I got blisters on my feets!

Did y'all miss me?  Sorry I've been so long away, peoples, but I have a fairly good excuse—I was in Sin City for three days this week and got home late last night.  This was my third visit to Lost Wages in the last ten years, and I have to say that in spite of all the sights, sounds and attractions that Vegas provides, it's infinitely more fun and intense when you have a female companion, as I did on my last visit in 1999.  This time I had no such companion and it was definitely a comedown, but then again, Vegas ain't the cheap food and drink proposition it once was, either.  Now that the corporate suits are running the show out there instead of old-school gambling types, the emphasis is no longer on luring people into the casinos with cheap eats and booze—hell, in the old days, they wanted you to get drunk!  Now it's all about family entertainment, and it's so watered-down.  And yes, I do have blisters on both feet, as I must have put in six miles of walking on Wednesday along the Strip, in spite of wearing my best pair of walking chooz.  D'oh!

Oh, by the way, a little tip for youse air travelers:  Avoid US Airways, if you can.  Their personnel were generally very unfriendly and unhelpful, and we encountered a couple FUBARs along the way.  I weren't impressed...

And for your viewing pleasure, a brief pictorial tour of my trip:

HAIL CAESARS!
Evel Knievel woulda been comin' right at you if you were standing where I snapped this pic, just above same spot where he crashed his motorcycle and mangled his body on New Year's Eve, 1967 while jumping the fountains at Caesar's Palace.  I'm surprised there's no historical marker anywhere on the premises...




WARNING: REALLY BAD JOKE COMING!
The one thing that's constant about Las Vegas is change, and here's a shot of yet another new luxury hotel/resort going up on the Strip in Vegas.  I haven't seen that many cranes in the same place since the last time I watched "Frasier"!  But I gotta tell ya, folks...






ZEBRA 3, ZEBRA 3—COME IN, PLEASE!
Ah yes, the mighty Striped Tomato from TV's "Starsky & Hutch" on display at the hotel we stayed at, the Imperial Palace.  There were numerous other cool vehicles to be viewed there, including Herbie T. LoveBug, et al, and best of all, it was free.  As for this here Torino, I still have to question what good it did for S&H to go "undercover" while driving around in a car that stood out like a turd in a punch bowl!



A TRUE LANDMARK...
...or at least to yours truly it is.  This is the Royal Hotel & Resort in Las Vegas, just off the Strip near where the Stardust used to stand.  Apart from my own house, I've had more sex here than anywhere else on this planet—all with the same beautiful girl.  By the way, did I mention that Vegas is a lot more fun with a female companion?




=========================
Meantime, while I was away:

THE GRIM REAPER'S BEEN BUSY AGAIN...
Sad news once again from the music front, as we lost two more fairly important people this week.  R&B singer Al Wilson died of kidney failure on Monday.  Al was best known for his 1973 smash "Show And Tell", which is a personal favorite of mine.  Singer/songwriter Paul Davis died of a heart attack on Tuesday, just one day after his 60th birthday.  He was most famous for late '70s/early '80s "mellow" hit fare like "I Go Crazy", "Cool Night" and "'65 Love Affair".  Oddly enough, these two gentlemen have one thing in common—they were both born in Meridian, Mississippi.  Rest in peace, Al and Paul...

YOU GO, GIRL!
I want to acknowledge Danica Patrick's IRL victory in Japan in the race car thang last weekend—way to go!  Hey, chicks can drive too, ya know?  Fairly monumental stuff, here...

THE DEED IS DONE
I was quite pleased to see that the Kansas City Chefs traded disgruntled defensive end Jared Allen to Minnesota the other day for three picks in tomorrow's NFL draft.  Okay, youse Chefs fans who now have skidmarks in your underwear need to calm down and listen to reason and start thinking with your heads instead of your hearts.  Yes, JA is a talented player who could benefit the team for years to come, but the fact is he ain't gonna benefit this team for years to come because he's pissed at G.M. Carl Peterson, and we'd have lost him after this season anyway, thanks to his foul gruntlement, so why not get something in return for him while we can, eh?  J. Allen is also just one more DUI away from being suspended for a full season and meantime El Chiefos snagged another first-round pick from the Vikings in this deal, as well as two third-round picks, bringing their total to 13 choices in this year's draft.  Unless they go totally blind, the Chefs are bound to snag some quality foosball players this time, so get over it, all you Jared Allen sycophants—he's overrated anyway...

And thank goodness to whoever's in charge of this flea circus we live in—ESPN's incessant coverage of the NFL Draft will be over after tomorrow!

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #78
"People And Places"—JOURNEY (1980)  "Take a ride on a rocket...take your mind, unlock it..."  Or, as my dopey mind heard it at the time, "Take your mind and like it!"  Very underrated song from Joyney, btw...

SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE B-DAY!
I see by the paper that actor Al Pacino turns 68 today.  My man Björn Ulvæus of ABBA hits 63 and (Yo, Adrian!) actress Talia Shire is now 62.  Best of all, my girl Renee Zellweger turned 39 on this day.  I'm still waiting for your phone call, cutie...

Bloggy Mountain Breakdown

DANNY FEDERICI, 1950-2008
Man, it seems like we've lost more than our fair share of music people so far this year, as E Street Band stalwart Danny Federici passed away on Thursday after succumbing to his battle with melanoma.  While I'm not a huge Springsteen fan, I was well aware of "Phantom Dan" (great nickname, btw) and his contribution to Bruce's music over the years on the organ and even the accordian.  Former Pat Benatar keyboardist Charlie Giordano filled in for DF on the current E Street Band tour, although Danny appeared sporadically, including his final appearance on March 20th.  R.I.P., Phantom Dan...

SPLATTERED ALL OVER MANHATTAN
More bad news from the Jersey side as my boys the New Jersey Devils went down in a heap to the New York Strangers last night in Game 5 of the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs.  The Devils used to own the "Blue Shirts" in the postseason, but this year was different, for some reason.  Wait 'til next year, I guess...

OUT WITH THE OLD, IN WITH THE NEW...
Speaking of New Yawk, I thought I'd share a couple cool pics of the new beisbol emporiums under contstruction in the Big Apple.  Click these pics to enlarge them—they're both pretty detailed.  At left is the Mets' new joint, Citi Field, which is modeled loosely after Ebbets Field in Brooklyn, being built adjacent to Chez Shea.

And this would be the new (and now-shirtless) Yankee Stadium going up in Da Bronx right next door to the old one.  One thing I'm pleased to see is they're bringing back the old façade from the original configuration of the House That Ruth Built, ringing the top of the stadium like it used to be prior to the mid-'70s renovation.  I can't wait to see these behemoths in person when I invade Gotham City in August.


MY LONG NATIONAL NIGHTMARE IS OVER!
Regular readers to my blog may recall a few entries about a rather unsavory female co-worker of mine who struggled with her personal hygiene in the vaginal region.  Well, I'm delighted to report that she is no longer my co-worker, as the powers-that-be at my employer finally rid us of this office cancer on Wednesday.  While I normally don't rejoice over anyone losing their job, this was a long time coming for numerous reasons—well beyond just the obvious olfactory benefits—as this person was given numerous second-, third-, and fourth-chances to get her collective shit together and failed to do so.

