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SO LONG, "BUD"
Was saddened to learn of the death of Calvert DeForest, aka Larry "Bud" Melman of David Letterman Show fame. He was a funny little dude in the same way the late Jackie Wright was on "The Benny Hill Show"—he was the little bald man Benny was constantly slapping on the head—just by way of his mannerisms and facial expressions, not to mention that goofy voice of his! "Bud" died Monday at the age of 85 in New York. Rest in peace, "Bud"...
OH, THE PAIN…
Had a real bad headache early yesterday afternoon at work that seemed to coincide with Dubya’s visit to Kansas City to waste good taxpayer money on his security escort just to make a speech that no one believes anyway to a bunch of auto workers who will probably be laid off next week. Headache went away as soon as he left town. I seem to remember that Daphne on "Frasier" had a similar affliction every time Lillith came to Seattle…
"SUNSHINE ON MY SHOULDERS…
…makes me sunburned…Sunshine in my eyes can make me blind…" That’s my #2 all-time John Denver parody. I think it was Arte Johnson on some variety show (Sonny & Cher, maybe?) back in the mid-‘70s.
Here’s my # 1 all-time John Denver parody, courtesy of Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Just scan down to the one at the bottom of the page. Not quite as funny since he actually died, though…
And here’s my #3 below: 
Don't mean to pick on JD—just having a little fun here. I’ve actually learned a new respect for his music over the years, even though I do admit to ripping on him pretty good back in the day—it was very uncool to be a John Denver fan when I was in Jr. High in the late ‘70s! Songs like "Take Me Home, Country Roads" and "Rocky Mountain High" certainly hold up well after 30 some-odd years, and I think the very underrated "Calypso" was John’s finest hour. I can honestly say that yodeling never sounded better to me than it does on that record, and it’s a really beautiful song. Ol’ Jacques Gusto was surely humbled by it, too.
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #19
"(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction"—ROLLING STONES (1965) "I’m watching my TV, and a man comes on and tells me how white my shirts could be…" Dopey me—I actually thought Mick was referring to some bigoted TV preacher making some sort of racial commentary, "how white my church could be." After all, that song did come out during the heart of the Civil Rights Movement.
FUNNY STORY
Was reminded today of a humorous incident about ten years ago when I worked in the x-ray film library at St. Luke’s Hospital. I was standing in the file room one day near the "J’s", when one of the resident docs. (a male) comes up beside me and says, "Excuse me, I just need to squeeze in here and grab one of these Johnsons." To which I replied, "Fine, so long as you don’t grab mine…"
The worst seque from one song to another in the history of radio occurred one afternoon in early June, 1989 on K-JO 105 FM in St. Joseph, MO, barely more than 24 hours after I’d handed in my notice there. Imagine, if you will, grooving to Deep Purple’s "Smoke On The Water" (the infinitely superior live Made In Japan version, no less) and then being abruptly thrown into Wham’s "Careless Whisper". I’m not making this up—it really happened. The crowd noise following Ritchie Blackmore’s climactic crashing chord hadn’t even begun to fade when the listener was immediately launched into the lush saxophone intro to one of the wimpiest songs of the ‘80s—talk about stripping one’s musical gears! One of my biggest pet peeves with radio stations is when they play a hard-rocking song, then bring you crashing back down to earth with something wussy next. There’s such a thing as FLOW, and I always made sure to put on something like The Doors’ "Love Me Two Times" after a really heavy song to cushion the fall before playing something wimpy. The DJ who executed the above bon mot seque—whom I’ll simply refer to as "Mildred" to avoid lawsuits—knew absolutely nothing about flow.
Since I’m on the subject anyway, it’s time for me to take out some mental garbage here and vent my wrath on a couple people at my former radio station whom I never properly told to "piss off!" It’s kinda long, and a bit self-indulgent, so I’ll leave it up to you, gentle reader, whether to pass or play…
Mildred is a woman I have precious few good things to say about. At the time I worked with her, she was a late-30-something Bette Midler wanna-be who would often go around the station singing "Wind Beneath My Wings", and was our music director at K-JO—in name only, that is. She’s one of these people who wanted all the glory in radio, but didn’t want any of the work that went with it—sort of a female equivalent of Dr. Smith on "Lost In Space". She was not only lazy, but chronically late. In fact, after my very first airshift ever at K-JO, she was due to follow me on the air at 6AM on Saturday, and I actually had to call her at home and wake her up around 6:15—having never even MET the woman before! She was quite the partier too, and I seem to remember she had a penchant for calling in sick a lot, for a variety of excuses—everything from hangovers to hangnails. She and I never really hit it off, and our working relationship was strained, at best, throughout my brief tenure there.
What drove a permanent wedge between me and Mildred was her PM drive shift show appropriately called the "Afternoon Barnyard"—you always felt like you'd stepped in something while listening to it! On the AM side in the weeks leading up to the big format switcheroo (see my January 27th entry "Radio Ga-Ga, Part 2" for the details on that), she and another jock whom I’ll call "Dork" tried (and failed miserably) to really yuk it up on their show with these half-baked David Letterman Top Ten List rip-offs, many of which included jokes at MY expense! I’m not talking good-natured ribbing here, but rather snarky sophomoric barbs about things I did on the air, including my nightly rundown of the hockey and basketball scores. In my defense, what else did I have to talk about at 2:00 in the morning, the fucking dew point?!? Now I can take a joke, and I sure don’t mind a little harmless jibe or two directed my way now and then, but this shit got downright vicious and personal towards me at times, and it was totally uncalled-for. It’s one thing to razz someone from a rival station, but have you ever heard of radio personalities constantly targeting someone from their own station? I took it up with the station manager and he got Mildred and Dork to cease and desist aiming their verbal bazookas at me, but the damage was already done. I never even received an apology from either one of them...
