded hillbilly? I'd sooner listen to the vocal stylings of David Letterman. Even Bobby Knight crooning "It's Hard To Be Humble" would be a step in the right direction...
EDITOR'S NOTEIf you're looking for the "Tony's Kansas City" blog link formerly featured on this here blog, I deleted it. I used to think this guy was just a harmless crackpot with far too much time on his hands, but his insulting remarks about Elton John fans (I'm a lifelong fan—if you have problem with that, fuck you, Tony!) and gay people (I'm not one of them, but I have no quarrel with them) revealed him to be just another ignorant bigot, and I refuse to associate my blog with that crap.
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #45
"Miss America"--STYX (1977) Not a lyric here, but it took me about 20 years to catch on that Dennis DeYoung was "borrowing" the "There she is..." bit on the synthesizer throughout the song. I'm a little slow, sometimes...
THIS IS REFRESHING...
Not just the photo, but the fact that the girl in it has actually made something of her life after being a child star and hasn't wound up dead, on skid row or reality TV (same thing), or worse—tabloid fodder like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, et al. Seems that our little Winnie "Super" Cooper from "The Wonder Years" has grown up with her head on straight, and just as I predicted when I first laid eyes on her on that show back in the late '80s, Danica McKellar is an absolute hottie now. Pretty AND smart—what a concept! At the risk of sounding like Tyra Banks—you go, girl!!
Regular readers are already aware that I was in a quandary about how I would react to Barry Bonds breaking Hank Aaron's career home run record. I had narrowed my choices down to yawning, farting or scratching my balls (or any combination of the three), but I inadvertently came up with an even more ingenious response last night—I slept right through it all! And slept well, I might add. Just an observation here, but ain't it amazing how whenever Bonds hits a home run, the Giants usually lose the game?
Okey fine—Barely Bonds is now officially the home run king, but I still say Hank Aaron is the real home run king. I even had the honor of seeing him hit one of his 755 home runs in person. It was on June 11, 1976 (easy to remember--my 12th birthday) at Royals Stadium during Aaron's final season with the Milwaukee Brewers, and "The Hammer" jacked one into the left field corner seats.
JUST TELL ME WHAT TIME THE GAME STARTS, OK?
The NFL announced that my hero John Mellencamp will perform during the pre-game show at Opening Night next month in Indianapolis, along with Kelly Clarkson and Faith Hill. Yes, I know there's the Indiana connection there and all, but jeez Louise, couldn't they come up with someone better than this simple-minded hillbilly? I'd sooner listen to the vocal stylings of David Letterman. Even Bobby Knight crooning "It's Hard To Be Humble" would be a step in the right direction...
EDITOR'S NOTEIf you're looking for the "Tony's Kansas City" blog link formerly featured on this here blog, I deleted it. I used to think this guy was just a harmless crackpot with far too much time on his hands, but his insulting remarks about Elton John fans (I'm a lifelong fan—if you have problem with that, fuck you, Tony!) and gay people (I'm not one of them, but I have no quarrel with them) revealed him to be just another ignorant bigot, and I refuse to associate my blog with that crap.
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #45
"Miss America"--STYX (1977) Not a lyric here, but it took me about 20 years to catch on that Dennis DeYoung was "borrowing" the "There she is..." bit on the synthesizer throughout the song. I'm a little slow, sometimes...
THIS IS REFRESHING...
Not just the photo, but the fact that the girl in it has actually made something of her life after being a child star and hasn't wound up dead, on skid row or reality TV (same thing), or worse—tabloid fodder like Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, et al. Seems that our little Winnie "Super" Cooper from "The Wonder Years" has grown up with her head on straight, and just as I predicted when I first laid eyes on her on that show back in the late '80s, Danica McKellar is an absolute hottie now. Pretty AND smart—what a concept! At the risk of sounding like Tyra Banks—you go, girl!!
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Crossing The T's--Part II
LATHER, RINSE, RE-PETE
Pete Townshend’s solo career has been a tad frustrating to me—seems like he‘s always out to try and top Quadrophenia and Tommy with these half-baked Rock operas like The Iron Man and Psychoderelict (and The Who‘s Endless Wire), and they always wind up being big disappointments. I wish Pete would just do an album of songs now and then about whatever’s on his mind at the time—I’m tired of all this lofty artsy-fartsy stuff. I much prefer more topical songs from Pete like the title track from Empty Glass (“I stand with my guitar—all I need’s a mirror, and I’m a star…”), “A Little Is Enough" (“Common sense would tell me not to try and continue…“), “Jools And Jim” (“They don’t give a shit Keith Moon is dead—is that exactly what I thought I read?...Morality ain’t measured in a room he wrecked…”) and “Slit Skirts" (“No one respects the flame quite like the fool who’s badly burned…/Have to be so drunk to try a new dance…/Can’t pretend that growing older never hurts…”).
My All-Time Pete Townshend solo Top 10:
1) “Gonna Get Ya” (1980)
2) “Slit Skirts” (1982)
3) “White City Fighting” (1985)
4) “Jools And Jim” (1980)
5) “Empty Glass” (1980)
6) “Rough Boys” (1980)
7) “Face The Face” (1985)
8) “A Little Is Enough” (1980)
9) “Give Blood” (1985)
10) “Heart To Hang On To” (1977-w/Ronnie Lane)
OH, THOSE PESKY WILBURYS!
It’s a damn shame they only made two albums, because this was some fun stuff! Jeff Lynne, George Harrison, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan and Roy Orbison secretly put out the wonderful Vol. 1 in 1988, and just as Roy’s career was experiencing a major upturn, he died of a heart attack. There was no replacement for Roy on 1991’s Vol. 3 (Vol. 2 doesn't exist), but wouldn’t Carl Perkins have made a great Wilbury? Or maybe Dave Edmunds? I heard they’ve recently repackaged the two Wilbury CDs, adding some bonus tracks and a new DVD of their videos and such. Sounds dandy to me.
My All-Time Traveling Wilburys Top 10:
1) “The Wilbury Twist” (1991)
2) “Poor House” (1991)
3) “Handle With Care” (1988)
4) “End Of The Line” (1988)
5) “Cool Dry Place” (1991)
6) “Dirty World” (1988)
7) “She’s My Baby” (1991)
8) “The Devil’s Been Busy” (1991)
9) “Heading For The Light” (1988)
10) “Rattled” (1988)
TRULY TRIUMPHANT?
Canada’s Triumph got off on the wrong foot with me in the late ‘70s, and it took them a while to finally win me over. These Rush wanna-be’s had the audacity to pretty much rip off Kiss’ stage show—apart from the fire-breathing, make-up and blood-spitting, anyway. Their breakout hit “Hold On” was about all you heard on Rock radio in the summer of ’79—along with Billy Thorpe’s “Children Of The Sun” and fellow-Canuck Pat Travers‘ “Boom Boom (Out Go The Lights)”—and it wore thin on me real quick. As time wore on, I learned to tolerate them a bit, as the song “Magic Power” caught my attention, as well as “I Live For The Weekend”. Like .38 Special, they were a good-but-not-great band, and ironically I saw both those bands as opening acts at the same concert at Arrowhead in ‘81, on the bill with Loverboy and Foreigner.
My All-Time Triumph Top Five:
1) “I Live For The Weekend” (1980)
2) “Magic Power” (1981)
3) “A World of Fantasy” (1983)
4) “Lay It On The Line” (1979)
5) “Spellbound” (1984)
TOTALLY TUBULAR, DUDES!
The Tubes were notorious for their borderline-porn live stage act in the ‘70s, during which lead singer Fee Waybill (born John Waldo) would become his alter-ego “Quay Lewd”, sort of a poor man’s Ziggy Stardust, if there is such a thing! The band toned things down for 1981’s Completion Backward Principle album, and people started taking them seriously. “Talk To Ya Later” was a great track, and “Don’t Wanna Wait Anymore” is one of my favorite power ballads of all-time. They had an even bigger hit with 1983’s “She’s A Beauty”, but in 1986 the album Love Bomb lived up to its title (in spite of a great single “Piece By Piece”), and The Tubes went down their own name. [Sorry, bad puns...]
My All-Time Tubes Top 5:
1) “Piece By Piece” (1986)
2) “Don’t Wanna Wait Anymore” (1981)
3) “Talk To Ya Later” (1981)
4) “Sushi Girl” (1981)
5) “She’s A Beauty” (1983)
WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO WITH YOUR LIFE?!?
What is that? A Twisted Sister CD? In my CD player? Damn right, Mr. Niedermeyer! I have a soft spot for these guys, even though they were more cartoonish and campy than a serious Rock band. Dee Snider is a charismatic dude (even if he didn’t always dress like a dude at times!), and TS made some of the funniest music videos ever. And I must be the only person in the world who loved their final album, 1987’s Love Is For Suckers. Bloody hell—that thing couldn’t possibly be 20 years old already, could it?!?
My All-Time Twisted Sister Top 10:
1) “Love Is For Suckers” (1987)
2) “Wake Up (The Sleeping Giant)” (1987)
3) “We’re Not Gonna Take It” (1984)
4) “Tonight” (1987)
5) “Out On The Streets” (1985)
6) “I Wanna Rock” (1984)
7) “You Can’t Stop Rock ‘N’ Roll” (1983)
8) “Shoot ‘Em Down” (1981)
9) “Stay Hungry” (1984)
10) “The Fire Still Burns” (1985)
Pete Townshend’s solo career has been a tad frustrating to me—seems like he‘s always out to try and top Quadrophenia and Tommy with these half-baked Rock operas like The Iron Man and Psychoderelict (and The Who‘s Endless Wire), and they always wind up being big disappointments. I wish Pete would just do an album of songs now and then about whatever’s on his mind at the time—I’m tired of all this lofty artsy-fartsy stuff. I much prefer more topical songs from Pete like the title track from Empty Glass (“I stand with my guitar—all I need’s a mirror, and I’m a star…”), “A Little Is Enough" (“Common sense would tell me not to try and continue…“), “Jools And Jim” (“They don’t give a shit Keith Moon is dead—is that exactly what I thought I read?...Morality ain’t measured in a room he wrecked…”) and “Slit Skirts" (“No one respects the flame quite like the fool who’s badly burned…/Have to be so drunk to try a new dance…/Can’t pretend that growing older never hurts…”).My All-Time Pete Townshend solo Top 10:
1) “Gonna Get Ya” (1980)
2) “Slit Skirts” (1982)
3) “White City Fighting” (1985)
4) “Jools And Jim” (1980)
5) “Empty Glass” (1980)
6) “Rough Boys” (1980)
7) “Face The Face” (1985)
8) “A Little Is Enough” (1980)
9) “Give Blood” (1985)
10) “Heart To Hang On To” (1977-w/Ronnie Lane)
OH, THOSE PESKY WILBURYS!