Just to recap, this person is 31 years old with three kids by three different fathers—none of whom she ever married—and the oldest child is 15 (do the math).  In just under two years of working with us, she and her kids had to move at least three times because of evictions caused by her youngest son, who apparently is totally out of control.  Same said child has also been kicked out of school numerous times as well, and recently this boy was involved in a tussle that resulted in another kid having his front teeth knocked out.  But of course, his mother refused to take any responsibility for his actions and didn't help pay the other kid's dental bills.  Meantime, this woman had the nerve to try to mooch off the government by applying for Section 8 government housing because she recently broke up with her live-in boyfriend/sugar daddy and had no place to stay.  Yet, she could still afford to maintain her funky fingernails and shellacked multi-colored hair extensions, not mention her monthly $500 cell phone bill.  Basically, we're talking human train wreck, here...

Okay, if her personal life didn't interfere with her performance at work, then I wouldn't be writing this, but she was chronically late for work (always claiming that the time clock wasn't working that morning), and exceeded the allotted number of excused absences within a six-month period because she constantly had to take time off work to deal with her incorrigible kids getting in trouble at school or for her numerous court appearances involving her various car accidents—she was NOT an excellent driver.  And even though she's an able-bodied person, she thought nothing of parking in the handicapped spaces all day long instead of walking her lazy fat ass another ten feet to park in the regular spaces.  For that last reason alone, I have no respect for this woman whatsoever!  Good riddance to an asshole, I say...

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #77
"Mexican Radio"—WALL OF VOODOO (1983)  "I'm on a Mexican Radio..."  I originally thought Stan Ridgway was singing "I bought a Mexican Radio..."  Is there such an animal?!?

"WHAT NOT TO WEAR"—VH-1 EDITION
What can brown do for you?  It can make you look like a bunch of disco gingerbread men—just ask the dudes from Heatwave in their "Boogie Nights" video!  I have to admit, though, that this is one of the better disco songs of all-time.  Every time I hear it, it reminds of the big 1977 flood here in Kansas City, because that song was high on the charts as I was squeegee-ing water out of my basement bedroom...

GET 'EM WHILE THEY LAST!
Only in Raytown would you see something like this.  Ah yes, those spiritual blank t-shirts are just sooo uplifting!

I'm Just a Blogger (In A Rock 'N' Roll Band)

SHOW ME "SAND THE FLOOR"!
My blog entries have been (and will continue to be) rather sporadic lately because I am in the midst of remodeling my bedroom, a project that has been long overdue.  I’m replacing the sheet rock on the exterior walls, behind which I discovered there was no insulation all this time—no wonder I’ve been freezing my hiney off in there every winter!  In addition, I’m repainting the ceiling and interior walls, replacing all the trim and resurfacing the hardwood floors.  I don’t suppose Mr. Miyagi could spare Daniel-san for a week or two—I could use the help!

JUST AN OBSERVATION
Please allow me to point out something that was lost in all the flap last week over Barack Obama’s poorly-chosen words about frustrated voters in Pennsylvania who "cling to religion and guns" that got him in some hot water:  He’s right, you know…

I'LL GO OUT ON A LIMB...
...and predict that two NFL streaks will continue next season.  The 2008 NFL schedule was announced yesterday, and Kansas City gets to open at New England, thus virtually guaranteeing that the Chefs’ regular season losing streak (9 and counting) and the Pats’ winning streak (19 and counting) will continue for at least one more week.  Then again, there’s a reason why they play the games, so who knows?  Maybe there’ll be a Malaria outbreak in Foxborough that week…

OVERDUE PROPS…
…to Boston Red Sox fans for finally letting Bill Buckner off the hook they’ve had him on for 22 years.  Last week during the Sox’ home opener, Buckner threw out the first pitch, and he received a standing ovation which moved him to tears during a subsequent press conference.  This poor guy has been hated in Beantown almost as much as Bucky Bleepin’ Dent all these years, and has been so unfairly blamed for blowing the ’86 World Series for Boston when it really wasn’t his fault.  It’s a shame that’s all most people remember Bill Buckner for because he was a damn good ball player.  He was a consistent hitter (.289 career average) and a scrappy player, and had some great years for the Dodgers and Cubs in the ‘70s and ‘80s.  And the thing I always remember him most for was when he tried like hell to scale the outfield fence in Atlanta so he could snag Hank Aaron’s 715th home run ball in ‘74.  If only his arm had been about eight feet longer…

As for ’86—first off, Buckner was on the team strictly for his bat because his knees had shot craps on him at that point his career.  He shouldn’t have even been playing in the late innings of Game 6, as he normally would’ve been removed from the lineup for a defensive replacement by then.  Secondly, if you watch that pivotal play where the ball went through Buckner’s legs, even if he came up with the ball cleanly, he probably wouldn’t have gotten the runner out at first base anyway because there was no one covering and Buckner never would have beaten Mookie Wilson to the bag.  Thirdly, everyone forgets that the Red Sox had a whole ‘nother game to play during which they could’ve still won that series, but they failed to do so, so get over it already, folks…

Just as an aside, Game 7 of the ’86 World Series at Shea Stadium was postponed because of rain on Sunday and wound up being played on Monday night—right up against the "Monday Night Football" game at the Meadowlands between the Redskins and Giants.  At the precise moment the Mets made the final out, the Giants Stadium crowd suddenly erupted in celebration and caused the Redskins to jump offside just as they were about to snap the ball!  This was the one and only time the World Series and "Monday Night Football" have staged games simultaneously in the same city, a feat that could’ve been duplicated last year if the Rockies had gotten the World Series to a fifth game in Denver, as the Broncos played Green Bay on that Monday night.

B.F.D.!
Much ado about nothing this week after a brazen Boston fan/construction worker buried a David Ortiz Red Sox jersey—and a cheap-looking one at that—in the concrete at the new Yankee Stadium in da Bronx.  Construction was immediately halted and they spent five hours jackhammering said concrete to surgically remove the offending garment, as if it would really make any difference anyway.  Now if the guy had buried Ted Williams’ cryogenically-frozen head in the concrete, then we’d have something to talk about…

THROUGH THE PAST, DARKLY
I rented the new DVD "John, Paul Tom & Ringo", featuring the late Tom Snyder’s "Tomorrow Show" interviews with three of the four Beatles—Tom never interviewed George, evidently, hence the title.  The John Lennon segment was far and away the most riveting and poignant, as they included the entire "Tomorrow Show" broadcast from December 9, 1980, during which Tom replayed his 1975 interview with John at the height of his immigration hassles with the U.S. government.  No one knew it at the time, but this turned out to be Lennon’s final TV interview.  The remainder of the 1980 broadcast included Rock journalist Lisa Robinson—who was very close to John and Yoko—and Lennon’s producer Jack Douglas, who was clearly shaken (as we all were, I think) by what had just happened the night before.  Douglas remarked about how Lennon had a fresh outlook on life at the time and was full of optimism for the ‘80s (not just for himself, but for everyone) with songs like "Starting Over" and "Cleanup Time".  Then all that optimism was suddenly shattered by one misguided moron.

Ironically, Snyder’s interview with Paul and Linda McCartney was taped in the aftermath of another Rock ‘N’ Roll tragedy just a year earlier on December 4, 1979, the night after the Cincinnati Who concert debacle (which they discussed briefly), although the show actually aired a couple weeks after that.  I loved Tom Snyder to death, but interviews with musical figures were an Achilles heel for TS, as he often asked inane questions and/or was very unfamiliar with their music.  This was also the first time I’d ever heard Linda McCartney speak at length, and it was funny to hear her half-baked psuedo-British accent.  I thought it was kinda cheesy that they contrived to make this a two-DVD set when there were only three hours’ worth of material that could’ve easily fit onto a single disc, especially since the Ringo Starr interview from 1981 wasn’t anything earth-shattering.  I’d have felt screwed if I’d actually paid for this set, but it’s totally worth renting for the first disc alone.