Just as an aside, Dork—an average DJ, at best—is another phony person I encountered along the way in radio. Tipping the scales at well over 325 pounds, Dork did a ludicrous series of commercials for some weight loss outfit in which he bragged about how many pounds and inches he’d supposedly lost. "Look behind you, Dork, and you’ll find them," I would often grumble to myself as I played those ads on the air. Many’s the night I had to clean up after this Neanderthal, as he’d always trash the studio with empty Dorito bags, candy bar wrappers and Mountain Dew cans. He also made the mistake of leaving copies of his resume that he was shopping around to other stations laying around the studio one night, one of which I still have in my possession. He puffed his experience and credentials up more than the Michelin Man, and it was laughable how he claimed to single-handedly "bring in strong numbers" during his airshifts. I hadn’t seen a load of bullshit like that since that time the manure truck fell over on the highway—his ratings were no better than mine were on graveyard shift! But I digress…
Getting back to Mildred, her exploits were fairly humorous. She did not use her regular speaking voice on the air, but rather she put on this fake macho bravado tough-broad tone that made her sound like Pinky Tuscadero from "Happy Days" (minus the Brooklyn accent), thus rendering her kinda butch and slutty-sounding at the same time. I never understood why she didn’t just use her regular speaking voice, which was actually quite pretty—think Roz on "Frasier", only more soft-spoken. Hell, about the highest compliment I can give Mildred is that she had a lovely speaking voice in normal conversation. She could have excelled at being a phone sex operator—she probably does now, come to think of it! I also loved how she would mispronounce easy words when she did commercials, like "cooking", which came out "KOOKing", and "Jacuzzi", which she pronounced "ja-CUE-zi"!
Among her other peccadilloes, Mildred often would borrow equipment from the station to do her own personal moonlighting DJ gigs, and one Tuesday evening in November, she came barging into the studio and proceeded to unplug the cassette player that I was currently using to record election returns for later broadcast. I found out later after I left the station for good that she went around claiming that she "blew me out" (that’s radio talk for "fired"), which is a total fucking lie—I resigned that job and everybody in the building knew I was going to before it happened. I can honestly state that I have NEVER been fired from any job in my life, either. Oh well, what goes around comes around, because about a year or so after my departure, Mildred got knocked up by one of the part-time weekend DJs there, thus her partying days came to a crashing halt. Not long after that, Mildred got fired after she was caught in a big lie over some equipment she "borrowed" from the station and never returned, as well as attempting to gaslight my good friend Easy Earl by trying to implicate him for it. Earl is as honest as Joan Rivers is ugly, and the station manager knew he wasn’t lying when Mildred tried to make him take the rap for her misdoings, so they booted her lazy ass out the door. When I heard that piece of news, I laughed. Hard.
What a waste of pretty red hair, too…
NCAA TOURNEY UPDATE
Well, in spite of my poor showing during Friday's games, 10 out of my Sweet Sixteen teams are still in the show, thus I have only one less team remaining than ESPN's Dan Patrick. Unfortunately, Wisconsin isn't one of them, so there goes my Final Four. I still say UNC's gonna win it all...
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #18
"You Don’t Mess Around With Jim"—JIM CROCE (1972) "…and you better believe they sung a different kind of story with Big Jim hit the floor." I always he was referring to a newspaper and said, "you better believe the Sunday Journal got a story…"
Man, could that dude write some great songs, or what? He died long before he would have peaked, I think. And why the filth-flarn-filth isn't HE in the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame yet?
NUMBER 32!
You can add American Beauty to my Top 30 Most Overrated Movie list. I just watched it yesterday for the first time, and I'd really like a detailed explanation about how this piece of cinematic caca won Best Picture at the Oscars in 2000. There was not one single solitary likeable character in this whole blasted film! Kevin Spacey is kind of a weasel too, and I think Annette Bening is way overrated. I actually liked Borat better than this disasterpiece. Yeesh!
EXTREME MAKEOVER-COURTROOM EDITION
Check out the spectre of Phil(lis) Spector all this week on Court TV!
March, 1982 was a rough month in the entertainment world. John Belushi died on March 5, and it was 25 years ago today we lost one of the most phenomenal Rock guitar players of all-time, Mr. Randy Rhoads. With all of Ozzy Osbourne’s notoriety, Rhoads has been virtually forgotten over the years, and I find that very sad. He was the Stevie Ray Vaughan of heavy metal, both in terms of his musical prowess and the manner in which he died, and to lose him at the age of 25 was a crushing blow for Rock ‘N’ Roll.
When Ozzy first went solo in late 1980, I couldn’t stand him. I hadn’t really gotten in to the back catalog of Black Sabbath yet (all I knew of them at the time was "Iron Man" and "Paranoid" and the newer stuff with Dio on vocals), and I was pretty repulsed by Ozzy’s biting-the-head-off-the-dove thing. "Crazy Train" really didn’t really blow me away at first, either, but when I first heard that chugga-chugga-chugga intro riff from "I Don’t Know", I was immediately hooked! I said, "Whoa—who is that guitar player?" Not long after that, the second album, Diary Of A Madman, came out with "Over The Mountain", "Flying High Again" and "You Can’t Kill Rock ‘N’ Roll", and I realized then that this guy was something special. Randy played so aggressively, yet very melodically at the same time, and made some amazing sounds with his fingers, not unlike Jimi Hendrix once did. Even I had forgotten that Randy was in the original lineup of Quiet Riot—I’ve never heard any of that material before. The man was an amazing talent, yet he’s never truly been given his due.
