Happy Matt Groening's B-Day!

...that's the man who gave us the "Simpsons".  Beats celebrating Valentine's Day, that's for sure...

THIS JUST IN...ANNA NICOLE IS STILL DEAD!
Well, predictably, Anna Nicole Smith’s been dead for a week now, and she’s still getting wall-to-wall coverage on all the cable news channels night after night during prime-time.  During a quick scan through the channels on Tuesday night during the 9:00 hour, I counted no less than SEVEN channels that were flapping their jaws about her.  You’d think that A.N.S. actually did something important in her life to merit more media coverage than the deaths of Presidents Reagan and Ford combined.  She’s fast approaching Princess Diana territory already.

I’d like to think that at this very moment somewhere out there in the television news industry, there are more than a few people with principles and/or a conscience—whether they be a staff writer or a reporter or a cameraman or a gopher or whatever—who are now asking themselves, "I got into this sleazy business just for this?" and are contemplating a career change.

I’d really like to think that, anyway…

WEATHER B.S.
Local TV weather geek Gary Lezak’s print ad in yesterday’s paper read, "It’s day 34 of the 2007 Cold Wave—is there an end in sight?  Tune in to 41 Action News tonight and find out…"  Hey Gary, I’ll let you in on a little secret:  it’s February in Kansas City—it’s supposed to be cold!!  Didn’t they teach you that at Meteorology school?  As for your "Cold Wave", I seem to remember a Tuesday the week before last when it got up to 55 degrees here.  This is precisely why I so despise today’s local TV news and weather people—they’re such sensationalists (and alarmists, too).  I get my weather from the Weather Channel or the National Weather Service website, anyway.

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #10
"Tom Sawyer"—RUSH (1981) "…his mind is not for rent to any god or government/Always hope for your discontent…" could also be misinterpreted as "always hope for your Discotheque…"

WHY APOLOGIZE?
Sen. Obama was absolutely right when he said our American soldiers in Iraq have been wasted, but he later apologized for using the word "wasted".  Dude, this whole fucking thing has been one BIG waste—no apology was necessary!  What term would the Shrubs—er uh, Bushes have preferred Obama to use:  "Properly done away with"?  Gimme a break already…

BRILLIANT!We had a patient at work yesterday named Dixie Hicks.  Now, if that ain’t the perfect name for a potential all-male Dixie Chicks tribute band, then I don’t know what is!  Hell, there probably already is one, for all I know.  Chicks With Dicks would also work…

COMEDY AIN’T CHEAP
Saw by the paper today that 45 bucks (plus convenience charge) would get me a nosebleed seat at Kemper Arena for Larry The Cable Guy’s upcoming show tomorrow night.  I get more of a laugh out of that fact than I probably would out of the show itself.  I heard Blue Man Group tickets are about that much $$ too.  Now, that’s funny!