CLIFF DAVIES, R.I.P.
I just read where former Ted Nugent drummer Cliff Davies committed suicide yesterday at age 59 in Georgia.  Davies—no relation to Ray and Dave Davies of The Kinks or Rick Davies of Supertramp—also produced for Nugent during his heyday, and he and guitarist Derek St. Holmes were the only two who seemed to be able to rein Nugent in when he got too carried away with his histrionics.  It's no small coincidence that the quality of Nugent's records diminished after Davies left the band in 1981.  Cliff was apparently distraught over mounting medical bills and shot himself in the head.  Very sad...

A MOVIE I CAN’T REFUSE
I find myself strangely-drawn to The Godfather movie trilogy these days, especially the first two installments.  I watched them for the first time about a year ago—and wasn’t really all that blown-away by them initially—but now every time I stumble across them on TV, I’m glued to the tube.  What’s more, I’m usually not all that big a fan of excessively-violent shoot-‘em-up flicks (let alone Marlon Brando and his terminal mumbling) and I don’t give a rip about the Mafia, but for some reason I’m fascinated by the Corleone clan.  Maybe it’s Al Pacino’s charisma that somehow makes Michael Corleone a sympathetic character, even though he was cold-blooded enough to have his own brother offed.  Hell, next thing you know, I’ll be watching "The Sopranos"…

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #76
"In The Air Tonight"—PHIL COLLINS (1981)  "I can feel it coming in the air tonight, Oh Lord."  Not sure if it was the agnostic in me or not, but I always thought Phil was singing "Hold on" instead of "Oh, Lord".

THE JOYS OF IPODULARITY
Another cool thing I’ve discovered about Ipods—they make one’s trip to places like Lowe’s hardware much more pleasurable, as they drown out the inevitable screaming children in the store, as well as the incessant overhead pages for customers needing assistance in the "wire-cutting area".

Another fucking countdown...

In an effort to improve even further on this blog's recent off-the-charts rating on the mighty Cuss-O-Meter of 28.7 (the average is 8.0), here are my Top 20 Favorite Songs of All-Time With Cuss Words In Them:

Honorable mentions:
"I Just Wanna"—KISS (1992)  Although it's implied that Paul Stanley sings "I just wanna fuck" here, the official lyric is "I just wanna FUH-get you".  Surely, this was a mere oversight on Paul's part...
"If You See Kay"—APRIL WINE (1983)  Cute title, guys, real cute...
"Play Guitar"—JOHN COUGAR MELLENCAMP (1989)  "Forget all that macho shit and learn how to play guitar."  Methinks the great axe master Mellencamp oughtta take his own advice here...

20) "I"—KISS (1981)  My favorite song off that bad acid trip known as Music From The Elder, it contained the line "...and the balls to stand alone!" which was altered to "...and the guts to stand alone" for TV appearances on "Solid Gold" and "Fridays".
19) "Animal (Fuck Like A Beast)"—W.A.S.P. (1983)  This song caused quite the controversy, to the point where Tipper Gore peed her panties over it and tried (in vain) to get it banned.  Truth to tell, in spite of its title, the song isn't really all that outrageous...
18) "Locomotive Breath"—JETHRO TULL (1971)  In the shuffling madness, the lyric went, "...the all-time winner has got him by the balls...", but Warner Bros. Records panicked and re-issued it on the single as "the all-time winner has got him by the fun".  Huh?
17) "Your Sister Can't Twist (But She Can Rock 'N' Roll)"—ELTON JOHN (1973)  Sir Elton's first recorded profanity:  "I heard of this place at the back of town, where you can really kick the shit when the sun goes down..."
16) "Star Star"—THE ROLLING STONES (1973)  Closing track off the Goat's Head Soup album, this one is better known as "Star Fucker"...
15) "Working Class Hero"—JOHN LENNON (1970)  JL dropped a couple F-bombs in this nasty little diatribe:  "Till you're so fucking crazy you can't follow their rules..." and "But you're still fucking peasants as far as I can see..."
14) "She Loves My Cock"—JACKYL (1992)  I'll take your word for it on that, dude...
13) "Mean Man"—W.A.S.P. (1989)  Actually, that would be "Mean motherfuckin' man..." according to the lyrics...
12) "Tough Guys"—R.E.O. SPEEDWAGON (1980)  "They think they're full of fire--she thinks they're full of shit..."  Great line.
11) "Sinner's Swing!"—VAN HALEN (1981)  "She looks so fucking good, so sexy and so frail..." as Diamond Dave sings.  One of my all-time favorite VH songs...
10) "Money"—PINK FLOYD (1973)  "Don't give me that goody-goody-good bullshit!"  Pink Floyd got away with murder for years on the radio with this line until the whole Janet Jackson boob flap/flapping boob thing that caused paranoia amongst broadcasters fearing huge fines from the FCC for the mere utterance of the word "poop", let alone "shit".
9) "The Devil Went Down To Georgia"—CHARLIE DANIELS BAND (1979)  "I done told you once, you son-of-a-bitch, I'm the best there's ever been..."  Evidently, even Southern Baptist Super-Christians can't even bring themselves to call the devil a son-of-a-bitch, as Charlie D. recorded the tamer "I done told you once, you son-of-a-gun..." version to spare their virgin ears.
8) "The Bitch Is Back"—ELTON JOHN (1974)  For my little ten-year-old ass, this song was a Godsend when it came out, as I was heavily into learning cuss words of any kind at the time.  Great song anyway, cuss word or not...
7) "Piss On The Wall"—J. GEILS BAND (1981)  The closing (and best) track off the classic Geils Freeze-Frame album, singer Peter Wolf pleads for calm as he sings, "Seems like everybody's shakin' 'cus the big one's 'bout to fall, but I'm tryin' to hold it steady while I piss on the wall!"
6) "Rehumanize Yourself"—THE POLICE (1981)  Sting sings "He's got his hand in the air with the other cunts, you got to humanize yourself..."  Only song I know of that contains the word "cunt".
5) "Had It With You"—THE ROLLING STONES (1986)  Jagger wasted no time getting foul here, as the opening line of the song goes, "Well, I love you, dirty fucker..."  Very underrated song, BTW...
4) "The Rodeo Song"—THE PATRIOT BAND (1981)  This Dr. Demento classic may hold the record for the most cuss words in one song!  A little sampling of the lyrics:  "Well, it's 40-below, but I don't give a fuck, got heater in my truck, and I'm off to the rodeo..." and "Piss me off!  Fucking jerk!  Get on my nerves..."  Trust me, it's a funny song...
3) "Mr. Brownstone"—GUNS 'N' ROSES (1987)  I know for a fact that this song accidentally got played on the air at least once on my former radio station, K-Joe 105-FM in St. Joseph, MO by my good friend Easy Earl Harris.  Earl—a black man—was totally unfamiliar with the music of G'n'R, but was happy to oblige a listener who called in to request the song one night, not knowing it contained the lyric, "But that old man, he's a real motherfucker—gonna kick him on down the line..."  After that, I made sure to put a note on the Appetite For Destruction CD, "Do NOT play Track 5!"  Ditto went for Track 7, "You're (fuckin') Crazy"...
2) "Who Are You"—THE WHO (1978)  The 'orrible 'Oo also fell victim to the Janet Jackson thang, so now you get the neutered version of "Who Are You" on the radio, where "Who the fuck are you?" has been eradicated altogether.  Still, it's much better than the "clean" original 1978 single version for which Roger Daltrey had to return to the studio to sing five whole words: "Who the hell are you?"
1) "Stairway To Cleveland"—JEFFERSON STARSHIP (1981)  One of my all-time favorite songs, irregardless of its vulgarity, I just love its hilarious rapid-fire mob vocals from practically the entire group.  This one never got played on the radio thanks to that classic little refrain "Fuck you--We do what we want!"