It’s a damn shame they only made two albums, because this was some fun stuff! Jeff Lynne, George Harrison, Tom Petty, Bob Dylan and Roy Orbison secretly put out the wonderful Vol. 1 in 1988, and just as Roy’s career was experiencing a major upturn, he died of a heart attack. There was no replacement for Roy on 1991’s Vol. 3 (Vol. 2 doesn't exist), but wouldn’t Carl Perkins have made a great Wilbury? Or maybe Dave Edmunds? I heard they’ve recently repackaged the two Wilbury CDs, adding some bonus tracks and a new DVD of their videos and such. Sounds dandy to me.My All-Time Traveling Wilburys Top 10:
1) “The Wilbury Twist” (1991)
2) “Poor House” (1991)
3) “Handle With Care” (1988)
4) “End Of The Line” (1988)
5) “Cool Dry Place” (1991)
6) “Dirty World” (1988)
7) “She’s My Baby” (1991)
8) “The Devil’s Been Busy” (1991)
9) “Heading For The Light” (1988)
10) “Rattled” (1988)
TRULY TRIUMPHANT?
Canada’s Triumph got off on the wrong foot with me in the late ‘70s, and it took them a while to finally win me over. These Rush wanna-be’s had the audacity to pretty much rip off Kiss’ stage show—apart from the fire-breathing, make-up and blood-spitting, anyway. Their breakout hit “Hold On” was about all you heard on Rock radio in the summer of ’79—along with Billy Thorpe’s “Children Of The Sun” and fellow-Canuck Pat Travers‘ “Boom Boom (Out Go The Lights)”—and it wore thin on me real quick. As time wore on, I learned to tolerate them a bit, as the song “Magic Power” caught my attention, as well as “I Live For The Weekend”. Like .38 Special, they were a good-but-not-great band, and ironically I saw both those bands as opening acts at the same concert at Arrowhead in ‘81, on the bill with Loverboy and Foreigner.My All-Time Triumph Top Five:
1) “I Live For The Weekend” (1980)
2) “Magic Power” (1981)
3) “A World of Fantasy” (1983)
4) “Lay It On The Line” (1979)
5) “Spellbound” (1984)
TOTALLY TUBULAR, DUDES!
The Tubes were notorious for their borderline-porn live stage act in the ‘70s, during which lead singer Fee Waybill (born John Waldo) would become his alter-ego “Quay Lewd”, sort of a poor man’s Ziggy Stardust, if there is such a thing! The band toned things down for 1981’s Completion Backward Principle album, and people started taking them seriously. “Talk To Ya Later” was a great track, and “Don’t Wanna Wait Anymore” is one of my favorite power ballads of all-time. They had an even bigger hit with 1983’s “She’s A Beauty”, but in 1986 the album Love Bomb lived up to its title (in spite of a great single “Piece By Piece”), and The Tubes went down their own name. [Sorry, bad puns...]My All-Time Tubes Top 5:
1) “Piece By Piece” (1986)
2) “Don’t Wanna Wait Anymore” (1981)
3) “Talk To Ya Later” (1981)
4) “Sushi Girl” (1981)
5) “She’s A Beauty” (1983)
WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO WITH YOUR LIFE?!?
What is that? A Twisted Sister CD? In my CD player? Damn right, Mr. Niedermeyer! I have a soft spot for these guys, even though they were more cartoonish and campy than a serious Rock band. Dee Snider is a charismatic dude (even if he didn’t always dress like a dude at times!), and TS made some of the funniest music videos ever. And I must be the only person in the world who loved their final album, 1987’s Love Is For Suckers. Bloody hell—that thing couldn’t possibly be 20 years old already, could it?!?My All-Time Twisted Sister Top 10:
1) “Love Is For Suckers” (1987)
2) “Wake Up (The Sleeping Giant)” (1987)
3) “We’re Not Gonna Take It” (1984)
4) “Tonight” (1987)
5) “Out On The Streets” (1985)
6) “I Wanna Rock” (1984)
7) “You Can’t Stop Rock ‘N’ Roll” (1983)
8) “Shoot ‘Em Down” (1981)
9) “Stay Hungry” (1984)
10) “The Fire Still Burns” (1985)
Crossing The T's--Part I
SAME AS IT EVER WAS…
It took the Talking Heads years to really grow on me, and I still think they are way overrated overall, but they did have their moments now and then. David Byrne is a rather strange duck, as evidenced by his videos, but at least he doesn’t take himself too seriously. I’m not convinced that this band deserves to be in the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame, though.
My All-Time Talking Heads Top 5:
1) “Life During Wartime” (Live-1984)
2) “Love For Sale” (1986)
3) “Take Me To The River” (1979)
4) “Once In A Lifetime” (1980)
5) “Road To Nowhere” (1985)
WELL, ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?
.38 Special is one of those good-but-not-great bands that was always an opening act but not a headliner (a la Loverboy, Ratt, Warrant, etc.). These guys weren’t bad live, but I’ve always questioned why they needed Donnie Van Zant in the band, apart from his surname. Guitarist Don Barnes sang the lead vocals on all their big hits while Donnie jacked-off on-stage pretending to play third guitar (watch their live videos—it‘s pretty obvious he’s faking it). Jeff Carlisi wasn’t too shabby a lead guitarist, though.
My All-Time .38 Special Top 5
1) “Chain Lightning” (1982)
2) “Rockin’ Into The Night” (1980)
3) “Teacher Teacher” (1984)
4) “Fantasy Girl” (1981)
5) “Back To Paradise” (1987)
LONESOME GEORGE DOES UNNASTAND!
Sometimes one wants filet mignon for dinner, and sometimes one wants a big greasy sloppy cheeseburger. Well, if Led Zeppelin is Rock ‘N’ Roll filet mignon, then George Thorogood & The (Delaware) Destroyers are a Town Topic double cheeseburger! I was instantly hooked when I first heard “Move It On Over” in 1978—a welcome respite from all the disco being played at the time—and George’s takes on other people’s songs (especially Chuck Berry’s) are always wonderfully raw and once in a while he comes up with good original stuff too, like “Bad To The Bone” and “Get A Haircut”. His longtime drummer Jeff Simon is a very underrated timekeeper too. Quite possibly the best bar band ever, Lonesome George and the boys are like a runaway freight train when they kick it into gear live. Sometimes raw and sloppy is (Thoro) good!
My All-Time George Thorogood Top 10:
1) “It Wasn’t Me” (1978)
2) “Move It On Over” (1978)
3) “(Let’s) Go Go Go” (1985)
4) “Long Gone” (1985)
5) “Bad To The Bone” (1982)
6) “You Talk Too Much” (1988)
7) “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer” (1977)
8) “I Really Like Girls” (1988)
9) “Cocaine Blues” (1978)
10) “Get A Haircut” (1993)
HARD TO BE EASY
Three Dog Night had one helluva chart run in the early ‘70s, and there was about a three-year stretch from 1970-72 where everything they touched turned to gold, and I clearly remember how “Joy To The World“ was just about all you heard on AM radio for three solid months in the summer of ‘71. TDN did very little original material of their own, but they were one of those groups who were lucky enough to have great material written for them by the likes of Paul Williams (aka Little Enos Burdett), Randy Newman, B.W. Stevenson, and even John Hiatt, among others. Too bad singer Chuck Negron pissed most of the group’s success away with his heroin addiction—by the Bicentennial they were already has-beens.
My All-Time Three Dog Night Top 10:
1) “An Old-Fashioned Love Song” (1971)
2) “Liar” (1971)
3) “Celebrate” (1970)
4) “One” (1969)
5) “Out In The Country” (1970)
6) “Shambala” (1973)
7) “Never Been To Spain” (1972)
8) “One Man Band” (1970)
9) “Family Of Man” (1972)
10) “Mama Told Me (Not To Come)” (1970)
ON SUNDAY, MAYBE MONDAY OR ‘TIL TUESDAY—ANY OL’ DAY WILL DO!
Singer Aimee Mann must have had a thing for days of the week, judging by her song titles and band name. ‘Til Tuesday is one of those bands comprised of three guys and a girl, and guess who everyone focused on! Actually, one of the guys did look like a girl, but it was obvious from the start that Aimee Mann was the focal point, and she became a solo artist after three albums with the band. Mann’s recent solo albums have been critically acclaimed (which probably means they suck), and she’s quick to diss the ‘Til Tuesday material now, which is a shame because that first album and about half of the second one were pretty good stuff. The girl still has very sexy eyes, too.
My all-time ‘Til Tuesday Top 10
1) “On Sunday” (1986)
2) “No More Crying” (1985)
3) “Maybe Monday” (1985)
4) “Winning The War” (1985)
5) “Coming Up Close” (1986)
6) “Voices Carry” (1985)
7) “(Believed You Were) Lucky” (1989)
8) “What About Love” (1986)
9) “Love In A Vacuum” (1985)
10) “The Other End Of The Telescope” (1989)
It took the Talking Heads years to really grow on me, and I still think they are way overrated overall, but they did have their moments now and then. David Byrne is a rather strange duck, as evidenced by his videos, but at least he doesn’t take himself too seriously. I’m not convinced that this band deserves to be in the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame, though.My All-Time Talking Heads Top 5:
1) “Life During Wartime” (Live-1984)
2) “Love For Sale” (1986)
3) “Take Me To The River” (1979)
4) “Once In A Lifetime” (1980)
5) “Road To Nowhere” (1985)
WELL, ISN’T THAT SPECIAL?
.38 Special is one of those good-but-not-great bands that was always an opening act but not a headliner (a la Loverboy, Ratt, Warrant, etc.). These guys weren’t bad live, but I’ve always questioned why they needed Donnie Van Zant in the band, apart from his surname. Guitarist Don Barnes sang the lead vocals on all their big hits while Donnie jacked-off on-stage pretending to play third guitar (watch their live videos—it‘s pretty obvious he’s faking it). Jeff Carlisi wasn’t too shabby a lead guitarist, though.My All-Time .38 Special Top 5
1) “Chain Lightning” (1982)
2) “Rockin’ Into The Night” (1980)
3) “Teacher Teacher” (1984)
4) “Fantasy Girl” (1981)
5) “Back To Paradise” (1987)
LONESOME GEORGE DOES UNNASTAND!
Sometimes one wants filet mignon for dinner, and sometimes one wants a big greasy sloppy cheeseburger. Well, if Led Zeppelin is Rock ‘N’ Roll filet mignon, then George Thorogood & The (Delaware) Destroyers are a Town Topic double cheeseburger! I was instantly hooked when I first heard “Move It On Over” in 1978—a welcome respite from all the disco being played at the time—and George’s takes on other people’s songs (especially Chuck Berry’s) are always wonderfully raw and once in a while he comes up with good original stuff too, like “Bad To The Bone” and “Get A Haircut”. His longtime drummer Jeff Simon is a very underrated timekeeper too. Quite possibly the best bar band ever, Lonesome George and the boys are like a runaway freight train when they kick it into gear live. Sometimes raw and sloppy is (Thoro) good!My All-Time George Thorogood Top 10:
1) “It Wasn’t Me” (1978)
2) “Move It On Over” (1978)
3) “(Let’s) Go Go Go” (1985)
4) “Long Gone” (1985)
5) “Bad To The Bone” (1982)
6) “You Talk Too Much” (1988)
7) “One Bourbon, One Scotch, One Beer” (1977)
8) “I Really Like Girls” (1988)
9) “Cocaine Blues” (1978)
10) “Get A Haircut” (1993)
HARD TO BE EASY
Three Dog Night had one helluva chart run in the early ‘70s, and there was about a three-year stretch from 1970-72 where everything they touched turned to gold, and I clearly remember how “Joy To The World“ was just about all you heard on AM radio for three solid months in the summer of ‘71. TDN did very little original material of their own, but they were one of those groups who were lucky enough to have great material written for them by the likes of Paul Williams (aka Little Enos Burdett), Randy Newman, B.W. Stevenson, and even John Hiatt, among others. Too bad singer Chuck Negron pissed most of the group’s success away with his heroin addiction—by the Bicentennial they were already has-beens.My All-Time Three Dog Night Top 10:
1) “An Old-Fashioned Love Song” (1971)
2) “Liar” (1971)
3) “Celebrate” (1970)
4) “One” (1969)
5) “Out In The Country” (1970)
6) “Shambala” (1973)
7) “Never Been To Spain” (1972)
8) “One Man Band” (1970)
9) “Family Of Man” (1972)
10) “Mama Told Me (Not To Come)” (1970)
ON SUNDAY, MAYBE MONDAY OR ‘TIL TUESDAY—ANY OL’ DAY WILL DO!