Based on everything I’ve heard and read about him, Randy Rhoads was a really good human being, too. Mature beyond his years, and seemingly totally devoid of ego, he wasn’t your stereotypical arrogant Rock star partier, and he didn’t allow Ozzy’s legendary excesses to corrupt him. He had a steady girlfriend and was real close with his mom, too. With all the assholes (Axl Rose), talent-less posers (Kid Rock) and overblown egos (David Coverdale) in Rock ‘N’ Roll, it sucks that much more when the truly good guys like RR are taken away so soon—S.R.V., Eric Carr of Kiss and Jim Croce being a few other prime examples. What’s worse, Randy’s death was so utterly senseless! By all accounts, RR had an aversion to flying, so why the hell was he even on that plane in the first place? And of course, the pilot had a couple major malfunctions, A) his pilot’s license had expired, and B) he had Cocaine in his system—a fine time to go around buzzing the trees and the parked tour bus that Ozzy was sleeping in. We could have lost Ozzy that day too. What an absolutely needless waste…
One wonders what Randy Rhoads might have gone on to do in his career. I imagine he would have eventually outgrown Ozzy and/or grown tired of his shenanigans and either formed his own band or had a successful solo career—a Ted Nugent of the '80s, if you will (minus the arrogant macho bravado). Hell, it's no big stretch to think he would have easily supplanted Eddie Van Halen and the ultimate Rock guitar god. In any event, he’s deeply missed.
"ROME IS BURNING"
So said Pete Townshend, a keynote speaker at this week's 21st annual South By Southwest Music conference in Austin, TX (aka, "SxSW"), accurately summing up the current state of the music industry. Music moguls are bemoaning the worst month on record in January, with a sales drop of 40% compared to ten years ago. All the record companies are pissing their pants over this and don't have a clue what to do about it.
May I make a little suggestion? TRY PUTTING OUT A BETTER PRODUCT! Look at the new music we have to pick from these days—crappy lip-synchers, boy bands, Hip-Hop/Rap crap, "American Idol" castoffs and people like Rod Stewart warbling cover versions of Geritol-generation songs (this is the same guy that did "Hot Legs"?). I'd really like to see the record company suits encourage classic Rock bands to put out NEW material again. Apart from that new (underwhelming) Who CD, I can't remember when I bought a CD of new material from any of my favorite bands in the last five years—all the product out there now is nothing but greatest hits and re-issues! Take Kiss for example: Since their last album of new material—Psycho Circus in 1998—there have been four best-of releases, a box set, and a live CD. Hell, the Moody Blues have more greatest hits albums now than they have original studio albums!
I'd also like to see the music industry do a better job of finding talented bands and nurturing them. I'm fucking desperate for a good young Rock band—a 21st Century equivalent to Van Halen, let's say—because I'm so sick of this White Trash noise that passes for Rock today like Korn, Limp Biskit and Godsmack. Surely, the music industry can at least come up with something better than Kid Rock!
SPEAKING OF CDs...
One greatest hits CD I did buy this week was by a Kansas City band named Shooting Star. For the uninitiated out there, Shooting Star was sort of a poor man's Kansas, only a little edgier, who kinda sorta hit it big around these parts in the early '80s. It was great to hear some stuff again that I hadn't heard in ages like "Hang On For Your Life" and "Hollywood", and my favorite of theirs, "Bring It On".
Shooting Star was a bit of a missing link in my oversized CD collection, but given the dearth of good new material from my favorite bands, and given the same old shit ad nauseam on the radio, revisiting the past is about my only option for finding good stuff to listen to. Toward that end, I also recently set about to play every CD I own back-to-back alphabetically by artist. I started with AC/DC about a month ago, and I'm only up to Deep Purple so far, which gives you an idea how ridiculously large my collection is. I could literally start my own radio station, if I wanted to...
SPEAKING OF CDs..., PART II
You want to know who the most evil bastard in the world is. No, it's NOT Osama bin Laden or Dick Cheney or even Dubya. No, it's the horse's patoot who invented those damn label things they seal CDs and DVDs with! I've spent countless hours fighting with those modern inconveniences just to get to my new CDs/DVDs. String the fucker up by his nut sack, I say!
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #17
Special guest contributor time for this one: Billy Joe Jim-Bob, a redneck from Belton, MO, who called up Skid Roadie (my #2 favorite DJ of all-time, behind Randy Raley) on 101, The Fox one day, and said, "Could you play that song—I think it's by one of them guys in The Who—all about livin' in the Bronx?" Well, it took Skid a few minutes to decipher which song that was, which of course, is "Eminence Front" (1982)! Simply replace the chorus with "Livin' in the Bronx/Livin' in the Bronx..." It's a put-on, alright! And Billy Joe's day was made...
YOU TUBE RULES!
Unless you’ve been in a cave with the current Geico spokespeople for the last year or so, you’ve no doubt paid a visit or two to YouTube on the ‘net. As time goes on, it gets better and better as more stuff gets added to the site. I initially only thought of it as merely a place where people post their amateur webcam videos—it didn’t occur to me until just recently what a treasure trove of stuff from TV and movies can be found on it.
I spent several blissful hours the other night watching old videos from the early MTV days that I hadn’t seen in years—Bow Wow Wow, for instance—as well as some long lost video clips of Paul Revere & The Raiders from the ‘60s that I haven’t seen since I was like five years old, if I ever saw them at all. I also enjoyed some Van Halen videos from back in the day, too, like "Hear About It Later" and "Unchained", et al, the likes of which they SHOULD have used at the Hall of Fame thing the other night, as well as several professionally-shot bootleg vids. Most boffo...
We'd best enjoy YouTube while we can, though—it's only a matter of time before they Napster-ize it and make it a pay-per-view site…
Time to get serious for a bit, here. I've been doing a lot of thinking this week about Brad Delp's suicide last weekend. It's one of those deals that just leaves you scratching your head.