Come to think of it, that's the basic tenet of this here blog...

Sods and Odds

Random thoughts while I'm being distracted by the NCAA bassit-ball thang...

SPEAKING OF WHICH...
"...after careful deliberation I completed my brackets today, and I have three of the four #1 seeds making the Final Four--Kansas, North Carolina, and Memphis--but UCLA is going to be tripped up by my dark horse, Xavier. Watch out for those mighty Muscatels--er, uh--Musketeers! And even though I'm a Missouri fan, I have Kansas winning the whole shootin' match on the 20th anniversary of the last time they did it. Remember folks, you heard it here first!"—B. Holland, March 17, 2008

Admittedly, I stepped on my winky on that whole Xavier thing, but damned if I didn't get tonight's match-up dead solid perfect in my bracket.  Now if Kansas goes on to win this game, they'll make me look like a genius and break my heart at the same time because I didn't put any money on my brilliant bracket-ology...

POTTY MOUTH!
Thanks to fellow blogger Dr. Sardonicus, I now know where my humble blog stands in terms of vulgarity by way of the Blog Cuss-O-Meter, which measures the relative use of profanity within one's blog or website. According to these folks, the average "Cuss Level" is 8%, and yours truly registered an astounding rate of cussery of 28.7!  What the fuck can I say—that's the way I talk most of the time when I write.  And in the words of the late Redd Foxx, "I'm too old to stand up here and say 'doo-doo'!"

REASON #1,192...
...for why I'm not a religious person:  Today's headline— "Over 400 children taken from Texas polygamist ranch..."  God bless us, one and all, huh?  Obee-kaybee...

EARLY EVENING, APRIL 4...
U2's Bono didn't quite get the time of day right in his lyric for "Pride (In The Name Of Love)", but his heart was in the right place in his tribute to Rev. Martin Luther King.  With Friday being the 40th anniversary of that fateful day in Memphis, there were numerous King documentaries on TV over the weekend, most of which I found to be very educational.  In spite of my bias towards religious figures, I really think MLK was an honorable man (in spite of his flaws), and as a white person whose father is from the "Deep" South, I'm deeply embarrassed by the unbridled bigotry displayed by some of these Southern "authority" figures from the '60s and the way they treated black people back then.  I also think it's very petty the way J. Edgar Hoover and his FBI cronies treated King as if he was a Communist—talk about your raging paranoia!  I tend to agree with the rank and file that James Earl Ray ain't the one who pulled the trigger on April 4, either...

SPEAKING OF UGLINESS...
That's what the Summer Olympics in China are going to be.  Here we are 3-4 months away, and it's already turning into a political free-for-all for these protestors.  I fear Beijing will make Munich look like a pillow fight.  Makes one wonder if the Olympics are even worth staging anymore...

GIVE IT UP, ALREADY!
"The inquest into the death of Princess Diana returned a verdict of unlawful killing Monday, blaming the driving of chauffeur Henri Paul and paparazzi photographers pursuing her car at high speed..."

No shit?  The above headline is from today, not 1998—didn't we already know this for a fact ten years ago?  All this lawsuit shit isn't going to bring Diana back, folks—let her go, for Pete's sake!

HIS HAND IS NOW COLD AND DEAD...
...so feel free to help yourself to charmin' Chuck Heston's gun, if you're so inclined.  Don't mean to sound insensitive here, but as I've stated before on this blog, I'm not one to heap high praise upon someone whom I've disliked just because they're now dead.  While I'm sorry that Heston had to battle Alzheimer's disease—nothing funny about that, whatsoever—to be bluntly honest, he was not one of my favorite people in the world.  Unlike him and other NRA-types, I don't feel compelled to prove my manhood by packing heat...

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #75
"That's The Way I Wanna Rock 'N' Roll"—AC/DC (1988)  "Turn off my brain control..."  Or as dopey me heard it, "Turn off my breaking toe..."

DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN WE THINK...
You want me to do what?!?

"They're Still Standing"--Vol. 2

MAPLE LEAF GARDENSThe big house at 60 Carlton Street in Toronto is one of the true cathedrals of hockey.  Maple Leaf Gardens is one of only two of the longtime “original six” NHL arenas still in existence—along with the Montreal Forum—and sadly it faces a bleak and uncertain future.  In addition to its glorious past, Maple Leaf Gardens also holds the distinction of being the only sports venue that yours truly has ever been kicked out of!  More on that later…

Since the Maple Leafs (not “Leaves”, youse Americans!) moved to the antiseptic and sterile Air Canada Center in February, 1999 along with the NBA’s Raptors, MLG has been dying a slow and painful death.  The team’s owners refuse to sell the building to anyone who would create competition for ACC, so apart from hosting some amateur hockey tournaments, a professional indoor lacrosse team, and rehearsal site for a Rolling Stones tour, Maple Leaf Gardens has rarely been used in the past eight years.  If you want to see what eight years of neglect and decay of an old sports arena looks like, check out the above photo, as well as the photos on this very cool website—it’s not pretty, though.  There are also some recent interior photos of the soon-to-be demolished Memorial Auditorium in Buffalo on this site as well.

But back in the day, MLG housed some mighty fine hockey, particularly in the ‘40s and ‘60s when the Leafs fielded some bad-ass teams featuring the likes of Syl Apps, Ted Kennedy (no, not that Ted Kennedy!), Frank Mahovlich, Red Kelly, Johnny Bower, Dave Keon, Andy Bathgate and the late Tim Horton.  Toronto won 11 Stanley Cups in all at The Gardens, which seemingly hosted "Hockey Night In Canada" every other Saturday.  Ironicially, MLG was also the site of the very first NBA game in 1946 between the Toronto Huskies and New York Knicks.  The NBA returned to MLG in the late ‘90s as the Raptors split time between there and the SkyDome.  MLG was also home to The Who’s final concert on their 1982 “Farewell Tour”.  Ending North American tours in Toronto has become a bit of a tradition with The Who over the years too, as Ontario’s largest city has been their final stop no less than four times throughout their career.

What sucks about big old arenas is it’s hard to find uses for them after they’ve been decommissioned as sports venues.  The Forum in Montreal is so beloved that the people there got creative and came up with a mixed-use concept for the arena after it was gutted, and it now houses a shopping mall and entertainment complex called the Pepsi Forum.  There had been talk in recent years of converting Maple Leaf Gardens into an over-sized grocery store, and that sounds positively icky to me!  I have a better idea—the Hockey Hall of Fame is just a few blocks away from MLG, and while it’s housed in a quaint old building, what better place to have a Hall of Fame than an actual hockey arena?  This would give them room to expand as time goes on, and many of the exhibits could be placed right there on the original floor where the ice surface was.  Sure would be better than a misbegotten behemoth grocery store…

Okay, so what was it that I did to get evicted from MLG, you ask?  Well, during my “The Puck Stops Everywhere” tour in 1994, I very much wanted to see this great hockey shrine, but I knew in advance it would be a tough ticket because the Maple Leafs didn’t sell single-game tickets to their games—it was strictly season tickets across the board.  So, my only option was to frequent a scalper, an activity I normally do not condone, as ticket scalpers to me are a form of subhuman species every bit as low as child molesters, TV evangelists and radio shock jocks.  Against my better judgment, on a sunny March Saturday afternoon, I forked over the then-outrageous sum of $60 (Canuck) for a ticket to that night’s game vs. those dreaded Quebec Nordiques.