Singer Aimee Mann must have had a thing for days of the week, judging by her song titles and band name. ‘Til Tuesday is one of those bands comprised of three guys and a girl, and guess who everyone focused on! Actually, one of the guys did look like a girl, but it was obvious from the start that Aimee Mann was the focal point, and she became a solo artist after three albums with the band. Mann’s recent solo albums have been critically acclaimed (which probably means they suck), and she’s quick to diss the ‘Til Tuesday material now, which is a shame because that first album and about half of the second one were pretty good stuff. The girl still has very sexy eyes, too.My all-time ‘Til Tuesday Top 10
1) “On Sunday” (1986)
2) “No More Crying” (1985)
3) “Maybe Monday” (1985)
4) “Winning The War” (1985)
5) “Coming Up Close” (1986)
6) “Voices Carry” (1985)
7) “(Believed You Were) Lucky” (1989)
8) “What About Love” (1986)
9) “Love In A Vacuum” (1985)
10) “The Other End Of The Telescope” (1989)
Thursday, August 2, 2007
"Cool is the rule, but sometimes bad is bad..."
OH YEAH, HE'S WORTH ALL THAT MONEY, ALRIGHT...
Let's hear it for Roger Clemens and his stellar performance today for the Yankees: the fucker didn't even get out of the second inning (against the lowly White Sox, no less), giving up nine hits and eight runs in 1.2 innings. Okay, only three of those eight runs were earned, but still, this douchebag is supposed to be George Steinbrenner and the Yankees' personal savior.
IN MY ROOM
After a cooler-than-normal July here in K.C. (attention, all you global warming crazies!), August has started off muckin' fuggy here. Therefore, I decided to take a proactive stance instead of suffering in the beastly heat by moving my computer and big TV into my 9' x 12' bedroom to take advantage of the meat locker-like conditions provided by my mighty little window unit air conditioner, since my central air is just about worthless when it gets above 85 degrees. It's a little cramped in here, but I'll manage. I always do...
EVERY MOTORIST'S WORST NIGHTMARE...
Unbelievable scenes from the Twin Cities last night. Here's actual footage of the bridge collapsing taken from a security camera. Oddly enough, I've never driven on that bridge, even though I've visited the Twin Cities three times in the last five years. What's really scary is there are probably lots of other older bridges just waiting to do the same thing. Considering the time of day it happened, I'm amazed that the carnage wasn't worse than it was. Sad, very sad...
SOULSVILLE REDUX
Nice documentary last night on PBS on the rise and fall of Stax Records. Their story is even more interesting than that of Motown Records, and probably would make for a great mini-series on TV, if they ever decide to make one. Again, I highly recommend a visit to 926 E. McLemore Avenue in Memphis to the Stax museum, if you're ever down that way—it's quite fascinating. To paraphrase Mick Jagger: don't mind the maggots (on your way there)...
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #44
"All Along The Watchtower"--JIMI HENDRIX EXPERIENCE (1968) "Businessman drink my wine/Plowmen dig my earth..." I thought Jimi was inviting us to "Come and dig my earth."
DEM BONES, DEM BONES...
I took my mom out to watch our mighty Kansas City T-Bones minor league beisbol team play on Tuesday night over on the Kansas side out by the Kansas Speedway. We're talking minor minor league baseball, but it's surprisingly entertaining anyway, in spite of the fact that some of the players are in worse physical shape than yours truly. Sadly, with minor league players, you also get minor league umpires, and the bozo who worked home plate must have worked for FEMA at some point, based on the bizarre calls he made. Luckily, the T-Bones prevailed despite of this yahoo's efforts, and the game was most enjoyable thanks in large part to
the guy on the right in this here photo. Talk about your dream jobs—I sure wouldn't mind travelling the country from ballpark to ballpark and spending a couple hours jacking off in a chicken suit (at $10,000 a show—right!), and yet no one would know what I looked like and no one would bother me in real life, kinda like how a certain band that wore make-up operated in the '70s...
Let's hear it for Roger Clemens and his stellar performance today for the Yankees: the fucker didn't even get out of the second inning (against the lowly White Sox, no less), giving up nine hits and eight runs in 1.2 innings. Okay, only three of those eight runs were earned, but still, this douchebag is supposed to be George Steinbrenner and the Yankees' personal savior.
IN MY ROOM
After a cooler-than-normal July here in K.C. (attention, all you global warming crazies!), August has started off muckin' fuggy here. Therefore, I decided to take a proactive stance instead of suffering in the beastly heat by moving my computer and big TV into my 9' x 12' bedroom to take advantage of the meat locker-like conditions provided by my mighty little window unit air conditioner, since my central air is just about worthless when it gets above 85 degrees. It's a little cramped in here, but I'll manage. I always do...
EVERY MOTORIST'S WORST NIGHTMARE...
Unbelievable scenes from the Twin Cities last night. Here's actual footage of the bridge collapsing taken from a security camera. Oddly enough, I've never driven on that bridge, even though I've visited the Twin Cities three times in the last five years. What's really scary is there are probably lots of other older bridges just waiting to do the same thing. Considering the time of day it happened, I'm amazed that the carnage wasn't worse than it was. Sad, very sad...SOULSVILLE REDUX
Nice documentary last night on PBS on the rise and fall of Stax Records. Their story is even more interesting than that of Motown Records, and probably would make for a great mini-series on TV, if they ever decide to make one. Again, I highly recommend a visit to 926 E. McLemore Avenue in Memphis to the Stax museum, if you're ever down that way—it's quite fascinating. To paraphrase Mick Jagger: don't mind the maggots (on your way there)...
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #44
"All Along The Watchtower"--JIMI HENDRIX EXPERIENCE (1968) "Businessman drink my wine/Plowmen dig my earth..." I thought Jimi was inviting us to "Come and dig my earth."
DEM BONES, DEM BONES...
I took my mom out to watch our mighty Kansas City T-Bones minor league beisbol team play on Tuesday night over on the Kansas side out by the Kansas Speedway. We're talking minor minor league baseball, but it's surprisingly entertaining anyway, in spite of the fact that some of the players are in worse physical shape than yours truly. Sadly, with minor league players, you also get minor league umpires, and the bozo who worked home plate must have worked for FEMA at some point, based on the bizarre calls he made. Luckily, the T-Bones prevailed despite of this yahoo's efforts, and the game was most enjoyable thanks in large part to
the guy on the right in this here photo. Talk about your dream jobs—I sure wouldn't mind travelling the country from ballpark to ballpark and spending a couple hours jacking off in a chicken suit (at $10,000 a show—right!), and yet no one would know what I looked like and no one would bother me in real life, kinda like how a certain band that wore make-up operated in the '70s...
Monday, July 30, 2007
Monday evening comin' down
TOM SNYDER, 1936-2007
Sad news today with the passing legendary late-night talk show host Tom Snyder at age 71 of leukemia. Yes, he was skewered by Dan Aykroyd's mimicry of him on "Saturday Night Live", and yes, he was a tad pompous at times, but Tom was positively humble compared with today's self-important ratings whores like Bill O'Reilly. More importantly, Tom's shows were ultra-cool and most enjoyable.
I remember staying up late on many a summer (i.e., non-school) night from about age 12 onward and watching the "Tomorrow Show" after Johnny Carson called it a night, and I thought it made me more "grown-up" by watching Tom's show. I didn't know who half his guests were sometimes—I had never heard of actor David Niven, for instance, before seeing him on "Tomorrow", but came away thinking how smooth and debonair the man was—and I found Tom's relaxed demeanor and easy banter with those guests very appealing. Then again, there was one particular "Tomorrow Show" I missed in its first run, but I damn sure knew who the guests were, as Tom conducted the infamous Halloween, 1979 Kiss interview where Ace "I'm a plumber" Frehley was totally crocked, thus pissing Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley off no end, but Tom seemed to love it. The Kiss interview will also be featured on the new Kissology-Volume II DVD due out August 14th. Tom also had the balls to interview John Lennon, Elvis Costello and Johnny Rotten (for whatever that was worth).
Tom later hosted his own radio show in the late '80s, which I occasionally got to run the board for during my brief stint at KKJO in St. Joseph, MO circa 1988-89. Unlike his direct competition at the time, Larry King, T.S. was actually friendly to his callers (none of that "Alexandria, Virginia--HELLO!!" crap), and I always prayed for the St. Louis Cardinals games to run long so I could run the entire Snyder show on tape-delay during the first part of my Midnight-6AM airshift just so I could listen to the whole broadcast. I also remember Tom had this nutbag who would call the show and when he got on the air would start playing his harmonica instead of talking. T.S. finally caught on to his pattern of using fake names like "Tony from Orlando", "John from Denver", "Jack from London" and "Christopher from Columbus", etc., and once actually predicted it was him calling based on the name he gave before he answered. Funny stuff.
So long, Tom--it was good to know ya (in a roundabout way)...
BILL WALSH, 1931-2007
More sad news today with the passing of former San Francisco 49ers head coach Bill Walsh, ironically also following a battle with leukemia. Walsh led the Niners to three Super Bowl titles in the '80s, and is credited as the innovator of the "West Coast Offense". Walsh is one of those coaches who was a brilliant tactician (not unlike current coaches like Denver's Mike Shanahan and New England's Bill Belichick) who often used strategy to outwit his opponent. Of course, it didn't hurt to have the likes of Joe Montana, Jerry Rice and Ronnie Lott, et al, on his squads too. R.I.P., Bill...
THERE GOES MR. EISEN'S PERFECT ATTENDANCE RECORD...
For the first time ever in Kisstory, guitarist Paul Stanley was unable to answer the bell for a Kiss concert and did not perform at the band's show in San Jacinto, CA on Friday night. Paul apparently fell ill the night before at a sound check, and his heart rate leapt to 190 BPM—not a good thing! So, at his insistence, and apparently with the approval of the assembled fans at the venue, Kiss played a full concert as a three-piece for the first time, as Gene Simmons, Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer played a set loaded with songs featuring Gene and/or Eric on vocals. What's ironic about all this is that the Starchild is the one who generally takes the best care of himself. Sounds like the boy is doing better now, and all is well again, thankfully.
This was not, however, the first time Kiss performed as a trio. Back in 1982, Paul, Gene and late drummer Eric Carr did a rather bizarre one-song lip-synch gig (at the dying Studio 54 in New York, no less) for the song "I" from Music From The Elder when Ace was about to leave the band anyway, and he basically said, "Fuck it—I'm not coming!" They also substituted "guts" for "balls" in the lyrics. It was a strange time for the band, indeed...