Personality-wise, the members of Boston were always kind of a mystery to me. Unlike other groups of that era like Kiss, Van Halen, Aerosmith, et al, about whom I knew pretty much all there was to know, Boston kinda flew under the radar, thus I knew very little about Brad Delp's personal life prior to this week. All accounts have painted him as a truly nice man who was most accomodating to his fans and very cooperative to work with as a musician, and we already know that he was a talented individual, and well-respected in music circles. He evidently took care of himself (he was a vegetarian), had no apparent alcohol or drug problems, and his family life seemed on the upswing with his impending marriage.
So what on earth was it that led to him taking his own life in such a pre-meditated way? Based on the contents of the suicide notes he left behind, Delp was bound and determined to kill himself, going so far as having a "Plan B" in case "Plan A" failed. It's hard to believe that there were no outward signs of how deep his depression was, although some people are very adept at masking such things, I guess. Unless I'm missing some important details here, Brad Delp apparently had no "cry for help" in the days/weeks leading up to his death. It'd be easy to say that he just "snapped", but given the meticulous nature and thoroughness of his suicide—he even had the consideration to warn the EMT's about potential carbon monoxide danger in one of his notes—this doesn't strike me as an impulsive act. I can only speculate that something in the wiring of his brain just went terribly wrong a while back and it just festered because it's like he went out of his way to kill himself, and that's what makes this whole thing so bizarre.
I've fought depression off-and-on for years, but I have never even approached that level of despair to the point of wanting to just end it all, and even if I did approach that level, I'd like to think that I would at least try to seek help first. I don't think I'd have the guts to commit suicide, anyway, but if I ever try it, I hope someone's there to head me off at the pass. Brad Delp had no such guardian angel, apparently.
Rest in peace, Brad.
The hair, I mean, not Macy Gray! Don't tell me she actually paid someone to do that to her hair...
Looks like she also had some sort of waredrobe malfunction 
there.
And here we have Phil(lis) Spector, who apparently frequents the same salon!
GET WELL SOON, ROGER
The Who's Roger Daltrey barely got through one song last night in Tampa before they had to pull the plug on the concert because he's battling bronchitis—most definitely a hindrance to singing! I wish him well and a speedy recovery, although I still haven't totally forgiven Rog for some rather disparaging remarks he made about John Entwistle following his untimely death, as well as Daltrey's refusal to take part in the 2005 DVD documentary on The Ox. At least Pete Townshend was accomodating enough to participate and honor the greatest bass player/connect-the-dots artist that ever lived. Come on, Roger—lighten up!
"ANGELINA JOLIE IN VIETNAM TO PICK UP NEW CHILD"
If I may quote the above-mentioned Chairman Townshend: "Why should I care? WHY should I care?"
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #16
"Elected"—ALICE COOPER (1972) "Kids need a savior—don’t need a fake." I always thought he was singing "Don’t be afraid," which would fit in there fine, but I guess "don’t need a fake" works okay. Killer song, too...
While I’m on the subject of Alice, have you ever noticed that odd "click" sound near the end of "Be My Lover"? It comes right after Alice sings, "and I’m still on my own." Seems that the drummer was being a hot dog in the studio and started twirling his sticks as if he was on-stage, and he fumbled…
THE DAY THE MUSIC WAS SHOT?-UPDATE
Well, whaddya know? The Big Bopper died as a result of the plane crash, not gunfire! YA THINK?!? If you want details, you can read all about it here. You see, the plane fell out of the sky, hit the ground real fucking hard and he died, just like Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the pilot did. Damn, I should work in forensics! Anyway, there was no gunfire, and even if there was, does it really even matter now, 48 years after the fact? This whole exhumation exercise was about as pointless as waving at Stevie Wonder…
Normally, I try to avoid the subject of "reality" TV, but I got a chuckle out of the ad in ‘Entertainment Weakly’ for ABC’s "Dancing With The Has-Beens", and its line-up of "stars":
Apolo Anton Ohno: He’s that Olympic fast-track speed-skater dude, so falling on his ass will be nothing new to him—it’s the norm rather than the exception in that sport.
Billy Ray Cyrus: Ol’ Mullet Head? Delicious irony here—during a live version of his hit "Memphis In The Meantime", my man John Hiatt once sang, "I don’t think Billy Ray Cyrus is gonna ever record this song…" in place of his original Ronnie Milsap lyric, and also facetiously tacked on, "But, oh how that man could dance!"
Heather Mills: One-legged gold-digger who wants to put Paul McCartney in the poor house? If this bitch can suddenly dance, then what the hell does she need handicapped tags on her car for? She’s officially listed as "Activist" in the print ad. Ralph Nader’s an activist too, but that doesn’t make him a "star" (or a dancer).
Ian Ziering: Blondie from "90210"? Ten years ago, one might have considered him to be a star of at least minor magnitude, but pretty much all the of the "90210" gang are has-beens now…
Joey Fatone: Who? Is that pronounced "Fa-tony" or "Fat-One"? Isn't he one of the "Sopranos"? Oh wait—he was with N'Snyc. Same thing...
John Ratzenberger: Loved him as Cliffy, but "Cheers" went off the air 15 years ago. Apart from his voice-over work in the Toy Story flicks, he hasn't done squat since...
Laila Ali: The chick boxer? Well, her old man was a pretty good dancer…
Leeza Gibbons: Former "Entertainment Tonight" part-timer and cheesy talk show hostess? Yep, she’s a hoofer, alright…
Paulina Porizkova: Scrawny supermodel most famous for being married to equally-
scrawny Ric Ocasek of The Cars? Hardly an A-lister...
Who they gonna trot out for next season, the "Dude, you're getting a Dell!" guy? Come to think of it, it's not a stretch to imagine a lineup that includes the likes of:
Adrian Zmed
Jared from Subway
Rickie Lee Jones
Jeff Conaway from "Taxi"
Gunther from "Friends"
The bee girl from the Blind Melon video
Abe Vigoda
The two dorks in the mini-van on the Sonic commercials
Dee from "What's Happening?"