It was a shitty seat, to be sure (from which I snapped this photo), at such an angle that I had to keep my head turned at a 45-degree angle to my left to see the ice, and the seat was tiny and the row was cramped—people must’ve been a lot smaller back in the ’20s and ‘30s when they built these old arenas, because I wound up getting to know my neighbors a little more than I would’ve liked while I was there.  Anyway, about midway through the first period, an usher comes down the aisle and motions to me and the guy sitting next to me to come out.  At first, I thought maybe we were in the wrong section, but he looked at our tickets and escorted us out to the concourse where a team official stood with an exasperated “Oh no, not again…” look on his face.  It turns out that the tickets the other guy and I bought were stolen from a season ticket holder, and evidently this was a nightly ritual of having to escort people out who had purchased them on the street.  They told us that if we could point out the scalper on the street to them, they’d bust his ass, but naturally he was long gone and I didn’t remember what he looked like anyway.

To make a long story short, my one and only visit to the famed Maple Leaf Gardens was ever-so-brief.  But hey, at least I got to see the place.  That whole weekend was a bit of a FUBAR, as I made the mistake of waiting until the next morning to try to go up in the CN Tower before I left town, as it was foggy and rainy all day and you couldn’t see a freakin' thing.  But naturally, it was bright and sunny the afternoon before—d’oh!  Toronto is a beautiful city, though, and I hope to get back up there one of these days...

Classic Old-School Store Chain #2

One of my favorite memories of being a kid was when Mom would take me to the Blue Ridge Mall in nearby Independence when I was about 6 or 7.  It was there they had a Newberry's dime store, which was special to me because of the Topps baseball cards they sold.  They didn't just have the packs of ten cards with that yucky stick of gum enclosed—hell, no!  They carried the Topps multi-packs that contained three packs of ten cards in clear cellophane (minus that crappy gum), as well as the cigarette-type packs of 25 cards that always showed one card in the front, so you knew who you were getting!

The Newberry store at Blue Ridge Mall (which looked a lot like the one in this pic before the mall was enclosed in 1971) was a frequent stop for Mom and me when I was little.  What I loved most about it was the escalator that led downstairs to where the baseball cards were--there were up-and-down escalators flanking a stairway that one could take if they felt like walking.  This same escalator/stair set-up endured long after Newberry's closed up shop in the mid-'70s, as that area of the mall was converted into the North Court that housed our favorite video arcade in the early '80s, Space Port (remember all those quarters we wasted there, Tom?), as well as V's Pasta Parlor (or V's Plaster Parlor, as I derisively called it) with its rank Parmesan cheese funking up the whole downstairs area—all of which was eventually replaced by a movie theater that existed until the late '90s.  The escalators and stairs were demolished along with the entire mall in late 2005/early 2006.

During my trip to Cooperstown, NY in 1994, I happened upon a Newberry store just a couple doors down from the Baseball Hall of Fame, and when I walked in, I thought I'd stepped onto a time machine.  The place looked like it hadn't changed hardly at all since the '70s, complete with a lunch counter very similar to the one in this picture.  Naturally, I had a burger, fries and a malt there, and I absolutely loved it!  I believe there are still a few Newberry stores in existence today, and I sure hope that Wal-Mart hasn't totally driven all of them into oblivion...

Heeeeere's Johnny!

My fellow children of the '70s, do you remember this shit?  I've been dying for this old show to re-emerge on DVD.  It hasn't yet, but there's a new site on the 'net where one can view several episodes of this cult classic that I haven't seen since I was about seven when I used to watch it after school on Channel 41 here in K.C.  The new site is called Hulu, and it just debuted about three weeks ago.  It's free to view (although there are commercials mixed in with the videos), and unlike YouTube, it's strictly legitimate shows and movies as opposed to any old loser with a PC and a vidcam.  Lots of old cult classics to be found here, including stuff like "Nanny & The Professor" and "Kojak", and they're constantly adding new titles.  Looks like a winner to me...

Concert Trek - Episode 10

Rollin', rollin', rollin'—keep that trek a-rollin'...

46) Deep Purple/Bad Company (Tuesday, May 5, 1987--Kemper Arena) Ticket price: $15.00

Following that Paul Revere & The Raiders show in July, 1986, yet another unexplained extended period of concert inactivity ensued.  My best guess is I was pre-occupied with my Senior year in college, as well as my internship and subsequent employment at the “Mighty 1030”, KKJC-AM in Blue Springs, MO.  In any event, by May, 1987, I was singing “School’s out forever!”  I didn’t even bother attending my own graduation ceremony, but I digress…

Deep Purple’s second post-reunion album, The House Of Blue Light wasn’t nearly as successful as 1984’s Perfect Strangers, but I really liked it.  I would even submit that it was the last really good album DP ever made, although 1990’s Slaves And Masters with Joe Lynn Turner replacing Ian Gillan on vocals did have its moments.  As for this concert, it was rather so-so.  Much to my chagrin, Purple only played four songs from the new album (“The Unwritten Law”, “Bad Attitude”, “Dead Or Alive” and my favorite, “Hard Lovin’ Woman”), but there were some other good ones like “Black And White”, “Call Of The Wild“ and “Strangeways“ that they could‘ve also done, and I really could‘ve done without the likes of “Child In Time“ and “Lazy” again.  They made up for that a bit by including an old fave that we didn’t hear in ‘85, the mighty “Woman From Tokyo”.

The excitement generated by the reunion of Gillan, Lord, Blackmore, Paice and Glover in 1984-85 was replaced by apathy this time ‘round, as Kemper Arena was only about half-full for this show, and I distinctly remember my friend Tom and I had plenty of empty real estate in the upper deck surrounding us as we were able to stretch our legs out over the row in front of us without pissing anyone off. Speaking of pissing, the other thing I distinctly remember about this concert was the drunk idiot who just couldn’t wait and took a whiz right down the steps in the aisle to our right.  Fortunately, no one was seated anywhere near him, and we made sure to exit to our left.

