If possession is 9/10 of the law...

...then what's the other tenth? Inquiring mind wants to know!

TEMPLE OF DOOM!
Congrats to MU running back Tony Temple for his record-setting performance in the Cotton Bowl the other day—281 yards rushing and 4 TDs—as Mizzou got high on the Hawgs and whooped Arkansas 38-7.  Everyone worried about MU having a letdown after being snubbed for the Orange Bowl bid that went to Kansas, but they showed a lot of class and played their asses off and I'm very proud of them for finishing 12-2—their best season ever.  More good news for MU—they don't have to play Oklahoma next year, unless it's in the Big 12 title game.  Given the way OU played against West "Virgina" last night in the Fiesta Bowl, I can't figure out for the life of me how they managed to beat Missouri twice this year.  Watch out for the Tigers in '08, folks!

SPEAKING OF DOOM...
...that's what our buddy, the (very wrong) Rev. Pat Robertson, is predicting.  Yesterday, he proclaimed (as he always does) that God Himself told him 2008 will be a year of worldwide violence, and we're going to have a recession followed by a stock-market crash by 2010.  "The Lord was saying that there's going to be violence and chaos in the world," Pat claims.  Uhhh, your bulletin's a little late, dumbass—there already is violence and chaos in the world!  Yet another example of how this fucker and others of his ilk prey upon simple-minded people's fears.  Sleaze-bags like Robertson are a huge reason why I'm a non-believer...

PUCKIN'-A!
Was so pleased to see the NHL's outdoor hockey game in Buffalo become a surprise hit on New Year's Day, as some folks actually did tune in the broadcast on NBC.  Mother Nature added a little spice to the game with the snow and sleet, but for the folks in the stands, the conditions were no worse than those of a typical Buffalo Bills game this time of year, so it probably didn't even faze them.  Besides, the sight of 71,000 tuques in one place is quite heartwarming!  It's also nice to see something positive happen for the NHL for a change, and now there's talk of making this an annual event in different venues, possibly even in some non-NHL cities.  May I suggest Kansas City?  Might as well—Arrowhead Stadium never gets used in January anymore, except by the pigeons who roost there.

PEOPLE ARE STRANGE...
Okay, sitting outdoors for three hours watching a sporting event all bundled up in Winter time is one thing, but someone please explain this Polar Bear Club network to me.  That's the folks in numerous localities around the country who every New Year's Day go running into icy water intentionally wearing only bathing suits!  What exactly does this prove, besides that these yokels are first-class candidates for the looney bin?  Shit, I was freezing my ass off the other morning just walking out to grab my newspaper—and I was fully-clothed with a coat on!  These folks are certifiable...

SHE'S A BEAUTY?!?
University of Arizona law student and former beauty-queen Kumari Fulbright, accused of forcibly holding and torturing a former boyfriend by biting him on the arm and sticking a butcher knife in his ear, has been freed on bond.

You've no doubt already seen this pic making the rounds on the 'net and in the papers. Okay, I know she's an easy target here, but I just can't resist.  Who on earth did this former beauty queen—former being the key word here, I'm assuming—compete against?  The cretins at the Cantina Bar in Star Wars?  Joan Rivers and her ugly-ass daughter?  Joe Torre?  Steven Tyler?  Only a matter of time before we see her face on iodine bottles the world over...

IS THERE NOTHING SACRED?
Was extremely disappointed to hear Stevie Ray Vaughan's "Pride And Joy" on a car commercial numerous times during the bowl games.  I can't possibly fathom any scenario where SRV would have sold his music to any TV ad if he were still with us—shame (x3) on his estate for being sellouts!

IS THERE NOTHING SACRED?—PART DEUX
I saw by the paper today that they're now making a live-action "Speed Racer" movie.  Wrong! Wrong! Wrong!  Chim-Chim and Sprytle (sp?) are gonna be pissed...

AFTER FURTHER REVUE...
Anybody remember the old kids' show "The New Zoo Revue"?  I rented it on DVD not so long ago, mostly to re-live childhood memories of lusting after the lovely Emmy Jo in her short skirts and go-go boots—she was about the fourth female I remember being smitten by on TV after Yvonne Craig as Batgirl, Marcia Brady and the girl from "The Bugaloos".  Anyway, a couple things struck me about the show as I viewed it with adult eyes.  First off, the frog's voice sounded uncomfortably close to that of Bart Simpson, whom he pre-dated by a good 15 years at least.  Secondly, how is it the frog lived in a hole in the ground and the owl lived in a tree, but the hippo had her own fully-furnished apartment just like the humans?  Oh yes, I forgot—this was the '70s!!

LOOK MA—NO LEGS!
Even Lt. Dan might be impressed with this chick!