I once attended a Kiss concert where—for all intents and purposes—Paul Stanley also wasn't there. It was at Civic Arena in St. Joseph on November 10, 1992 on the Revenge tour, as Stanley was suffering from the flu, and almost from the get-go, I could tell there was something wrong with him. He lethargically sang the opening number "Creatures Of The Night", in a very low register, and hardly even moved around at all, as per his usual. Then they reeled off about four or five Gene Simmons songs in a row, and when it came time to do "Heaven's On Fire", Paul announced that he wasn't feeling well and that Gene would sing it. It was rather humorous to hear Mr. Demon bullshit his way through the lyrics, until he finally threw up his hands and said, "Hell, I don't know the words to this one!" It was an admirable effort, and I give Stanley credit for playing hurt that night, but it was like watching Dale, Jr. driving on three wheels at Daytona, and I would've had more respect for Kiss if they had postponed the show and returned when Paul was better. As it was, they wound up cancelling the next two shows on that abbreviated tour after St. Joseph.
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #43
"Feel Like A Number"—BOB SEGER & THE SILVER BULLET BAND (1976) "I feel just like another spoke in a great big wheel..." I always thought he said, "Smokin' a great big weed." As I've said before, Mr. Seger: confounded, man—enunciate!
WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND...
I was rather pleased to read today that the lowlife who murdered "My Sister Sam" actress Rebecca Schaffer in 1989 was himself attacked by a fellow prison inmate and stabbed numerous times. If you've ever seen this scumbag's taped confession of how he killed her, you'll agree that he deserves to be attacked a lot more often...
THE URBAN LEGEND IS TRUE!
Was also tickled to hear newly-inducted Baseball Hall of Fame Royals announcer Denny Matthews confirm during his speech yesterday that the Guy's Foods promo he read on the air during a game in 1970 did indeed go, "Fans, while you're in the store, be sure to grab Guy's nuts." Young Dennis thought his career was toast at that moment, but little did he know it was just the beginning, and 37 years later, the man is still going strong. Congrats again, Denny!
SANITY REIGNS, AFTER ALL...
Evidently fallen St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock's father has had a change of heart and has decided not to wage a legal battle against Mike Shannon's Steakhouse restaurant for serving Josh the alky-hol that he so fervently requested on the night he went out driving drunk off his ass and killed himself. Nice to see that the elder Mr. Hancock came to his senses, especially in light of the fact that Mr. Shannon is now grieving the loss of his wife of 48 years, Judy Shannon, to brain cancer.
Sad news today with the passing legendary late-night talk show host Tom Snyder at age 71 of leukemia. Yes, he was skewered by Dan Aykroyd's mimicry of him on "Saturday Night Live", and yes, he was a tad pompous at times, but Tom was positively humble compared with today's self-important ratings whores like Bill O'Reilly. More importantly, Tom's shows were ultra-cool and most enjoyable.I remember staying up late on many a summer (i.e., non-school) night from about age 12 onward and watching the "Tomorrow Show" after Johnny Carson called it a night, and I thought it made me more "grown-up" by watching Tom's show. I didn't know who half his guests were sometimes—I had never heard of actor David Niven, for instance, before seeing him on "Tomorrow", but came away thinking how smooth and debonair the man was—and I found Tom's relaxed demeanor and easy banter with those guests very appealing. Then again, there was one particular "Tomorrow Show" I missed in its first run, but I damn sure knew who the guests were, as Tom conducted the infamous Halloween, 1979 Kiss interview where Ace "I'm a plumber" Frehley was totally crocked, thus pissing Gene Simmons and Paul Stanley off no end, but Tom seemed to love it. The Kiss interview will also be featured on the new Kissology-Volume II DVD due out August 14th. Tom also had the balls to interview John Lennon, Elvis Costello and Johnny Rotten (for whatever that was worth).
Tom later hosted his own radio show in the late '80s, which I occasionally got to run the board for during my brief stint at KKJO in St. Joseph, MO circa 1988-89. Unlike his direct competition at the time, Larry King, T.S. was actually friendly to his callers (none of that "Alexandria, Virginia--HELLO!!" crap), and I always prayed for the St. Louis Cardinals games to run long so I could run the entire Snyder show on tape-delay during the first part of my Midnight-6AM airshift just so I could listen to the whole broadcast. I also remember Tom had this nutbag who would call the show and when he got on the air would start playing his harmonica instead of talking. T.S. finally caught on to his pattern of using fake names like "Tony from Orlando", "John from Denver", "Jack from London" and "Christopher from Columbus", etc., and once actually predicted it was him calling based on the name he gave before he answered. Funny stuff.
So long, Tom--it was good to know ya (in a roundabout way)...
BILL WALSH, 1931-2007
More sad news today with the passing of former San Francisco 49ers head coach Bill Walsh, ironically also following a battle with leukemia. Walsh led the Niners to three Super Bowl titles in the '80s, and is credited as the innovator of the "West Coast Offense". Walsh is one of those coaches who was a brilliant tactician (not unlike current coaches like Denver's Mike Shanahan and New England's Bill Belichick) who often used strategy to outwit his opponent. Of course, it didn't hurt to have the likes of Joe Montana, Jerry Rice and Ronnie Lott, et al, on his squads too. R.I.P., Bill...
THERE GOES MR. EISEN'S PERFECT ATTENDANCE RECORD...
For the first time ever in Kisstory, guitarist Paul Stanley was unable to answer the bell for a Kiss concert and did not perform at the band's show in San Jacinto, CA on Friday night. Paul apparently fell ill the night before at a sound check, and his heart rate leapt to 190 BPM—not a good thing! So, at his insistence, and apparently with the approval of the assembled fans at the venue, Kiss played a full concert as a three-piece for the first time, as Gene Simmons, Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer played a set loaded with songs featuring Gene and/or Eric on vocals. What's ironic about all this is that the Starchild is the one who generally takes the best care of himself. Sounds like the boy is doing better now, and all is well again, thankfully.
This was not, however, the first time Kiss performed as a trio. Back in 1982, Paul, Gene and late drummer Eric Carr did a rather bizarre one-song lip-synch gig (at the dying Studio 54 in New York, no less) for the song "I" from Music From The Elder when Ace was about to leave the band anyway, and he basically said, "Fuck it—I'm not coming!" They also substituted "guts" for "balls" in the lyrics. It was a strange time for the band, indeed...
I once attended a Kiss concert where—for all intents and purposes—Paul Stanley also wasn't there. It was at Civic Arena in St. Joseph on November 10, 1992 on the Revenge tour, as Stanley was suffering from the flu, and almost from the get-go, I could tell there was something wrong with him. He lethargically sang the opening number "Creatures Of The Night", in a very low register, and hardly even moved around at all, as per his usual. Then they reeled off about four or five Gene Simmons songs in a row, and when it came time to do "Heaven's On Fire", Paul announced that he wasn't feeling well and that Gene would sing it. It was rather humorous to hear Mr. Demon bullshit his way through the lyrics, until he finally threw up his hands and said, "Hell, I don't know the words to this one!" It was an admirable effort, and I give Stanley credit for playing hurt that night, but it was like watching Dale, Jr. driving on three wheels at Daytona, and I would've had more respect for Kiss if they had postponed the show and returned when Paul was better. As it was, they wound up cancelling the next two shows on that abbreviated tour after St. Joseph.
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #43
"Feel Like A Number"—BOB SEGER & THE SILVER BULLET BAND (1976) "I feel just like another spoke in a great big wheel..." I always thought he said, "Smokin' a great big weed." As I've said before, Mr. Seger: confounded, man—enunciate!
WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND...
I was rather pleased to read today that the lowlife who murdered "My Sister Sam" actress Rebecca Schaffer in 1989 was himself attacked by a fellow prison inmate and stabbed numerous times. If you've ever seen this scumbag's taped confession of how he killed her, you'll agree that he deserves to be attacked a lot more often...
THE URBAN LEGEND IS TRUE!
Was also tickled to hear newly-inducted Baseball Hall of Fame Royals announcer Denny Matthews confirm during his speech yesterday that the Guy's Foods promo he read on the air during a game in 1970 did indeed go, "Fans, while you're in the store, be sure to grab Guy's nuts." Young Dennis thought his career was toast at that moment, but little did he know it was just the beginning, and 37 years later, the man is still going strong. Congrats again, Denny!
SANITY REIGNS, AFTER ALL...
Evidently fallen St. Louis Cardinals pitcher Josh Hancock's father has had a change of heart and has decided not to wage a legal battle against Mike Shannon's Steakhouse restaurant for serving Josh the alky-hol that he so fervently requested on the night he went out driving drunk off his ass and killed himself. Nice to see that the elder Mr. Hancock came to his senses, especially in light of the fact that Mr. Shannon is now grieving the loss of his wife of 48 years, Judy Shannon, to brain cancer.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
"They Died Old"--Volume III
"REMEMBER THE ROAR"
When I left off in my second installment of this little series on classic sporting venues, we were on the South Side of Chicago. Come with me now around to the West Side to that boxy little cacophony known as Chicago Stadium, where the likes of Jordan, Mikita, T. Esposito, Chelios and Rodman (?!?) ruled. It was home of the Bulls and Blackhawks, as well the world’s first Arena Football game, and a place I deeply regret not visiting more often than I did, but the two times I did partake of the "Madhouse On Madison Street" left a lasting impression on me.
Chicago Stadium opened in 1929, and in its early years was known mostly for hosting boxing matches and political conventions (sometimes simultaneously), and Sugar Ray Robinson often held court there, including when he beat the living snot out of Carmen Basilio on March 25, 1958, sending him to the hospital for nine days. Assassinated Chicago mayor Anton J. Cernak’s funeral was held there in early, 1933, too. Bicycle racing was also a staple during the arena’s early days, when the annual six-day bike races were immensely popular during the ’30s and ‘40s, along with the usual arena fare of concerts, circuses and figure skating events.
My first visit to Chicago Stadium was a Blackhawks game with the L.A. Kings on November 4, 1990. I’d driven by the place a couple times during previous Windy City summer sojourns, and I was dying to see it on the inside. However, I was extremely leery of the neighborhood in which the Stadium was located. I gotta tell ya, folks, it’s bad—I mean really bad! Even worse than the neighborhood surrounding Comiskey Park. Therefore, I was quite concerned for the welfare of my three-year-old ’87 T-Bird (with its Missouri license tags and Kansas City Comets bumper stickers that screamed out "Tourist!" to the local vandals) while it sat scared shitless in the parking lot during the game, not knowing exactly what I would come back to afterward. The arena was only a couple blocks from the expressway, and they have cleaned up the area a bit with the advent of the United Center built across the street from the Stadium site, but even today you only have to drive three blocks in any direction from there and you’re smack dab in the middle of the ‘hood. Luckily "The Bird" was still intact and functional after the game that night, but if you ever attend a Bulls or Blackhawks game at United Center, I urge extreme caution, or they might have to bring your hat to the hospital...