Just to show you how undistinguished this concert was, I didn’t even remember that Bad Company was the opening act until I perused the log I kept of all the shows I’ve attended.  This was the Brian Howe version of Bad. Co., and sadly, I honestly don’t remember a damn thing about their set.  Please forgive me…

SET LIST:  Highway Star/Strange Kind Of Woman/The Unwritten Law/Dead Or Alive/Perfect Strangers/Hard Lovin' Woman/Knockin' At Your Back Door/Child In Time/Bad Attitude/Lazy/Space Truckin'  ENCORES:  Woman From Tokyo/Black Night/Smoke On The Water


47) Kiss/White Lion (Thursday, November 26, 1987—Kansas Expocentre, Topeka) Ticket price: $14.00

Back in the olden days of the late ‘80s, there weren’t no such thing as the Internet, so news traveled rather slowly around these parts back then.  Under normal circumstances, I wouldn’t have even been aware of a Kiss concert taking place in Topeka, KS, which is a mere 80 miles from Raytown, but as luck would have it, Tom and I attended a Kansas City Comets indoor soccer exhibition game just a month earlier at the brand new Expocentre in the capital of the Land of Oz, and their marquee kept hyping an upcoming show by Kiss on Thanksgiving night.  Well, fuckin’-A, we were there, dude!  We wound up getting pretty decent seats too, just about three rows off the floor on the stage left side, about halfway back from the stage. Too bad the show didn’t live up to my expectations…


The Crazy Nights tour is generally regarded by most fans as the worst Kiss tour ever, and I tend to agree.  The band acted as if they were double-parked out back, as the set lists were generally very short, and the production was rather sparse by Kiss standards.  On some nights, each member of the band took a solo, and on others, they didn’t bother with them, like on this hit-and-run night in Topeka when they barely played an hour and 15 minutes, which didn’t sit well with yours truly.  For this tour, Kiss utilized what I like to call the “CD Stage”, which resembled an giant metal compact disc that had wedged itself into the back of the stage at a 45-degree angle, with Eric Carr’s massive drum set occupying the CD’s “hole”.  And once again, they employed the big, clunky light-up Kiss logo from the Asylum tour, which I never much cared for—again, bigger ain’t necessarily better!

As for the music, “Love Gun” was the opener and “Detroit Rock City” was the closer, which was backwards in my book.  Meantime, they omitted a couple really good tracks off their new album, namely “Hell Or High Water” and “Good Girl Gone Bad”, while “Bang Bang You” (not to be confused with “Gang Bang You”) fell really flat.  Paul Stanley’s standard stage rap about “I went to the doctor today to get myself checked out…” also didn’t ring true when you consider that it was Thanksgiving and there wasn’t a doctor’s office open anywhere near Topeka that day!  Another thing one finds striking when viewing video of this tour is how skinny Gene Simmons was back then—the man looked borderline anorexic!

There was a bit of levity during the encores, as Kiss futzed around with then-current popular hit “La Bamba”, featuring Gene’s horrible Spanish, as well as a few verses of Led Zep’s “Stairway To Heaven” played to a Country beat that was downright hilarious.  Still overall, this was a disappointing show from a band that I’d come to expect a whole lot better from…

SET LIST:  Love Gun/Cold Gin/Bang Bang You/Fits Like A Glove/Crazy Crazy Nights/No No No/War Machine/I Love It Loud/Reason To Live/Heaven's On Fire/Lick It Up  ENCORES:  La Bamba/Stairway To Heaven/Rock And Roll All Nite/Tears Are Falling/Detroit Rock City


Meantime, the Hottest Band In The World was damn near upstaged by its opening act, Pop-Metal upstarts White Lion.  I knew nothing about these guys before this night, but I was very impressed with what I saw from these youngstas.  Singer Mike Tramp bore a passing resemblance to David Lee Roth (minus the spandex), as he proved to be a fine front man, and the crowd responded very positively to these guys as they performed “Wait“, “Tell Me“, and “When The Children Cry“, among others, off their second album Pride.  It was rather fun to watch an up-and-coming band on the verge of stardom.

48) “Monsters Of Rock”—Van Halen/Scorpions/Dokken/Metallica/Kingdom Come (Sunday, July 10, 1988—Arrowhead Stadium) Ticket price: $25.00

A little background first here.  By this time, I was working weekends at KKJO/KSFT in St. Joseph, MO, doing the 50-mile commute back and forth from Raytown to do my graveyard shift gig, and I had to work all night the night before this concert.  I was hoping to at least grab a cat nap when I got back home Sunday morning around 7:30, but my brain was so wired that I don’t think I even nodded off once after I landed in bed.  Thus, I had already been continuously awake since like 5:00 Saturday afternoon when my friends rounded me up for the concert on Sunday, which was slated to begin at 1:30.  Good thing I was young at the time!  In spite of my fatigue, I kept meticulous notes about the show, especially the times when bands came on and off stage.

It was also the end of an era, as this was the last of the all-day multi-act concerts at Arrowhead that I ever attended, and may well have been the last one, period.  There were certainly other concerts there after this one, like The Rolling Stones, The Who, U2, Pink Floyd, Paul McCartney, et al, but this was the last multi-act marathon that I can recall being staged at the home of the Chefs.


The stadium gates opened at 11:30, and we snagged pretty good seats downstairs at stage left about halfway up which would have been 50-yard-line seats for a Chiefs game.  Kingdom Come hit the stage at precisely 1:36PM, and played a 41-minute set.  Critics lambasted KC for sounding like a third-rate Led Zeppelin rip-off, but they weren’t so bad.  Their lead singer Danny Stag (don’t look at me, I didn’t name him!) did sound a might close to Robert Plant at times on their hit “Get It On” from their debut release.  He made some lame comment about turning Arrowhead into a “gigantic rocking unit” as he tried to work the crowd, but overall they were tolerable.


About half-an-hour later, Metallica came on board and played for just over an hour.  This was just before they hit the big-time, so I wasn’t all that familiar with them yet.  I couldn’t quite figure out why singer James Hetfield stood hunched over his microphone like he had the shits, but hey whatever works, I guess.  Metallica is a band I’ve yet to totally embrace—they’re certainly raw enough, just like Motorhead, but their music bores me for some reason.  I don’t relate well to their typical subject matter and they lack Lemmy’s sense of humor too.  Metallica was fairly well-received that day, but their set wasn’t terribly memorable.


Another half-hour passed and Dokken hit the stage around 4:20.  The poor man’s Bon Jovi, so to speak, Dokken were probably at the height of their popularity at the time with hits like “Into The Fire”, “Breaking The Chains” and “Just Got Lucky”, and they were surprisingly tolerable in concert.  Their set was exactly one minute longer than Metallica’s.



As the day wore on, the set changes took longer to execute, and it took 45 minutes to get things lined up for Scorpions, who came on about ten after six and played some “world-class Rock ‘N’ Roll” as the newspaper critic at the time termed it.  They were touring in support of one of their better albums, Savage Amusement, which yielded the hits “Believe In Love” and “Rhythm Of Love”, but they mixed in several old favorites like “Love Drive” and “The Zoo”, which was a highlight of the set.  To put it in their native tongue, Scorpions were fairly wunderbar on this day.