Susie Chapstick
The guy who played Chuck on "Happy Days"
These, and many many more!
In the words of Lemmy from Motorhead: "Don't try to dance to this--you'll fuck your legs up...
Well, the odyssey is over—I finally managed to get through the Captain & Tennille DVD set in its entirety—do I get some sort of medal for this? Actually, the last three episodes were a tad more tolerable—at least they weren’t loaded with guests from other ABC shows like the first half of the season. Instead, viewers were treated to a mixed bag of impressionists (Rich Little, John Byner), singers (Leo Sayer, Natalie Cole, Dionne Warwick, Englebert Whats-his-dinck), toupee-wearers (George Burns, Roy Clark, Don Knotts) and old fart comedian Henny Youngman. He was a has-been then—was that guy EVER funny in the first place? There was also an appearance by David Gates & Bread, whose career was pretty much toast by that time. Get it? Toast!!! Har-de-har-har...
And I finally got to see what I came here for in the first place—Heart’s first appearance on national TV, although it was rather underwhelming. They lip-synched "Dreamboat Annie" after segue-ing from the acoustic guitar intro to "Crazy On You" (why they didn’t do that one or "Magic Man", I’m rather curious), and it was kind of odd to see a svelte and thin Ann Wilson in a blue dress. Don't get me wrong, I’m not picking on her here like so many people did/do—I understand all the crap she’s been through on the weight thing. And I can honestly say it didn’t bother me at all when she started getting big—I still thought she looked really cute circa. 1985-87 (although the multi-colored big hair was a bit of a detriment). It wasn’t until she approached Mama Cass-size that there was cause for concern—I remember seeing Heart on David Letterman circa. 1991-92, and Ann was so obese that she no longer even looked healthy. Happily, she’s in a lot better condition now. Methinks you could make a good case for Heart for the Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame too. Wink, wink. Nudge, nudge. Say no more…
My All-time Heart Top Five: 1) "Barracuda", 2) "If Looks Could Kill", 3) "Crazy On You", 4) "Kick It Out", 5) "Who Will You Run To?"
While I’m on Heart, a little trivia for you: Next time you watch Fast Times At Ridgemont High, check out the girl driving the car that pulls up alongside Brad (Judge Reinhold) while he’s wearing the dorky pirate hat during his fish-and-chips delivery run—that’s Nancy Wilson of Heart. You see, she’s married to writer/director Cameron Crowe, the man also kinda sorta famous for Almost Famous.
From AP: "The family of Brad Delp, the lead singer for the band Boston, said his death was a suicide. 'He was a man who gave all he had to give to everyone around him, whether family, friends, fans or strangers,' the family said in a statement relayed by police Wednesday. 'He gave as long as he could, as best he could, and he was very tired. We take comfort in knowing that he is now, at last, at peace.' Delp also left two notes taped to a door and letters to his family and Sullivan. Baldwin said police do not know the contents of the letters."
Unbelievable. I'm going to have to let this latest development sink in a while before I comment on it. Tragic, very tragic...
Last night’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony was a strange affair, to put it kindly. VH-1 Classic aired it live for the first time, and now I can see why they’ve always taped and edited it down for later broadcast. This interminable affair outlasted this year’s Oscar ceremony by a good 25 minutes at four hours and ten minutes, and it contained as many awkward moments as it did highlights. A little recap for you:
- The evening began with a montage similar to the one from the Oscars of those music people who passed away over the last year. A Gold Star to the HOF people for even being up-to-date enough to include Brad Delp…
- It was very fitting that they paid tribute to Atlantic Records founder Ahmet Ertegun, but it didn’t need to take up 30 minutes of the show. Aretha Franklin sang in his honor, and she sounded like shit. I know this will probably piss some people off when I say this, but I think she’s highly overrated anyway—she was good, but not THAT good! If you want soulful, go with my girl Dusty Springfield…
- The unsinkable Keith Richards (he’s going to outlive us all, somehow!) was the presenter for the Ronettes. Does anyone know why he wears those Christmas ornaments/fishing tackle in his hair? Whatever it is, it looks really dorky. Looks like Keef’s been dipping into the Grecian Formula 16 too…
- I was surprised and impressed to see that Ronnie Spector has lost a lot of weight. Last time I saw her on TV, she was about as big as Ann Wilson at her heaviest, but now Ronnie’s somewhere between that and her size when she was in the Eddie Money video. Was also surprised to hear that she can still bring it, vocally. But, for someone with such a great singing voice, she has a dreadful speaking voice—she sounds like Fran Drescher with a head cold when she talks! Spector also fumbled through this big-ass list of names of people to thank, and kept losing her place. Springsteen did the same thing a few years back—reading off some 3 x 5 cards (poorly)—and he looked rather foolish. You’d think these people would at least practice their acceptance speeches a couple times—it’s not like they don’t have time to rehearse.
- Okay, I was against Patti Smith being inducted in the first place so I’m a little biased, but if she’s so bloody great, then why didn’t she perform more of her own songs instead of doing the Stones’ "Gimme Shelter"? Class acts like Deep Purple and the Moody Blues are passed over in favor of this? Why? But, I’ve been through all that already (see my mid-December RNRHOF rant).
- I could have done without Rev. Al Sharpton’s tribute speech on James Brown. Actually, I think the whole world could do without Rev. Al Sharpton, period…
- I could also have done without VH-1 "reporter" Aamer Haleem’s unnecessary interruptions. This cow-eyed bozo is the 21st century version of Kurt Loder.