In 1932, Chicago Stadium unwittingly leaped about 60 years ahead of its time by hosting the world’s first indoor football game. The Chicago Bears were to play the Portsmouth Spartans (now the Detroit Lions) in the NFL Championship game, but the weather outside was frightful (even by Chi-town standards), and Wrigley Field was completely iced over and unusable. So, it was decided to truck in some dirt and play on a makeshift 60-yard field (plus the 10-yard end zones) on the Stadium floor, thus on December 18, 1932, Arena Football was born! The Bears won 9-0 in a game that was surprisingly well-played in spite of the unusual situation. However, kicking was a bit of an adventure, as some punts hit the rafters and one kickoff nearly knocked out a window.
The NBA's Chicago Bulls played their first season just a few blocks from Comiskey Park at the equally-old International Amphitheater (which wasn’t actually an amphitheater, nor was there anything terribly international about it), and moved to the Stadium for the 1967-68 season. I remember watching many a game broadcast from there, both on national TV and locally when we had the Kansas City (and/or) Omaha Kings. The Bulls of the early ‘70s featured the likes of Chet "The Jet" Walker, Bob Love, Norm Van Lier (whose guts I truly loathed, for some reason) and current Utah Jazz head coach Jerry Sloan. They were a good team, but not a great one until #23 came along in 1984 and turned the NBA on its collective ears. But from start-to-finish, Chicago Stadium was a hockey arena first and foremost, home of the NHL’s Blackhawks, who still sport quite possibly the coolest uniforms of any sports franchise, native American protesters be damned! The ‘Hawks last won the Stanley Cup 46 years ago, but they were always competitive no matter what, and the Stadium often gave them a distinct home-ice advantage with its shorter ice surface and sheer volume.
Being an old arena, by definition the Stadium naturally had a few quirks. The hockey press box was on the end of the rink instead of on the side, and the players actually had to climb a rather steep staircase (in their skates, no less) leading from the locker rooms to the ice surface. The Blackhawks’ zamboni had its own cage right there on the main concourse on the lower level. There was also the legendary "Gate 3 ½", located between 3 and 4 on the west side of the building where autograph hounds and groupies congregated as the players and/or singers and bands entered and left the premises.
Chicago Stadium had two other beloved features (besides #23): its mighty foghorn that saluted each Blackhawk goal and the even mightier Barton pipe organ that was perched on the east end of the arena. The horn was so loud that if you were sitting anywhere near it, the damn thing would probably give you brain damage. The organ, which was manned for 47 years by the late Al Melgard, followed by his protégé Frank Pellico, was unique for its ornate multi-tiered keyboard and cathedral-like sound, as well as its pipe work, which was actually built into the framework of the Stadium roof. Some pipes were wide enough for a full-grown man to fit in, and others were as thin as an ink pen, and the organ took over 100 people to install. According to legend, if the organ’s volume had ever been turned up to full-blast, one note would’ve blown out every window in the building. Sadly, they weren’t able to preserve the piping, but the organ itself was spared when Chicago Stadium was demolished in 1995 and it’s now on display in the home of Las Vegas millionaire Phil Maloof (co-owner of the Sacramento Kings).
Once inside, I was immediately impressed with what immaculate condition Chicago Stadium was in even at its advanced age. The concourses were cramped and narrow, yes, but they were clean and well-lit, which is more than I can say for Kansas City’s Kemper Arena, even today. I was also surprised at how small the place seemed when I got to my seat on the lower level—it always appeared to be huge on TV, and I couldn’t believe they could actually shoe-horn 18,000 people in this joint. It also struck me how the seating bowl was shaped almost like our Arrowhead Stadium, only on a much smaller scale, with the upper level sprouting "wings" that reached into the corners—sorta like Arrowhead inside a box, if you will.
Then came was the pre-game festivities. The crowd stood politely during the playing of "Oh, Canada", and then the "Star-Spangled Banner" was introduced. The crowd cheered wildly, and at first I thought it was because Chicago legend Wayne Messmer was doing the honors, but when he got to "What so proudly we hailed…" the crowd was still cheering vociferously, and I looked around in bewilderment. This, boys and girls, was my on-the-fly indoctrination to "The Roar", a little tradition I knew nothing about until that night. The cheering never stopped until we got to the "Home of the brave", and I was blown away—the building was loud enough as it was, then add this torrent of sound on top of it—man, what a way to get fired up for a game! Apparently, The Roar began sometime in the early ‘80s, but it usually didn’t start until reaching "the rockets’ red glare", but as time worn on, the cheering started inching further and further back to the beginning of the song, and thus, you have a legend. Just a few months after my visit, The Roar was featured on national TV prior to the 1991 NHL All-Star Game from the Stadium during the height of the Persian Gulf War. ‘Hawks fans still do The Roar today, but it’s just not the same at the sterilized and cavernous United Center.
The hockey game itself was a double treat for me. Not only did I get to see the Stadium and enjoy The Roar, but I got to see Wayne Gretzky play in person for the first and only time. I’d love to have seen him score a goal, but he got stoned by the Blackhawks goalie on a one-on-one breakaway which was actually even more exciting, and the game ended in a 2-2 tie. I returned for an encore during my 1994 "The Puck Stops Everywhere" hockey road trip and took in the next-to-next-to-last regular season game at Chicago Stadium as the Blackhawks and Calgary Flames skated to another 2-2 tie. At least I got to hear the horn a couple times and do The Roar one last time.
Just as an aside, anthem singer Wayne Messmer (who also sings at Cubs games and once served as their P.A. announcer) was nearly killed that same month I visited in 1994 when he was shot by a 15-year-old kid during a robbery attempt one night after a game. Did I mention that Chicago Stadium sat in a bad neighborhood? Wayne eventually recovered and was back singing again, but was later fired by the Blackhawks for no good reason. The ‘Hawks owner, William "Dollar Bill" Wirtz is a cheap-ola and a total douchebag, and it’s no small wonder the team hasn’t won a Stanley cup since the Kennedy Administration.
Even though Chicago Stadium was in remarkably good condition for its age in the early ‘90s, its replacement was inevitable. One would think the Bulls and Blackhawks would have seized the opportunity to escape the ghetto they were in and build a new arena elsewhere in town. As a certain former Chicago native once succinctly put it, "but noooooooooo!" Instead, they just moved right across the street to the lifeless sterile confines of the United Center, which by and large, is reviled by most Chicagoans, especially Blackhawks fans. It’s a nice building, yes, dwarfing the Stadium
(as you can see in the pic), but it has none of the soul of the old place and isn’t nearly as loud. Seems to me that if they were going to stay put in that crappy neighborhood anyway, they could’ve found a way to somehow renovate Chicago Stadium without removing any of the building’s charm and ambience (or volume). I feel sorry for sports fans who never got to see a game at Chicago Stadium. Everyone raves about the old Boston Garden, but it was vastly overrated—the Madhouse on Madison Street may well have been the greatest indoor sports arena of all-time.
When I left off in my second installment of this little series on classic sporting venues, we were on the South Side of Chicago. Come with me now around to the West Side to that boxy little cacophony known as Chicago Stadium, where the likes of Jordan, Mikita, T. Esposito, Chelios and Rodman (?!?) ruled. It was home of the Bulls and Blackhawks, as well the world’s first Arena Football game, and a place I deeply regret not visiting more often than I did, but the two times I did partake of the "Madhouse On Madison Street" left a lasting impression on me.Chicago Stadium opened in 1929, and in its early years was known mostly for hosting boxing matches and political conventions (sometimes simultaneously), and Sugar Ray Robinson often held court there, including when he beat the living snot out of Carmen Basilio on March 25, 1958, sending him to the hospital for nine days. Assassinated Chicago mayor Anton J. Cernak’s funeral was held there in early, 1933, too. Bicycle racing was also a staple during the arena’s early days, when the annual six-day bike races were immensely popular during the ’30s and ‘40s, along with the usual arena fare of concerts, circuses and figure skating events.
My first visit to Chicago Stadium was a Blackhawks game with the L.A. Kings on November 4, 1990. I’d driven by the place a couple times during previous Windy City summer sojourns, and I was dying to see it on the inside. However, I was extremely leery of the neighborhood in which the Stadium was located. I gotta tell ya, folks, it’s bad—I mean really bad! Even worse than the neighborhood surrounding Comiskey Park. Therefore, I was quite concerned for the welfare of my three-year-old ’87 T-Bird (with its Missouri license tags and Kansas City Comets bumper stickers that screamed out "Tourist!" to the local vandals) while it sat scared shitless in the parking lot during the game, not knowing exactly what I would come back to afterward. The arena was only a couple blocks from the expressway, and they have cleaned up the area a bit with the advent of the United Center built across the street from the Stadium site, but even today you only have to drive three blocks in any direction from there and you’re smack dab in the middle of the ‘hood. Luckily "The Bird" was still intact and functional after the game that night, but if you ever attend a Bulls or Blackhawks game at United Center, I urge extreme caution, or they might have to bring your hat to the hospital...
In 1932, Chicago Stadium unwittingly leaped about 60 years ahead of its time by hosting the world’s first indoor football game. The Chicago Bears were to play the Portsmouth Spartans (now the Detroit Lions) in the NFL Championship game, but the weather outside was frightful (even by Chi-town standards), and Wrigley Field was completely iced over and unusable. So, it was decided to truck in some dirt and play on a makeshift 60-yard field (plus the 10-yard end zones) on the Stadium floor, thus on December 18, 1932, Arena Football was born! The Bears won 9-0 in a game that was surprisingly well-played in spite of the unusual situation. However, kicking was a bit of an adventure, as some punts hit the rafters and one kickoff nearly knocked out a window.The NBA's Chicago Bulls played their first season just a few blocks from Comiskey Park at the equally-old International Amphitheater (which wasn’t actually an amphitheater, nor was there anything terribly international about it), and moved to the Stadium for the 1967-68 season. I remember watching many a game broadcast from there, both on national TV and locally when we had the Kansas City (and/or) Omaha Kings. The Bulls of the early ‘70s featured the likes of Chet "The Jet" Walker, Bob Love, Norm Van Lier (whose guts I truly loathed, for some reason) and current Utah Jazz head coach Jerry Sloan. They were a good team, but not a great one until #23 came along in 1984 and turned the NBA on its collective ears. But from start-to-finish, Chicago Stadium was a hockey arena first and foremost, home of the NHL’s Blackhawks, who still sport quite possibly the coolest uniforms of any sports franchise, native American protesters be damned! The ‘Hawks last won the Stanley Cup 46 years ago, but they were always competitive no matter what, and the Stadium often gave them a distinct home-ice advantage with its shorter ice surface and sheer volume.
Being an old arena, by definition the Stadium naturally had a few quirks. The hockey press box was on the end of the rink instead of on the side, and the players actually had to climb a rather steep staircase (in their skates, no less) leading from the locker rooms to the ice surface. The Blackhawks’ zamboni had its own cage right there on the main concourse on the lower level. There was also the legendary "Gate 3 ½", located between 3 and 4 on the west side of the building where autograph hounds and groupies congregated as the players and/or singers and bands entered and left the premises.