After an interminable set change of over an hour (which might partly have been to allow for the sun to set), Van Halen finally ambled onstage just before 8:30.  Of the three times I saw VH in concert with Sammy Hagar, this one was probably the best.  OU812 was easily my favorite album from the Van Hagar era, and they weren’t shy about playing stuff from it, as five tracks from their new record made the cut, although surprisingly, “Finish What Ya Started” wasn’t one of them.  Another surprise was the inclusion of the David Lee Roth era classic “Runnin’ With The Devil”, which I never thought I’d ever hear Hagar singing.  Eddie Van Halen did his usual 10-minute guitar solo, which I nearly nodded-off during, believe it or not, because I was running on fumes by that time!  For some reason, Hagar kept bitching about the sound being bad that night, and added, “If I’d paid to get in, I woulda been pissed,” but I don’t remember the show sounding bad at all.  This show was certainly an improvement over the bland gig they played two years earlier at Kemper Arena.  Van Halen played an hour and 40 minutes, and the show ended at 10:08PM.  By the time I got home and crashed, I had set my own personal endurance record for continuous sleeplessness of 31 hours and 19 minutes. I think I slept for a week after that…

SET LIST:  Summer Nights/There's Only One Way To Rock/Panama/bass solo/Runnin' With The Devil/Why Can't This Be Love?/Mine All Mine/drum solo/You Really Got Me/Sucker In A 3 Piece/When It's Love/I Can't Drive 55/Best Of Both Worlds/guitar solo/Black And Blue/Ain't Talkin' 'Bout Love  ENCORE:  A.F.U. (Naturally Wired)/Rock 'N' Roll


49) Moody Blues/Cheap Trick/Glass Tiger (Tuesday, August 16, 1988—Sandstone Amphitheater) Ticket price: $5.00

This was by far the strangest triple-bill I’ve ever attended, but a surprisingly good concert all the same.  I’m not quite sure how we came by the $5 tickets, but it cost us just as much to park as it did to get in at that lovely dump called Sandstone Amphitheater.  We arrived just as Glass Tiger was playing their one and only claim to fame “Don’t Forget Me (When I’m Gone)”, so I can’t really comment on their set.


As much as I like Cheap Trick, I’m surprised it took me nearly ten years to see them in concert after becoming a fan.  The Tricksters were riding a wave of resurgence in 1988 with their excellent comeback album Lap Of Luxury, and they played a very good opening set on this night.  Rick Nielsen brought with him his usual flotilla of guitars and trotted a different one out for every song, including a double-necked number that bore his own likeness.  The guy is about a goofy-looking as one can be, but he does play a mean guitar.  “For this next song,” Nielsen said to the crowd, “we all just want to say THANK YOU!” and they launched into “The Flame”, which hit #1 for two weeks in July, and is one of my favorite power ballads of all-time.  CT also did “Never Had A Lot To Lose” (a favorite of mine) and “Let Go” from Lap, as well as their wonderfully silly Elvis cover of “Don’t Be Cruel”, featuring Tom Petersson on his stand-up 12-string electric bass.  Hell, Entwistle never even played 12 strings at once!  Drummer Bun E. Carlos was rock-solid, as always, and singer Robin Zander—when properly motivated—is one of the better front men out there, and he was in fine form during their hour-and-ten-minute set.

SET LIST [In no particular order]:  Just Got Back/On Top Of The World/Let Go/Don't Be Cruel/California Man/The Flame/I Want You To Want Me/Surrender/Ain't That A Shame/Goodnight Now/I Know What I Want/Dream Police/ Never Had A Lot To Lose


Again, how we managed to have such disparate bands as Cheap Trick and the Moody Blues on the same tour is a mystery to me, but no matter, as the Moodies played a fine set of their own, despite focusing mainly on their ‘80s repertoire instead of their classic ‘60s/70’s work.  Surprisingly, they only performed three songs off their newest record Sur La Mer (that’s “on the sea” in French for youse Americans), including the hit single “I Know You’re Out There Somewhere”.  Nice song, but it was too long and drawn-out for my liking—it kept going around in a circle, and they could’ve easily lopped 2-3 minutes off the song and still gotten their point across.  Same goes for John Lodge’s “Talking Out Of Turn” from Long Distance Voyager.

This turned out to be the final tour for keyboardist Patrick Moraz (big hair dude standing on the left in the pic), whose synthesizers more or less replaced his predecessor Mike Pinder’s signature mellotron sound.  That was fine for the ‘80s, but not for their older tunes.  Speaking of which, singer/percussionist Ray Thomas nearly brought the house down with his flute solo during his classic “Legend Of A Mind”, while “Tuesday Afternoon”, “Nights And White Satin” and “I’m Just A Singer (In A Rock ‘N’ Roll Band)” more than made up for all that ‘80s stuff they played.  “Ride My See-Saw” and “Question” made for a nice one-two punch during the encore, too.  Not a bad concert for five bucks, either!

SET LIST [In No Particular Order]:  Gemini Dream/The Voice/Here Comes The Weekend/I Know You're Out There Somewhere/The Other Side Of Life/Your Wildest Dreams/Want To Be With You/Tuesday Afternoon/Rock And Roll Over You/New Horizons/Isn't Life Strange?/Question/Nights In White Satin/Veteran Cosmic Rocker/Legend Of A Mind/Ride My See-Saw/Talking Out Of Turn/I’m Just A Singer (In A Rock ‘N’ Roll Band)

50) Chicago/Henry Lee Summer (Sunday, August 21, 1988—Sandstone Amphitheater) Ticket price: Free

During the summer of ‘88 while working at the radio station in St. Joseph, I enjoyed the perks of having connections to free tickets to stuff at St. Joseph Civic Arena like midget wrestling and the closed-circuit TV viewing of the Mike Tyson-Michael Spinks boxing match that lasted all of a minute-and-a-half (which some fools paid $3,000 to get into in Vegas).  We also had access to free Sandstone tickets at the radio station, so I snagged one to this concert.  Unfortunately, it came up on such short notice that I couldn’t round up anyone else to go with, so this was the first concert I ever attended alone.

John Cougar Mellencamp wanna-be Henry Lee Summer opened the show.  Like Mellencamp, Summer also hailed from Indiana, and to my surprise, he was actually rather tolerable in concert.  He managed to develop a good rapport with the audience and played a fairly spirited set, which he capped off with his big radio hit “I Wish I Had A Girl (Like That)”, complete with all its inherent “Check it out, Leroy”s—whoever the hell Leroy is.  HLS later joined Chicago onstage for a number during their set.  All in all, he wasn’t bad—especially for a Mellencamp wanna-be…
Chicago had been through numerous personnel changes since the death of guitarist Terry Kath in 1978.  Their sound also changed as they went from a jazz/rock outfit in the ‘70s to an adult contemporary group in the early ‘80s, with bassist Peter Cetera being the focal point, but at least they were still numbering their albums and were up to Chicago 18 on this tour.  Cetera got a big ego and struck out on his own for a solo career (with varying degrees of success), so they replaced him with the virtual sound-alike, Jason Scheff (son of musician Jerry Scheff from Elvis’ touring band).  Vocalist/keyboardist Bill Champlin joined the early ’80s, and guitarist Dawayne Bailey came on board in 1986.  Bailey had previously toured with Bob Seger, and had local ties, as he was born in Manhattan, KS and lived for a time in Bonner Springs—where the venue is located—so this show was a homecoming of sorts for him.

As for the show, Champlin traded lead vocals with Scheff and founding member/ keyboardist Robert Lamm throughout the night.  Scheff sounded like a dead ringer for Cetera on the old hits like “Saturday In The Park” and “25 Or 6 To 4”, the latter of which they restored to its proper original glory instead of the bastardized 1987 remake version they made.  One glaring omission from the set list was the classic “Feelin’ Stronger Every Day”, but I was surprised at the inclusion of “Dialogue (Parts I & II)” as well as the rather obscure “Free“ from Chicago III.  Although the focus was mostly on their ‘80s stuff (just like with the Moody Blues five nights earlier), Chicago’s famed horn section of James Pankow, Lee Loughnane and Walt Parazaider did get to show off the band’s signature sound now and then on songs like “Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?” and “Beginnings”.  Pankow, in particular, was rather animated as he played his trombone, using it as an extension of his manhood at times, you might say!  By the way, has anyone ever actually Parazaided before?!?  Did they live to tell about it?