- I’m sure under more favorable circumstances, they would have saved Van Halen for last, but VH was inducted third. See my separate post for the Van Halen saga…
- Next came Gaspasser Flash and the Fucked-up Five, or whatever their name is. Sorry kids, but I refuse to recognize this garbage as music. This is not a racial thing, either—I love good Soul and R&B music as much as anyone—but, Rap is NOT music in my book, and it’s a travesty to me that these goomers are in the ROCK ‘N’ ROLL Hall of Fame. However, I was rather tickled by the tepid reception these clowns got from the audience following their "performance".
- Presenter Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam droned on and on during his 15-minute filibuster about R.E.M. before they finally were inducted. I still think R.E.M. has a little more to prove before they are Hall-worthy, but that’s just me. Their performance was pretty uneven too.
- Then of course, there was the obligatory all-star jam for the finale—I hate these! You wind up with six guitar players, three bass players, two or three drummers and ten different people tripping over each other to get to a microphone and sing a line or two, and it sounds like total crap! Then again, that seemed to be the theme of the evening this time, so it was fitting...
What should have been a celebration of one of greatest Rock ‘N’ Roll bands of all-time turned out to be a very sordid affair, at best. As a veteran of over 100 Rock concerts over the last 28 years, I have never seen a crowd get more excited and pumped for a concert to begin than at a Van Halen show. Even the anticipation at all the Kiss shows I’ve seen never matched what these guys could generate during their prime. I saw Van Halen live seven times (four with Dave and three with Sammy), and nearly all of them were phenomenal shows, and their records are staples of my collection. So, what the fuck was this train wreck last night as they were inducted into the Hall of Fame? As a longtime Van Halen fan, I'm very embarrassed by the way this whole thing was handled.
I read today that David Lee Roth boycotted the event over a dispute because they wouldn't let him perform "Jump". Figures. Nice going, Dave—if you were any kind of man at all, you had a chance to be the hero here and save the day when Eddie was unable to, but naturally, you just had to be your usual immature dickhead self. And you wonder why you’ve fallen so far out of favor with the fans? As for your plummeting career, I think that guy in one of your videos summed it up succinctly: "Forget about it, Dave!"
At least Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony took the high road and showed up, although both of them stumbled through their acceptance speeches. But, they didn’t stumble nearly as badly as Velvet Revolver did playing "Ain’t Talkin’ ‘Bout Love", and especially the half-assed version of "Runaround" (a questionable selection, anyway) where the dumbass former Stone Temple Pilots singer Scott Weiland could only manage to sing that difficult chorus of "Round-round-and-round" several times. Don't believe me? Watch it for yourself here. During the pregnant pause following that song, I could actually hear people in the audience laughing! Then Paul Shaffer—emcee of the show—started playing his synthesizer, and Sammy and Mikey ambled on to the stage to do a very flat version of one of my least favorite Hagar-era songs, "Why Can’t This Be Love?". As I’ve said on here before—it pays to rehearse, fellas!
All in all, the timing of this whole thing couldn’t have been worse. Eddie Van Halen’s problems are well-documented—at least he had an excuse for not showing up—and his first priority should be to get his life back together, then deal with the band, and its members. I wonder if it might have been possible to postpone the band’s induction until next year, perhaps, when Ed is hopefully able to get his shit back together and, as both Sammy and Mike said last night, "be our buddy" again. Let’s just hope there’s a happy ending somewhere down the road, and this once-proud band can return from the musical wilderness it’s been lost in for the last 15 years or so. Meantime, what went down last night was an absolute joke, not to mention an insult to the band's legion of fans.
I took this photo in the upper reaches of the old St. Louis Arena circa. 1990. These were our seats for a Blues game, and they didn't tell us about that bloody beam when I bought the tickets! That's my friend Tom aiming his camera at someone and our friend Sean with his legs crossed. Tom could not see the left end of the hockey rink and from where I sat, I couldn't see the right side. Fortunately, all the scoring took place on my end in the N.Y. Rangers' 5-0 skunking of the Blues that night. Not long after I took this photo, the St. Louis Gestapo told us to put our cameras away, citing a Communist NHL policy banning picture taking during games. In spite of the crappy seats and over-zealous security staff, I loved that old building, which I plan to pay tribute to in a future blog entry.
Next, I take you to venerable Boston Garden, aka "The Gaaa-den", where I snapped this photo while I roamed the building during pre-game warm-ups in March, 1994. Believe it or not, I was sitting in a grandstand seat when I took this—you could have paid money to watch half a hockey game there, if you really wanted to! Our seats were actually on the end to the right behind the goal, and even then the upper deck overhang blocked part of the glass at the opposite end of the rink. Evidently, sightlines were merely an afterthought in arena and stadium design back in the late 1920's...
YOU HEARD IT HERE, FOLKS!
The 2007 NCAA Final Four participants will be Wisconsin, Kansas, Ohio St. and North Carolina. I have all the #1 seeds making it except Florida, who will fail to defend their title and lose to the Badgers of Wisconsin. And in the finals, U.N.C.’s Roy Williams will beat his former school, K.U., and I’ll have to endure all the whine-and-cheese party crowd (aka K.U. fans) bitching about him for another whole year…
WE DISTORT, THEN DERIDE, STARDATE 031207.5
Faux News Channel President Roger Ailes couldn’t help but notice the similarity between Barack Obama’s surname and Osama bin Laden’s first name last Thursday at the Radio & Television News Directors Association Foundation event in Washington. "Funny Man Roger" quipped, "And it is true that Barack is on the move. I don’t know if it’s true that President Bush called (Pakistani President) Musharraf and said, ‘Why can’t we catch this guy?’" Given Dubya’s intelligence level, I’m not so certain that a phone call like that hasn’t actually taken place!
Anyone care to guess how long it’ll be before Fox News Channel starts saying that Obama looks French?