Chicago Stadium had two other beloved features (besides #23): its mighty foghorn that saluted each Blackhawk goal and the even mightier Barton pipe organ that was perched on the east end of the arena. The horn was so loud that if you were sitting anywhere near it, the damn thing would probably give you brain damage. The organ, which was manned for 47 years by the late Al Melgard, followed by his protégé Frank Pellico, was unique for its ornate multi-tiered keyboard and cathedral-like sound, as well as its pipe work, which was actually built into the framework of the Stadium roof. Some pipes were wide enough for a full-grown man to fit in, and others were as thin as an ink pen, and the organ took over 100 people to install. According to legend, if the organ’s volume had ever been turned up to full-blast, one note would’ve blown out every window in the building. Sadly, they weren’t able to preserve the piping, but the organ itself was spared when Chicago Stadium was demolished in 1995 and it’s now on display in the home of Las Vegas millionaire Phil Maloof (co-owner of the Sacramento Kings).Once inside, I was immediately impressed with what immaculate condition Chicago Stadium was in even at its advanced age. The concourses were cramped and narrow, yes, but they were clean and well-lit, which is more than I can say for Kansas City’s Kemper Arena, even today. I was also surprised at how small the place seemed when I got to my seat on the lower level—it always appeared to be huge on TV, and I couldn’t believe they could actually shoe-horn 18,000 people in this joint. It also struck me how the seating bowl was shaped almost like our Arrowhead Stadium, only on a much smaller scale, with the upper level sprouting "wings" that reached into the corners—sorta like Arrowhead inside a box, if you will.
Then came was the pre-game festivities. The crowd stood politely during the playing of "Oh, Canada", and then the "Star-Spangled Banner" was introduced. The crowd cheered wildly, and at first I thought it was because Chicago legend Wayne Messmer was doing the honors, but when he got to "What so proudly we hailed…" the crowd was still cheering vociferously, and I looked around in bewilderment. This, boys and girls, was my on-the-fly indoctrination to "The Roar", a little tradition I knew nothing about until that night. The cheering never stopped until we got to the "Home of the brave", and I was blown away—the building was loud enough as it was, then add this torrent of sound on top of it—man, what a way to get fired up for a game! Apparently, The Roar began sometime in the early ‘80s, but it usually didn’t start until reaching "the rockets’ red glare", but as time worn on, the cheering started inching further and further back to the beginning of the song, and thus, you have a legend. Just a few months after my visit, The Roar was featured on national TV prior to the 1991 NHL All-Star Game from the Stadium during the height of the Persian Gulf War. ‘Hawks fans still do The Roar today, but it’s just not the same at the sterilized and cavernous United Center.
The hockey game itself was a double treat for me. Not only did I get to see the Stadium and enjoy The Roar, but I got to see Wayne Gretzky play in person for the first and only time. I’d love to have seen him score a goal, but he got stoned by the Blackhawks goalie on a one-on-one breakaway which was actually even more exciting, and the game ended in a 2-2 tie. I returned for an encore during my 1994 "The Puck Stops Everywhere" hockey road trip and took in the next-to-next-to-last regular season game at Chicago Stadium as the Blackhawks and Calgary Flames skated to another 2-2 tie. At least I got to hear the horn a couple times and do The Roar one last time.
Just as an aside, anthem singer Wayne Messmer (who also sings at Cubs games and once served as their P.A. announcer) was nearly killed that same month I visited in 1994 when he was shot by a 15-year-old kid during a robbery attempt one night after a game. Did I mention that Chicago Stadium sat in a bad neighborhood? Wayne eventually recovered and was back singing again, but was later fired by the Blackhawks for no good reason. The ‘Hawks owner, William "Dollar Bill" Wirtz is a cheap-ola and a total douchebag, and it’s no small wonder the team hasn’t won a Stanley cup since the Kennedy Administration.
Even though Chicago Stadium was in remarkably good condition for its age in the early ‘90s, its replacement was inevitable. One would think the Bulls and Blackhawks would have seized the opportunity to escape the ghetto they were in and build a new arena elsewhere in town. As a certain former Chicago native once succinctly put it, "but noooooooooo!" Instead, they just moved right across the street to the lifeless sterile confines of the United Center, which by and large, is reviled by most Chicagoans, especially Blackhawks fans. It’s a nice building, yes, dwarfing the Stadium
(as you can see in the pic), but it has none of the soul of the old place and isn’t nearly as loud. Seems to me that if they were going to stay put in that crappy neighborhood anyway, they could’ve found a way to somehow renovate Chicago Stadium without removing any of the building’s charm and ambience (or volume). I feel sorry for sports fans who never got to see a game at Chicago Stadium. Everyone raves about the old Boston Garden, but it was vastly overrated—the Madhouse on Madison Street may well have been the greatest indoor sports arena of all-time. Misc. Musings
A TRULY MOVING EXPERIENCE
I spent most of my day helping a good friend of mine move into his newly-built house today. I'm tired, and I'll probably be sore as hell tomorrow, but I feel a nice sense of satisfaction all the same—it's nice to be able to return the favor to a friend who has helped me numerous times in the past. I do have one thing I'd like to say to my good friend, though: DON'T MOVE NO MORE!!! (Please!)
BILL FLEMMING, 1926-2007
Was saddened to learn of the death this week of longtime ABC sportscaster Bill Flemming at age 80. I most associate him with college football coverage during the early ‘70s, but there was no sport too minor for Bill—he gladly would cover most anything for "Wide World of Sports"—everything from cliff diving to barrel jumping to cow chip tossing. I always enjoyed Flemming’s narration (in those pre-ESPN days) on the weekly Sunday morning college football highlight show ("College Football America", I believe it was called) that featured 6-8 games from the previous day. Although it always pissed me off that they never showed Missouri highlights on it, the show was a perfect lead-in to the NFL pregame shows on Sundays, and Bill Flemming was a part of the sports soundtrack of my youth right up there with the likes of Pat Summerall, Keith Jackson, the late Curt Gowdy and—here’s a blast from the past for you—Al DeRogatis.
R.I.P., Bill—ya done good...
LET IT GO, ALREADY!
I would give almost anything for ESPN and the rest of the sports talk yappers to drop their obsession about whether baseball commish Bud Selig is going to be around when and/or if Barely Bonds breaks Hank Aaron’s home run record. Both Selig and Bonds are assholes anyway, and I really don’t care to watch Bud flashing a big fake smile like Eli Manning did when he stood there at the 2005 NFL draft holding that Chargers jersey out like it was a bustier for him to wear. I still hope Bonds suffers a career-ending injury before he gets to 756, but if he does indeed break the record, I still have yet to decide how I'll react. I've narrowed it down to four: scratch my balls, fart, yawn or all of the above. I'll be sure to let everyone know what transpires when and if it's necessary...
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #42
"You’re In My Heart"—ROD STEWART (1977) "Your fashion sense, Beardsley prints, I put down to experience." I thought Rod sang, "Your fashion sayin’s/Beardsley Prince". I even once asked, "Who the hell is Beardsley Prince?"
FEMA SCHEDULES AIRLINE FLIGHTS NOW?
I've been perusing flights and airfares for my upcoming September vacation to the Bay Area. Get a load of this return flight one can select for $300, round-trip: Depart the Oakland airport at 10PM, California time, and fly all the way to Atlanta—yes, the one in Georgia, folks—then turn around and fly back to Kansas City and arrive at 9AM the next morning, Missouri time! Meantime, there are plenty of other return flights that are a $100 cheaper and stop in cities on the way like Salt Lake City and Denver. Could someone please explain the logic in this to me like I'm a four-year-old?
CAPTAIN FANTASTIC WILL BE AT THE HELM...
...for our new Sprint Center arena's shakedown cruise on October 13th. It seems that Reginald Kenneth Dwight of Pinner, Middlesex, England will throw out the first pitch and play the first concert at our new hootenanny joint. Sounds like a plan to me...
I spent most of my day helping a good friend of mine move into his newly-built house today. I'm tired, and I'll probably be sore as hell tomorrow, but I feel a nice sense of satisfaction all the same—it's nice to be able to return the favor to a friend who has helped me numerous times in the past. I do have one thing I'd like to say to my good friend, though: DON'T MOVE NO MORE!!! (Please!)
BILL FLEMMING, 1926-2007
Was saddened to learn of the death this week of longtime ABC sportscaster Bill Flemming at age 80. I most associate him with college football coverage during the early ‘70s, but there was no sport too minor for Bill—he gladly would cover most anything for "Wide World of Sports"—everything from cliff diving to barrel jumping to cow chip tossing. I always enjoyed Flemming’s narration (in those pre-ESPN days) on the weekly Sunday morning college football highlight show ("College Football America", I believe it was called) that featured 6-8 games from the previous day. Although it always pissed me off that they never showed Missouri highlights on it, the show was a perfect lead-in to the NFL pregame shows on Sundays, and Bill Flemming was a part of the sports soundtrack of my youth right up there with the likes of Pat Summerall, Keith Jackson, the late Curt Gowdy and—here’s a blast from the past for you—Al DeRogatis.
R.I.P., Bill—ya done good...
LET IT GO, ALREADY!
I would give almost anything for ESPN and the rest of the sports talk yappers to drop their obsession about whether baseball commish Bud Selig is going to be around when and/or if Barely Bonds breaks Hank Aaron’s home run record. Both Selig and Bonds are assholes anyway, and I really don’t care to watch Bud flashing a big fake smile like Eli Manning did when he stood there at the 2005 NFL draft holding that Chargers jersey out like it was a bustier for him to wear. I still hope Bonds suffers a career-ending injury before he gets to 756, but if he does indeed break the record, I still have yet to decide how I'll react. I've narrowed it down to four: scratch my balls, fart, yawn or all of the above. I'll be sure to let everyone know what transpires when and if it's necessary...
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #42
"You’re In My Heart"—ROD STEWART (1977) "Your fashion sense, Beardsley prints, I put down to experience." I thought Rod sang, "Your fashion sayin’s/Beardsley Prince". I even once asked, "Who the hell is Beardsley Prince?"
FEMA SCHEDULES AIRLINE FLIGHTS NOW?
I've been perusing flights and airfares for my upcoming September vacation to the Bay Area. Get a load of this return flight one can select for $300, round-trip: Depart the Oakland airport at 10PM, California time, and fly all the way to Atlanta—yes, the one in Georgia, folks—then turn around and fly back to Kansas City and arrive at 9AM the next morning, Missouri time! Meantime, there are plenty of other return flights that are a $100 cheaper and stop in cities on the way like Salt Lake City and Denver. Could someone please explain the logic in this to me like I'm a four-year-old?
CAPTAIN FANTASTIC WILL BE AT THE HELM...
...for our new Sprint Center arena's shakedown cruise on October 13th. It seems that Reginald Kenneth Dwight of Pinner, Middlesex, England will throw out the first pitch and play the first concert at our new hootenanny joint. Sounds like a plan to me...
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Soul Brother Number 926.43
It sometimes comes as a great shock to some people who know me—the über Kiss, Who, Motorhead, Paul Revere & The Raiders fanatic, and all—that yours truly also has a very deep appreciation for classic Soul and R&B music. My interest in Soul is mostly confined to the late '60s and early-to-mid '70s—the "Golden Age" if you will (before Disco took over)—and it's too bad there's no one out there who can create this same kind of melodic and soulful music today like Isaac Hayes or the late Barry White. Now Black "music" is little more than all this "homey-this" and "homey-that" Rap garbage, and I find that sad. Anyway, without further ado, I present to you B.R. Holland's Top 20 Soul/R&B songs of all-time:
20) "You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine"—LOU RAWLS (1977) Was brother Lou about the smoothest singer on earth, or what? I might've given my left and right nut to sound just like him, but that would've rendered me a soprano, thus totally defeating the purpose...