The band Chicago is also rather infamous for affecting Kansas City weather—virtually every time they come town, it rains whenever they play outdoors!  I remember one time about ‘78 or ‘79 when they played at then-Royals Stadium with Santana, and a deluge of Biblical proportions ensued.  Well, sure as shit, about midway through Chicago’s set at Sandstone, it began to sprinkle, prompting Robert Lamm to incredulously ask, “Is it raining again?!?”  The crowd responded in the affirmative and he said in mock disgust, “Dammit! It always rains when we come here.”  I like it when a band remembers previous shows/tours they’ve done.  The rain was actually welcome on this night too, as we were smack dab in the middle of some serious drought conditions around these parts at the time.  In any event, this wasn’t a bad concert at all, especially for free.

SET LIST [In no particular order]:  Get Away/Hard Habit To Break/Heart In Pieces/Stay The Night/Does Anybody Really Know What Time It Is?/Just You 'N" Me/Beginnings/I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love/I Stand Up/25 Or 6 To 4 (1970 version)/Will You Still Love Me/Saturday In The Park/Dialogue (Parts I & II)/It's Alright/Free/Hard To Say I'm Sorry/I Can't Turn You Loose (w/Henry Lee Summer)

Oh by the way—would you believe we’re barely halfway through this little excursion?

Y'ever notice...

...the uncanny similarity between the voice of our current President and that of the infamous Charles Manson?  I was watching a show on History Channel yesterday about Manson, and later on ol' Dubya was on the Sunday Night Baseball game on ESPN, and I finally made the connection.  Watch this video of Charlie, and you can practically hear Dubya talking when he says things like, "Remorse for what?" and "I haven't done anything I'm ashamed of."

I'm a blogger, not a fighter!

HELL YES, I'M STILL HERE!
Sorry I've been so long away from my bloggery duties, but I've been a bit pre-occupied with other stuff this week, like rearranging my house in anticipation of various upcoming home improvement projects, as well as some major vacation planning for later this summer, thus my creative juices haven't been flowing while my feeble brain has been concentrating on the above.

SPEAKING OF BRAINS...
I will never ever eat that Southern delicacy known as brains & eggs, mostly because as the old axiom goes, a mind is a terrible thing to taste...

A LITTLE ROCK TRIVIA FOR YOU...
Can you name the only rock group whose four members are all dead, and one of whom was shot to death?  Answer below...

PUT A SOCK IN IT, JASON!
Time for another rant on Kansas City Star sports columnist Jason Whitlock.  Earlier this week, the Flatulent One wrote a column about the whole Barack Obama/Rev. Wright flap—what this has to do with sports, I haven't a clue—during which he prefaced his comments with the following:  "I am not political. Dishonesty is so pervasive within politics that I practice abstinence.  Conservative and liberal ideologies are the enemies of common sense.  I’m a nonvoting, casual observer."  Okay, Tubbo—if you aren't even going to get off your fat ass and exercise your hard-earned right to vote, then I don't see where you have any right to bitch about anything!  It's this kind of prevailing attitude that continues to set black people back about a hundred years.  Crude as he was, the late Richard Pryor was abso-fucking-lutely right when he said, "This could be a whole state of [N-words] if y'all would start votin'!"

As for Obama, let's just say this whole thing taints his candidacy in my eyes if he did indeed fervently follow this "man of God" who urges "damning America to hell."  Obama had been my front-runner, but after this I have question his legitmacy at this point.  Why the fuck has it all come to this?  Hillary's no option in my book—I can't take any more Clinton shenanigans in the White House.  If you think about it, since 1981 there's been either a Bush or a Clinton in the White House, going back to when Mr. "Thousands Points of Light" was VP for Ronald Ray-Gun, and I think it's high-time for some fresh blood, but McCain ain't the answer for me either.

Fuck it, maybe I'll just move to Canada instead.  Anyone know if there's some cheap housing to be had in Moose Jaw or Medicine Hat?  At least the have hockey up there in abundance.  Now, where'd I put my tuque?

HELLO, NORMA JEAN
I was watching part of A&E's "Biography" show today on Marilyn Monroe, and wondered if there's anyone else out there besides me who finds her far more attractive as a brunette?  They showed numerous photos of her before she became famous when she had dark brown hair, and she was a total babe!  Granted, I'm more partial to dark-haired women and redheads to begin with, but I never much cared for Monroe as a blonde—it looked too phony and made her look like an airhead, and based on what they said about her on the show, she was a lot smarter than people gave her credit for.

RIDIN' THE TICKET PRICES OUT...
R.E.O. Speedwagon tickets for their upcoming show at Ameristar Casino here in K.C. start at $60!  I've seen Speedwagon twice, and I don't think I even paid half that much for those two shows.  What's worse, R.E.O. has played at least half a dozen shows in the past two years either in Kansas City proper or within a 70-mile radius of the city (including two at Ameristar), so I find it hard to believe there's that big a demand to see them again.  Talk about your chuztpah...

(I THOUGHT) I HEARD IT ON THE X...
Well, damn—so much for Xavier making the Final Four in the NC-bubble-A bassit-ball tournament (as I predicted), as the Muscatels were summarily whooped by UCLA earlier tonight.  Up until that point, my Final Four was still intact.  A word of warning for Kansas tomorrow:  Be on your toes, you Jayhawks, 'cuz Davidson ain't just happy to be here—they're dead serious about winning!  Too bad Davidson doesn't have anyone named Harley on their team...

FROM FIRST TO WORST!
Congrats go out from yours truly to Gene Simmons of Kiss.  It took him 32 years to go from being my favorite member of the Hottest Band In The World to my least favorite member of The Hottest Band In The World.  It's been a long but steady plunge for the man with the tongue, but he finally supplanted Vinnie Vincent at "Rock Bottom" of my Kiss member appreciation list, thanks in large part to his A&E "Gene Simmons Family Jewels" reality TV show and appearing on douche-bag Donald Trump's "Celebrity Apprentice" crapfest, not to mention his attempted disavowing of the recently-unearthed "sex video" featuring him doing the wild thing with some groupie to the tune of Foreigner's "I Want To Know What Love Is".  Gene's constant criticism of Ace Frehley and Peter Criss don't rate no brownie points with me, either.  At the risk of sounding too negative here, I will give Gene and girlfriend Shannon Tweed credit for one thing:  At least their kids seem infinitely more well-adjusted than Jack and Kelly Osbourne.  Still, it's beyond the shadow of a doubt that G. Simmons is a complete and total dickweed.

Brian Holland's Favorite Member of Kiss List, Past or Present
(Current standings)
1) Ace Frehley
2) Eric Carr (Rest his soul)
3) Eric Singer
4) Peter Criss
5) Bruce Kulick
6) Tommy Thayer
7) Paul Stanley (and falling fast)
8) Vinnie Vincent
9) Gene Simmons

NOTE:  I don't include the late Mark St. John on this list since he with the band for such a short time that I never really formed an opinion on him one way or the other.

CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #74
"Roadhouse Blues"—THE DOORS (1970)  "Back at the roadhouse, they got some bungalows..."  Or as I once interpreted Big Jim's words, "Back at the roadhouse, they got someone who knows..."

YOUR SCHOOL TAX DOLLARS AT WORK
I snapped this pic today at a used car emporium about two blocks from my house.  Nice to see the spelling curriculum is producing honor students these days...






ROCK TRIVIA ANSWER
Mount Rushmore. I didn't say anything about rock music trivia, now did I?