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #15
"Saturday In The Park"—CHICAGO (1972) "A Bronx man still can tell stories his own way…" When I was eight, I’d never heard of Da Bronx, so I thought Robert Lamm was singing about a "bronze" man!
CLOWNS TO THE LEFT OF ME, JOKERS TO THE RIGHT...
In best Les Nessman tradition, a medical records person I work with pronounced the name Sean "seen" and the name Danielle "Daniel" today. This gives you an idea of the typical I.Q. levels I have to deal with on a daily basis. Heaven help us if we ever have a patient named Chi Chi Rodriguez...
SLEIGH BELLS RING, ARE YOU LISTENING?
Speaking of co-workers, does anyone know of a tactful way to tell a female co-worker to lose the damn charm bracelets already? My mom wears those damn things too, and they drive me nuts! Our co-worker sounds almost as if she's carrying a damn tambourine around all day, and it's every bit as irritating as Joan Rivers' voice...
I WAS GOING TO...
...do a wrap-up on the Rock 'N' Roll Hall of Fame induction ceremony tonight, but they just passed this year's Oscar ceremony a couple minutes ago for longevity, and this thing is far from over! Gaspasser Flash is being inducted now (some guy is thanking his "moms" at the moment), and R.E.M. is yet to come. The Van Halen induction was surreal, at best, ignominious at worst. Sammy Hagar and Michael Anthony were they only two VH members to attend. Full report forthcoming tomorrow or whenever this show ends, whichever comes first...
GET WELL SOON, EDDIE
And I mean that sincerely—Eddie Van Halen announced this week that he is entering rehab and I commend him for it. This man is far too gifted and talented to be wallowing in his own feces (figuratively) and becoming a punch line just like Anna Nicole Smith. Don't know whether he will attend the R'N'R Hall of Fame ceremony Monday night or not (word has it that Michael Anthony may now be the only member of VH to attend), but I truly hope EVH is able to exorcise his inner demons and become a true guitar god again. Let's hope Edward's rehab goes a bit more swimmingly than Britney's...
Incidentally, VH-1 is airing the RNRHOF thing live as it happens this year for a change. May well be more drama here than the Oscars...
WELL, IS HE OR ISN'T HE?
You may or may not have heard about hockey player Chris Simon of the New York Islanders being suspended indefinitely for whacking a guy in the face with his stick on Thursday night. That term "suspended indefinitely" always bugs me. I know it means for an undetermined length of time, but it sounds so wishy-washy to me. Shouldn't be anything "indefinite" about it—the miscreant is most definitely suspended!
LET'S DON'T AND SAY WE DID...
VH-1, in their seemingly never-ending quest to prolong the careers of has-beens/never-weres with their so-called "Celebreality" series, has managed to unearth the great douche-bag himself, Andrew "Dice" Clay for their latest "reality" borefest. What, Bowser from Sha Na Na was unavailable? Vanilla Ice wanted too much money? William Hung not so well-hung?
Good golly, Miss Molly—must we dust off this no-talent jagoff and put him back on TV again? I can honestly say that Clay's vulgarity never offended me at all—fuck, I've been a fan of the likes of R. Pryor, R. Foxx, G. Carlin , E. Murphy and the band W.A.S.P. for years! My fundamental problem with A.D.C. is he just ain't funny! What "Dice" never seems to understand is that dirty does NOT necessarily equal funny. About the only noteworthy thing Clay ever did in my book was coining the phrase "cute bald chick".
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #14
"You’re The One That I Want"—JOHN TRAVOLTA/OLIVIA NEWTON-JOHN (1978) "I got chills—they’re multiplyin’." Or better known to my 8th grade ears as "I got shoes, they’re good for flyin’." I told ya Travolta couldn't sing...
SINCE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT OF BOSTON, ANYWAY...
This may be poor timing on my part in the wake of Brad Delp's passing yesterday, but I'm reminded of a funny parody of Boston's "Rock 'N' Roll Band" by an Alternative band back in the early '90s. I think they were called the Rug Burns (or something like that), and I heard them one night on KLZR out of Lawrence, KS. Anyway, the song started off "We were just another band out of Duck-Snort..." and later they skewered the line about the man who "came to the stage one night" with "He drove a big cigar and smoked a Cadillac car..."
Some more interesting tidbits about movie and TV peeples...
—John Belushi was originally slated to be in Ghostbusters before his untimely death. I’ve heard conflicting reports that he would have either played Venkman (Bill Murray’s character) or Ernie Hudson’s character.
—Speaking of Belushi, Animal House was initially slated to be filmed on the campus of the University of Missouri in Columbia, but school officials took one look at the script and got the heebie-jeebies, thus the plan was scuttled, so Otter, D-Day, Flounder, Bluto and the boys from Delta House wound up filming at the University of Oregon.
—Actor Edward James Olmos lost out to Christopher Lloyd as Kruge the Klingon in Star Trek III-The Search For Spock because Lloyd was taller. D’oh!
—Seven years before becoming Dr. Noah Drake on "General Hospital", Rick Springfield nearly replaced David Cassidy on "The Partridge Family" when Cassidy handed in his notice after the show’s fourth season. Since no one seemed to notice when they replaced the original brown-haired Chris (Jeremy Gelbwaks) with a blond Chris (Brian Forster), the producers thought it might work with Rick taking David's place too. However, cooler heads prevailed, and they wisely decided to call it a day since the series had run its course anyway, plus it was high time for Danny Bonaduce to get started on becoming the pathetic has-been he is today.
—Actor/producer Jeremy Lloyd was a regular on "Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In" in the early ‘70s, and later co-created the BBC sitcom "Are You Being Served?", and he can be very thankful for a bout of exhaustion that probably saved his life. He was invited to spend the evening with Sharon Tate and friends on August 9, 1969 when the Manson family came a-calling. Fortunately for Lloyd, he was so tired that he took a nap that afternoon which lasted well into the evening and he wound up not going out that night at all.