19) "Float On"—THE FLOATERS (1977) Astrology meets "Soul Train"! Great song, but the 1980 Cheech & Chong send-up "Bloat On" is even more brilliant: "Hamburger--and my name is Big Boy...Come with me, baby, to Burger Land..."
18) "Back Stabbers"—THE O'JAYS (1972) The prolific songwriting/production team of Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff made The O'Jays stars, as well as many other Philadelphia International Records acts. No one produces records like this anymore...
17) "Strawberry Letter 23"—THE BROTHERS JOHNSON (1977) Wonderfully trippy soul tune that just floats along not unlike "Float On", only a little faster.
16) "Natural High"—BLOODSTONE (1973) Unbeknowst to me until just a few years ago, these guys were/are from Kansas City. Another wonderfully trippy soul tune, indeed.
15) "That Lady (Part I & II)"—THE ISLEY BROTHERS (1973) You know those water vapor mirages you see coming off the streets on hot summer days? That's what this song's blistering lead guitar work reminds me of. Funk at its very finest...
14) "Higher Ground"—STEVIE WONDER (1973) So many classics from Stevie to choose from, but this one is my favorite. Funky bass made even funkier by brother Flea on the Red Hot Chili Peppers' remake in 1989.
13) "I'll Be Around"—THE SPINNERS (1972) Love the horn solo during the middle-eight here. The Spinners were just hitting their stride with this song, and they reeled off a string of hits over the next five years or so afterwards.
12) "Up The Ladder To The Roof"—THE SUPREMES (1971) At least for a year or two, Mary Wilson, Cindy Birdsong, and new lead singer Jean Terrell were able to make everyone say, "Diana who?" This one—along with 1970's "Stoned Love"—was every bit as good as anything the Supremes did with "Miss Ross".
11) "Hey Love"—THE DELFONICS (1970) Why this wasn't a bigger hit than it was is beyond me. Too bad these guys never put out an album called Hooked on Delfonics, huh?
10) "If You Don't Know Me By Now"—HAROLD MELVIN & THE BLUE NOTES (1972) Mind-blowing performance by Teddy Pendergrass on lead vocals on this classic tear-jerker.
9) "You Are Everything"—THE STYLISTICS (1971) One of the great dance floor "belly-rubbers" of all-time featuring Russell Tompkins, Jr.'s unmistakable falsetto lead vocal from that magical year 1971, when everything on the radio (even The Osmonds) sounded phenomenal to me.
8) "Show And Tell"—AL WILSON (1973) Even as a 3rd-grader at the time, I really grooved with this song on AM radio.
7) "In The Rain"—THE DRAMATICS (1972) Extremely underrated Stax Records classic that features some heavily-echoplexed guitar work that makes it sound like the guitar is being played underwater. Outstanding vocals too.
6) "TSOP (The Sound of Philadelphia)"—MFSB (1974) Better known as the "Soul Train" theme song, this was probably the high point for the Philadelphia International record label. That's the Three Degrees doing the "Doot-doot-doodle-e-doo's", too.
5) "What's Goin' On"—MARVIN GAYE (1971) What an atmospheric tune! Hard to believe that Marvin was on a cocaine bender when he recorded this absolutely brilliant landmark album. Even crazier, Motown chief Berry Gordy, Jr. didn't want to release it because it was too political. Silly Berry...
4) "Smiling Faces Sometimes"—THE UNDISPUTED TRUTH (1971) The bass line on this one is absolutely sinister—it sounds just like a thief prowling the streets in the middle of the night. Great vocals here, too. This song always reminds me of a hot summer night, since that was the time of year it was high on the charts in '71.
3) "Love's Theme"—LOVE UNLIMITED ORCHESTRA (1974) Some people (including my ex-girlfriend) sadly associate this song with ABC's golf tournament coverage during the '70s, but this splendid instrumental just glides along like a stretch limousine, and it's an all-time favorite of mine. It blows my mind that the late Barry White was a self-taught musician (and couldn't even read sheet music), yet he was able to produce such incredibly rich sounds as this. R.I.P., B.W.
2) [Tie] "Theme From Shaft"—Isaac Hayes (1971)/Papa Was A Rolling Stone—THE TEMPTATIONS (1972) They say this "Shaft" song is a bad mutha? (Shut yo mouth!). The former is Stax Records' (and Chef's) finest hour, in my opinion, even though the movie it's from is vastly overrated. And who could forget Bart & Lisa's lovely rendition of it on "The Simpsons"? (Damn right!) The latter—originally recorded by Undisputed Truth—is Motown's (and The Tempts') finest hour, and a brilliantly-told story of freeloading desperation to boot. Both songs were the ultimate use of wah-wah pedals in music history too. They just don't make records like this anymore...
1) "Me And Mrs. Jones"—BILLY PAUL (1972) Man, I struggled with these top three or four as to which one would top this list, and this classic won by a nose (hair). The subject matter of a clandestine love affair meant absolutely nothing to me at age eight, but every time I hear "Mrs. Jones", I think back to those nights in the winter of '72-'73 falling asleep to the radio with this lush and sultry song playing. Why on earth this was Billy Paul's only Top 10 hit is totally unfathomable...
[Amazingly enough, folks like Earth Wind & Fire, The Chi-Lites, James Brown, Al Green and Otis Redding didn't even make the cut here. That's certainly no slam on any of them—methinks I might have to make this a Top 40 list at some point...]
20) "You'll Never Find Another Love Like Mine"—LOU RAWLS (1977) Was brother Lou about the smoothest singer on earth, or what? I might've given my left and right nut to sound just like him, but that would've rendered me a soprano, thus totally defeating the purpose...
19) "Float On"—THE FLOATERS (1977) Astrology meets "Soul Train"! Great song, but the 1980 Cheech & Chong send-up "Bloat On" is even more brilliant: "Hamburger--and my name is Big Boy...Come with me, baby, to Burger Land..."
18) "Back Stabbers"—THE O'JAYS (1972) The prolific songwriting/production team of Kenny Gamble and Leon Huff made The O'Jays stars, as well as many other Philadelphia International Records acts. No one produces records like this anymore...
17) "Strawberry Letter 23"—THE BROTHERS JOHNSON (1977) Wonderfully trippy soul tune that just floats along not unlike "Float On", only a little faster.
16) "Natural High"—BLOODSTONE (1973) Unbeknowst to me until just a few years ago, these guys were/are from Kansas City. Another wonderfully trippy soul tune, indeed.
15) "That Lady (Part I & II)"—THE ISLEY BROTHERS (1973) You know those water vapor mirages you see coming off the streets on hot summer days? That's what this song's blistering lead guitar work reminds me of. Funk at its very finest...
14) "Higher Ground"—STEVIE WONDER (1973) So many classics from Stevie to choose from, but this one is my favorite. Funky bass made even funkier by brother Flea on the Red Hot Chili Peppers' remake in 1989.
13) "I'll Be Around"—THE SPINNERS (1972) Love the horn solo during the middle-eight here. The Spinners were just hitting their stride with this song, and they reeled off a string of hits over the next five years or so afterwards.
12) "Up The Ladder To The Roof"—THE SUPREMES (1971) At least for a year or two, Mary Wilson, Cindy Birdsong, and new lead singer Jean Terrell were able to make everyone say, "Diana who?" This one—along with 1970's "Stoned Love"—was every bit as good as anything the Supremes did with "Miss Ross".
11) "Hey Love"—THE DELFONICS (1970) Why this wasn't a bigger hit than it was is beyond me. Too bad these guys never put out an album called Hooked on Delfonics, huh?
10) "If You Don't Know Me By Now"—HAROLD MELVIN & THE BLUE NOTES (1972) Mind-blowing performance by Teddy Pendergrass on lead vocals on this classic tear-jerker.
9) "You Are Everything"—THE STYLISTICS (1971) One of the great dance floor "belly-rubbers" of all-time featuring Russell Tompkins, Jr.'s unmistakable falsetto lead vocal from that magical year 1971, when everything on the radio (even The Osmonds) sounded phenomenal to me.
8) "Show And Tell"—AL WILSON (1973) Even as a 3rd-grader at the time, I really grooved with this song on AM radio.
7) "In The Rain"—THE DRAMATICS (1972) Extremely underrated Stax Records classic that features some heavily-echoplexed guitar work that makes it sound like the guitar is being played underwater. Outstanding vocals too.
6) "TSOP (The Sound of Philadelphia)"—MFSB (1974) Better known as the "Soul Train" theme song, this was probably the high point for the Philadelphia International record label. That's the Three Degrees doing the "Doot-doot-doodle-e-doo's", too.
5) "What's Goin' On"—MARVIN GAYE (1971) What an atmospheric tune! Hard to believe that Marvin was on a cocaine bender when he recorded this absolutely brilliant landmark album. Even crazier, Motown chief Berry Gordy, Jr. didn't want to release it because it was too political. Silly Berry...
4) "Smiling Faces Sometimes"—THE UNDISPUTED TRUTH (1971) The bass line on this one is absolutely sinister—it sounds just like a thief prowling the streets in the middle of the night. Great vocals here, too. This song always reminds me of a hot summer night, since that was the time of year it was high on the charts in '71.
3) "Love's Theme"—LOVE UNLIMITED ORCHESTRA (1974) Some people (including my ex-girlfriend) sadly associate this song with ABC's golf tournament coverage during the '70s, but this splendid instrumental just glides along like a stretch limousine, and it's an all-time favorite of mine. It blows my mind that the late Barry White was a self-taught musician (and couldn't even read sheet music), yet he was able to produce such incredibly rich sounds as this. R.I.P., B.W.
2) [Tie] "Theme From Shaft"—Isaac Hayes (1971)/Papa Was A Rolling Stone—THE TEMPTATIONS (1972) They say this "Shaft" song is a bad mutha? (Shut yo mouth!). The former is Stax Records' (and Chef's) finest hour, in my opinion, even though the movie it's from is vastly overrated. And who could forget Bart & Lisa's lovely rendition of it on "The Simpsons"? (Damn right!) The latter—originally recorded by Undisputed Truth—is Motown's (and The Tempts') finest hour, and a brilliantly-told story of freeloading desperation to boot. Both songs were the ultimate use of wah-wah pedals in music history too. They just don't make records like this anymore...
1) "Me And Mrs. Jones"—BILLY PAUL (1972) Man, I struggled with these top three or four as to which one would top this list, and this classic won by a nose (hair). The subject matter of a clandestine love affair meant absolutely nothing to me at age eight, but every time I hear "Mrs. Jones", I think back to those nights in the winter of '72-'73 falling asleep to the radio with this lush and sultry song playing. Why on earth this was Billy Paul's only Top 10 hit is totally unfathomable...
[Amazingly enough, folks like Earth Wind & Fire, The Chi-Lites, James Brown, Al Green and Otis Redding didn't even make the cut here. That's certainly no slam on any of them—methinks I might have to make this a Top 40 list at some point...]
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
R.E.O. Styxwagon?
Just finished listening to my Styx CD collection today (I was even able to choke down Kilroy Was Here!) and it wrapped up with the double-live CD set Arch Allies, which captured the first of many Styx and REO Speedwagon joint concert tours commencing in the summer of 2000. These two bands have been Kansas City favorites for over 35 years now, and during their heyday in the early ‘80s, they were a hot concert ticket in this town. I remember waiting well over four hours in line in the snow in January 1981 for Styx tickets for the Paradise Theater tour, and Speedwagon damn near filled up Arrowhead Stadium in August 1982. REO and Styx (along with Rush, Kiss, Grand Funk, Black Sabbath, et al) are bands that music critics just love to hate, which in part probably explains why I like them, plus they both were great live bands back in the day.It’s also rather fun to note the near-parallel histories they share:
—Both bands were formed in 1968 in northeastern Illinois, and their first albums were released within a year of each other in 1971-72.
—Both bands struggled to find an audience and/or radio airplay after releasing their first 4-5 albums and each group seemingly grew more successful at the same intervals (Styx with "Lady" and "Lorelei" in late ‘75 and REO with "Keep Pushin’" in early ’76; Styx with "Come Sail Away" and "The Grand Illusion" in late ’77, REO with "Roll With The Changes" and "Time For Me To Fly" in the spring of ’78), etc. Then Speedwagon and Styx truly hit their popularity motherlode in the winter of 1980-81 with their breakout albums Hi Infidelity and Paradise Theater, respectively, which were both #1 on the Billboard album chart in 1981.
—Each band had their only #1 hits on the Billboard Hot 100 with soft Rock ballads almost within a year of each other; Styx with "Babe" in late 1979, and REO with "Keep On Lovin’ You" in early ’81.
—The heydays for both groups ended at roughly the same time around 1983-84, with only minor resurgences in popularity in the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. Speedwagon just kinda ran out of gas (sorry, bad pun) following 1984’s Wheels Are Turning LP (although 1987’s Life As We Know It had some good stuff on it), and their decline seems to more less coincide with when Kevin Cronin started bleaching his hair blonde—sorry Kev, but it looks kinda faggy to me. Styx aided and abetted their own demise with the ill-advised career-killing album Kilroy Was Here in 1983. When the band was accused of backmasking satanic messages on the classic track "Snowblind" from Paradise, Dennis DeYoung took things a little too personally and came up with this Schlock Rock Opera about a futuristic oppressive society in which Rock music is banned altogether. The album seemed like a neat idea at the time, but listening it now almost makes banning Rock 'N' Roll sound like a damn good idea! Almost...
—Each band only has one original member who has been with the group throughout the group’s existence; REO keyboardist Neal Doughty and guitarist James "J.Y." Young of Styx. Original bassist Chuck Panozzo has never officially left Styx, but now only tours and records on a part-time basis since revealing he is HIV-positive in 1998, thus he technically has not made the band’s entire trip.
—Each band has had a key member leave the group for a significant time and subsequently return; Kevin Cronin left Speedwagon after 1972’s R.E.O./T.W.O. and returned in 1976 for the just plain R.E.O. album in ’76. Tommy Shaw left Styx for a solo career in 1984 and later formed Damn Yankees in 1989 before reuniting with Styx in the mid-‘90s.
—Each band had an original member who was replaced because of substance abuse problems; REO guitarist Gary Richrath was asked to leave in the late ‘80s because of his drug usage, and Styx drummer John Panozzo was replaced by current drummer Todd Sucherman when his alcoholism rendered him unable to tour in the early ‘90s, and he subsequently died of liver disease in 1996.
—Each band is currently estranged from one of its founding members; Gary Richrath from REO (see above item), and keyboardist/leader Dennis DeYoung of Styx. The feud between DeYoung and the band has been famously festering for about ten years over the band’s musical direction, as Tommy Shaw and J.Y. don’t care to play Dennis’ grandiose Broadway-style music.
—Neither band is likely to be elected to the Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame, although I think you could make a case for both of them. They certainly belong there more than the Lovin’ Spoonful or Elvis Costello do…
My All-Time REO Top 10:
1) "Ridin' The Storm Out" (Live-1980)
2) "157 Riverside Avenue" (Live-1980)
3) "Good Trouble" (1982)
4) "Keep Pushin'" (1976)
5) "Say You Love Me Or Say Goodnight" (1978)
6) "Tough Guys" (1980)
7) "Runnin' Blind" (1978)
8) "Keep On Lovin' You" (1980)
9) "Back On The Road Again" (1979)
10) [Tie] "Like You Do" (1972)/"That Ain't Love" (1987)
My All-Time Styx Top 10:
1) "Too Much Time On My Hands" (1981)
2) "Lady" (1973)
3) "Lorelei" (1975)
4) "Rockin' The Paradise" (1981)
5) "Come Sail Away" (1977)
6) "Miss America" (1977)
7) "The Grand Illusion" (1977)
8) "Lonely Child" (1975)
9) "Borrowed Time" (1979)
10) "Fooling Yourself (The Angry Young Man)" (1977)
Come on in--the blogging's fine...
A GLARING OMISSION
As is typical with my countdowns and lists, I often forget one or two worthy entries, and it took me about three months to realize an egregious error on my part by overlooking Supertramp’s Breakfast In America in my Top 30 Album Covers of All-Time list on the blog. Not sure where exactly it lands in the rankings now, but it’s always been a favorite of mine. Great album too—probably the last of the true classic albums of the ‘70s, and certainly S-Tramp’s finest hour(s) in the studio.
MOTHERS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS
Me madre is thinking about getting cable TV, and she asked me the other day, "Does Compost have an office around here?" She was referring to Comcast, of course, but Compost actually better sums up my opinion of them sometimes…
THE CONTINUING PUSSIFICATION OF AMERICA
I was quite amused at something my man Leo. Pitts, Jr. wrote in his column this week. Seems that in the Health section of his Miami Herald paper last week they published some hints for parents to help their kids cope with the death of one (or more) of the beloved characters in the new Harry Potter book. Only in America could we have grief counseling that covers fictional characters in cheesy Sci-Fi books aimed at geeky 7th-graders! Where were these fuckers when I was seven and watched the movie Brian’s Song for the first time and was inconsolable afterwards? At least Brian Piccolo was a real person who died!
CUE THE OPPORTUNISTS...
At the risk of sounding like R. Limbaugh, the animal rights nut-jobs are predictably taking to this Michael Vick thing like arsonists to a burning building—even though the guy literally hasn’t even had his day in court yet. These folks are already doing a little grandstanding for their cause by picketing and protesting in front of the Atlanta Falcons offices yesterday. Why picket the Falcons? Or the NFL? This isn’t their fault, and neither organization is responsible for one knucklehead’s actions, nor should they have to rush into any kind of decision about Vick’s future employment therein just because PETA wants them to. Why not picket Vick’s house(s) instead—he’s the one you’re pissed at, right?
Look folks, I didn’t even like Vick before all this hoo-haw began—his other previous transgressions have painted him in a rather shady light and he’s overrated/over-hyped as a quarterback, anyway. I think he’s guilty as hell myself on this dog-fighting stuff, but let’s at least give the man a chance to try to prove his innocence before we string him up by his nut-sack. This is America, after all (last time I checked…).
And why do I have this bad feeling Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are going to stick their noses in this before it's all over?
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #41
"Stardom In Acton"—PETE TOWNSHEND (1982) Not an actual lyric this time, but rather the title itself, which for years I misread as "Stardom In Action"!
PARASITE LADY I
Seems only fitting for web pages devoted to Paris Hilton to be called "Paris sites", don't it?
PARASITE LADY II
I read that Tammy Faye was cremated, per her wishes. I would’ve paid good money to see her imploded…
BECKHAM GIVES ME THE BENDSI don’t care what my good friend Steve in England says, this David Beckham fucker can’t possibly be worth all the hype and hysteria he’s brought with him—nobody’s that good! And he’s in for a shock when he realizes the caliber of team he now plays for. The L.A. Galaxy is one of the weaker teams in MLS, and considering all the world-class players he’s accustomed to competing with and against, this will be akin to A-Rod or Albert Pujols playing AA minor league baseball or Peyton Manning playing Arena Football. MLS is making a colossal mistake by sinking so much money into this guy…
As is typical with my countdowns and lists, I often forget one or two worthy entries, and it took me about three months to realize an egregious error on my part by overlooking Supertramp’s Breakfast In America in my Top 30 Album Covers of All-Time list on the blog. Not sure where exactly it lands in the rankings now, but it’s always been a favorite of mine. Great album too—probably the last of the true classic albums of the ‘70s, and certainly S-Tramp’s finest hour(s) in the studio.MOTHERS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS
Me madre is thinking about getting cable TV, and she asked me the other day, "Does Compost have an office around here?" She was referring to Comcast, of course, but Compost actually better sums up my opinion of them sometimes…
THE CONTINUING PUSSIFICATION OF AMERICA
I was quite amused at something my man Leo. Pitts, Jr. wrote in his column this week. Seems that in the Health section of his Miami Herald paper last week they published some hints for parents to help their kids cope with the death of one (or more) of the beloved characters in the new Harry Potter book. Only in America could we have grief counseling that covers fictional characters in cheesy Sci-Fi books aimed at geeky 7th-graders! Where were these fuckers when I was seven and watched the movie Brian’s Song for the first time and was inconsolable afterwards? At least Brian Piccolo was a real person who died!
CUE THE OPPORTUNISTS...
At the risk of sounding like R. Limbaugh, the animal rights nut-jobs are predictably taking to this Michael Vick thing like arsonists to a burning building—even though the guy literally hasn’t even had his day in court yet. These folks are already doing a little grandstanding for their cause by picketing and protesting in front of the Atlanta Falcons offices yesterday. Why picket the Falcons? Or the NFL? This isn’t their fault, and neither organization is responsible for one knucklehead’s actions, nor should they have to rush into any kind of decision about Vick’s future employment therein just because PETA wants them to. Why not picket Vick’s house(s) instead—he’s the one you’re pissed at, right?
Look folks, I didn’t even like Vick before all this hoo-haw began—his other previous transgressions have painted him in a rather shady light and he’s overrated/over-hyped as a quarterback, anyway. I think he’s guilty as hell myself on this dog-fighting stuff, but let’s at least give the man a chance to try to prove his innocence before we string him up by his nut-sack. This is America, after all (last time I checked…).
And why do I have this bad feeling Al Sharpton and Jesse Jackson are going to stick their noses in this before it's all over?
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #41
"Stardom In Acton"—PETE TOWNSHEND (1982) Not an actual lyric this time, but rather the title itself, which for years I misread as "Stardom In Action"!
PARASITE LADY I
Seems only fitting for web pages devoted to Paris Hilton to be called "Paris sites", don't it?
PARASITE LADY II
I read that Tammy Faye was cremated, per her wishes. I would’ve paid good money to see her imploded…
BECKHAM GIVES ME THE BENDSI don’t care what my good friend Steve in England says, this David Beckham fucker can’t possibly be worth all the hype and hysteria he’s brought with him—nobody’s that good! And he’s in for a shock when he realizes the caliber of team he now plays for. The L.A. Galaxy is one of the weaker teams in MLS, and considering all the world-class players he’s accustomed to competing with and against, this will be akin to A-Rod or Albert Pujols playing AA minor league baseball or Peyton Manning playing Arena Football. MLS is making a colossal mistake by sinking so much money into this guy…
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