—Actress Moira Kelly was originally cast as Kit Keller in A League Of Their Own, but an ankle injury she sustained during the filming of her breakthrough movie The Cutting Edge (where she played a figure skater) put the kibosh on that. Subsequently, Lori Petty got the role of Kit, for which she wore a wig because her real hair was much shorter than Kit's.
—Sharon Stone was passed over for lead roles in several big-time movies, including Fatal Attraction (Glenn Close), Batman (Kim Basinger) and Dick Tracy (Madonna).
Sad and shocking news in the Rock 'N' Roll world as Boston lead singer Brad Delp was found dead yesterday at age 55 at his home in New Hampshire. No word yet on the cause of death, but foul play is not suspected. (That's him on the left in the photo.)
Strange irony that Brad's death comes just a few days after my little Boston rant—in which I meant NO disrespect to Brad or the band itself, just the disproportionate amount of airplay they get on the radio. I loved them when they first came on the scene—hell, I played that first Boston album nearly as often as Kiss' Destroyer and Frampton Comes Alive in '76. "Smokin'" and "Peace of Mind" are my two favorites of theirs, and "Something About You" is their most underrated track. And like I've said before, that first album holds the rare distinction of having EVERY track from it played on a regular basis on Classic Rock stations (Led Zeppelin IV being the only other one I can think of). You can't sneeze at that...
If I DO have a criticism of Boston, it's that they had the potential to be one of the biggest American bands of all-time—right up there with Aerosmith and Van Halen—but sadly, they got all tangled up in legal hassles and perfectionism and egos (mostly attributable to guitarist/leader Tom Scholz, I think), and they only made what, four albums in 20 years? I'd like to think that band had a lot more to say, and Brad Delp certainly had one of the finest voices you'll ever hear in ANY genre of music.
Maudlin as it might sound, I feel like I've lost a chunk of my past here. Thus, I am voluntarily cranking up the Boston tonight on my CD player...
Rest In Peace, Brad
It's entirely possible Ann Coulter does indeed have a nut sack, after all!Not bad, for someone who looks like a third-rate Aerosmith groupie...Dude looks a lady, indeed!
COMMON SENSE WOULD TELL ME NOT TO TRY AND CONTINUE...
I should probably have heeded my man Pete Townshend's words, but I'm a glutton for punishment, I guess, as I currently view Disc 2 of the Captain & Tennille DVD thing, and it's every bit as putrid as Disc 1 so far. Opening number on the first episode features C&T doing the Three Dog Night classic "Celebrate" with El Capitan wearing this bizarre orange tuxedo/ostrich feather boa get-up that even Elton John wouldn't have touched, with Tennille wearing an equally gaudy pink gown get-up, while orange-clad dancers circled the stage. What was this show's obsession with the color orange?
I rented Disc 2 mainly to see Heart's appearance, which apparently is on bloody Disc 3—oy! Oh well, it's still kind of a hoot to see The Sylvers doing "Hot Line"—man, those were some big-ass afros! Chaka Khan isn't too hard on the eyes on here, either. "M*A*S*H" must not have been paying Loretta Swit worth a damn back then, because she made two different appearances on "C&T", and would you believe, even Muhammad Ali was on this show? Right now as I type, Dick Clark is on there playing Clark Kent. It's all like this surreal dream...
BOOK ‘EM, DANNO!
Regarding Scooter Libby’s conviction yesterday—yer outta there! This is just the first domino to fall, too. And that's all I have to say about that. For now...
NANCY GRACE IN ACTING ROLE…
…on "Law & Order", playing a TV personality—wow, what a stretch! I guess that's the best she can do—it would be too big of a stretch for that helmet-haired bee-yatch to portray a human being...
CLASSIC MISHEARD LYRIC #13
"Isn't She Lovely?"--STEVIE WONDER (1976) "Isn't she lovely, made from love?" I always thought Stevie's daughter was named "Mabel Love", and that's why he sang "Isn't she lovely, Mabel Love." Oh dopey me...
GOOD ONE FROM LENO
Caught Jay Leno’s "headlines" bit last night, and he had a funny one involving a sale ad for Mrs. Paul’s "Dreaded" Fish Sticks! Sometimes there IS truth in advertising…
WORLD'S DUMBEST SONG LYRICS OF ALL-TIME, VOL. IV
Here's a couple more that came to mind...
"Elenore"—THE TURTLES (1968) "You’re my pride and joy, et cetera…" The only Rock ‘N’ Roll song I know of that has "etc." in the lyrics! Gee, you must be really enamored with this chick with talk like that! Why not throw in a couple blah, blah, blahs and a yadda, yadda, yadda or two? Ad infinitum…
"Smoke On The Water"--DEEP PURPLE (1972) "Some stupid with a flare gun burned the place to the ground." Stupid is as stupid does—"Stupid" is an adjective, not a noun! I can't believe Ian Gillan couldn't have come up with a stronger word here—dumbass, bonehead, idiot, weirdo, drunkard, jackass, nutbag, firebug—anything but stupid!
Don't mean to pick on JD—just having a little fun here. I’ve actually learned a new respect for his music over the years, even though I do admit to ripping on him pretty good back in the day—it was very uncool to be a John Denver fan when I was in Jr. High in the late ‘70s! Songs like "Take Me Home, Country Roads" and "Rocky Mountain High" certainly hold up well after 30 some-odd years, and I think the very underrated "Calypso" was John’s finest hour. I can honestly say that yodeling never sounded better to me than it does on that record, and it’s a really beautiful song. Ol’ Jacques Gusto was surely humbled by it, too.
